Apartments for all the fictional people that live in my head rent free. Found (NBC) | When Calls the Heart (Hallmark) | The Way Home (Hallmark) | HPI (French version) | 9-1-1 (ABC) | Absolutely anything Austen
"So, how did this…" Margaret waves her fork between them.
Buck looks to Eddie, pleading for help.
Eddie takes pity on him, thank fuck. "Well, the firefighter games gave us a lot of time to ourselves," he begins. It occurs to Buck then, that they never thought up a real timeline for how and when it happened. At least Eddie seems to have a plan. "It's not something we usually get."
"I think I first realized there was something there on the roadtrip back," he continues, and Buck chokes on his sip of water.
Eddie pats his back, and keeps on talking like he's not bringing up one of the most traumatic experiences they've ever faced. One they still haven't talked about. "We got to spend so much time together, and it gave me a lot to think about."
"That's why you tied the competition," Chim grumbles good naturedly. "Too busy thinking about Buckaroo."
Eddie laughs, a bashful thing, as he ducks his head. "Might've had something to do with it."
Buck remembers picking a fight with the Harts, testing his luck to get inside their heads. Remembers getting shoved, and Eddie jumping in to have his back in half a second. Buck protecting him when the Harts pushed back.
Don't you touch him. A mantra that's run through Buck's head longer than he really knows. He's threatened more than just some nepo babies with the statement. He's challenged the universe with it, when it tried to take Eddie on a quiet street, or seal him in a tomb thirty feet beyond Buck's reach. Or when grieving parents planned to stop him from getting to Buck.
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Fake dating, my most beloved. Buck and his suspiciously timed boyfriend who is totally 100% here for the bit 🙂↕️
💖 @circledwithaheart
Oh, completely here for the bit, no other reason, nope.
"Dinner is served," Chim announces from the kitchen before Buck can do something stupid, like kiss Eddie. Or at the very least haul him into a room and ask what the hell he meant.
It takes a few minutes of wrangling kids to get them all settled, but way too soon, they're all seated in awkward silence.
Maddie is the first to try and make conversation. "Theo's starting school soon, isn't he?" she asks with a smile at Theo. Buck sends her a grateful look. As long as they can keep the table distracted, things should be fine. Buck hopes.
"Yeah!" Theo exclaims, bouncing in his seat.
"I wish I was that excited when I started school," Eddie chuckles with a shake of his head.
"What, Mr. Top Of His Class didn't like school?" Buck teases. It's automatic. Confusing signals and hopeless pining be damned.
Chris shakes his head. "You should hear Pepa's stories about him."
Eddie's cheeks turn a light pink and Buck grins. "You keeping some secrets from me, Diaz?"
The blush deepens and Buck's mouth waters with the urge to bite, just to see if it's as sweet as he imagines.
"More than you think." Eddie says under his breath, barely loud enough for Buck to hear, and what does Buck do with that?
Just watched one of those ship videos on YouTube (you know the ones) for a show called Ransom Canyon (literally never heard of it before so I might be missing some context) and this might be a hot take—- I mean I love angst and love triangles as much as the next guy —but if I developed feelings for someone that my sibling or bestie had been or is seeing, requited or not I would simply just…NOT date them. IDK. That is sooo simple to me.
I never thought of this before, but eavesdropping is INCREDIBLY important in Persuasion. It was generally considered Bad Form, but here it brings about the happy ending! First Anne eavesdrops on Wentworth and Louisa and learns what Wentworth actually thinks about their previous relationship (by implication), and then Wentworth eavesdrops on Anne and Captain Harville and learns what Anne actually thinks about their previous relationship (by implication). Without eavesdropping, it might never have worked out!
Tell Me Everything is queer love, relationships and dating podcast hosted by Buck and Hen.
In addition to just general discussions of queer relationships and hosting queer guests, they have a segment each episode where they answer subscriber questions.
For reasons unknown, Buck becomes particularly attached to one subscriber, JuegoConFuego, whose weekly submissions asking for advice and updating them on his dating progress (or lack thereof) are equal parts funny, endearing and alluring.
Hen isn't the only one who notices Buck's attachment, their fan base does too, and after months of JuegoConFuego lacking any success, a fan petition signed by 20k people, and Hen's gleeful encouragement, Buck offers to take JuegoConFuego out on a date under the guise of wanting to help him figure out why his dates always go poorly.
In a shocking turn of events, the date goes splendidly, Buck is completely enamored with Eddie, much to his dismay. This date isn't real, he's basically only here to check that Eddie isn't committing any social faux pas - he isn't, as far as Buck is concerned Eddie's perfect - and to show Eddie a good time after so many terrible dates. When they part that night, Buck longs to kiss him and he can tell that Eddie wants him to, but he doesn't, he can't, not if he wants to protect his own heart. The flash of disappointment in Eddie's face nearly breaks Buck's resolve.
On the next episode of Tell Me Everything, Buck recounts the date, doing his best to hold back the enormity of his infatuation but based on Hen's knowing smile he's doing a poor job of it.
When they reach the segment of subscriber submissions, Buck is almost surprised to see JuegoConFuego among them. Shaking with nerves, he asks Hen to read it this time.
JuegoConFuego has finally had a wonderful date, the best he's ever been on (not that it's a particularly high bar) and for the first time ever wants to go on a second date.
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hey so i sat down this morning with only "buck registering exactly wtf he said to tommy that morning mid conversation with hen at a bobthena bbq post bobby rescue/bobby retirement" as a jumping off point and wrote this all in one sitting, from top to bottom
many cakes and yadda yadda
It hits him halfway through a conversation with Hen.
They and the rest of the extended 118 family are at Bobby and Athena's new home for a joint House Finished slash Bobby's Not Sick Anymore slash Official Retirement of one Robert Wade Nash slash Congratulations Captain Howard "Chimney" Han! slash Welcome to the World, Kevin Daniel Han! party.
It's definitely a mouthful, and didn't want to fit on either the banner or sheet cake that were ordered, but Buck can't get back into that whole 120 character maximum fiasco because he's just had a realization.
A horrible realization.
A life-changing realization.
He'd taken one (1) measly glance at Eddie across the yard, finding him a faux-exasperated yet willing jungle gym for Jee-yun and Mara, both girls hanging delightedly off either one of his best friend's arms, and he'd thought back on something he thought he'd shoved away into the trash along with the leftover bowls of fruit and scrambled eggs from that morning.
"Buck?" Hen asks, surely due to the sudden cutoff of conversation and what's probably the most tragically devastated expression to ever grace a person's face on his.
"S-sorry, sorry, I just—" he's already walking away.
"Buck?"
He turns to face her instead, walking backward into the house from the yard. "S–Hen, gotta—Maddie." He manages, as if that explains anything, and spins on his heel to desperately search for his sister.
He finds her in conversation with Athena, the two of them on a pair of what are assuredly extremely comfortable chairs (Buck hasn't had a chance to try it out yet) in the living room.
"Maddie," he insists, belatedly realizing he's cut off something Athena was saying.
"Buck." she returns, one brow raised at him in exasperation, her hand patting baby Kevin steadily where he lays on her shoulder.
"Maddie I need your help."
"Everything okay, Buckaroo?"
Buck glances at Athena, then up at the movement he sees out the corner of his eye. Bobby has come through from their new kitchen with a platter of prepped burger patties ready to go on the grill, his expression just a hair more concerned than Maddie or Athena's
"You alright, kid?" Bobby asks, setting his platter down near the door and moving to stand behind Athena's chair.
"I'm f—" He can't get the word out. "I just need to talk to Maddie."
All three give him a calculating look before Maddie sighs, "Okay, let me find Howie," she says, moving to stand with the baby.
All at once, Buck feels guilty, "Wait, I ca—"
"You hand him here, honey," Athena says, standing before he or Maddie can, "I'll take him while he's still sleeping and I'll find Chimney if he starts making a fuss."
Relieved, Maddie passes him up after giving his forehead a kiss.
Athena stands and bobs softly away with his nephew, and Buck can't help but feel a tiny bubble of relief break through his panic.
"Maddie, I'm—" he tries, holding a hand out to help her up.
"It's okay, Evan, I'm just going to go to the bathroom quick before we start." she sighs, taking his hand and scooting to the edge of the chair before pausing. "Actually, I think I need to pump too."
Buck opens his mouth to try to apologize again—ready to do his damndest to shove everything away back into the trash can in the back of his head where they'd come from—when Bobby speaks up.
"You can use our room if you need the privacy, has an ensuite and everything." he says, smiling down at her.
"Thank you, Bobby." Maddie sighs, pulling herself up with Buck's hand and muttering, "Those chairs are way too comfortable."
Bobby snorts a laugh, moving to retrieve his plate of burgers. "Don't I know it."
Bobby follows Athena and Kevin into the yard while Buck follows his sister to her bag by the door and then down the hall to the master bedroom.
She takes the bag into the bathroom, and when she comes back out, she is drying and assembling the parts to her pump without batting an eye.
"Okay, baby brother, what's going on in that head of yours.." she sighs, sitting on the edge of Bobby and Athena's bed.
He gives her a moment to get herself set up, and as soon as the little machine is humming along, he blurts it out.
"I told Tommy I was in love with Eddie."
For a long, long moment, Maddie just stares at him.
He listens to rhythmic hum of Maddie's pump, to the sounds of the party going on outside, the sounds of the kids laughing and yelling, finds himself easily picking out the specific register of Eddie's voice out of all the others.
"Okay." Maddie says eventually. "Okay… was there something that led you two to that bit of information?"
Groaning, Buck lets his face fall into his hands. "I slept with Tommy."
"Oh my god."
He picks his head back up again at her apparent surprise, "You knew this alrea—"
"Please tell me you didn't say Eddie's name whi—"
"Jesus, Maddie! No!"
She half laughs, "Sorry, sorry, so you slept with Tommy and then you told him afterwards that you love Eddie?"
"No!" he insists, then: "Well, kind of."
"Evan!" she laughs, still shocked.
"Stop laughing at me!"
"I'm not!"
"You are!"
"Okay! Okay, not laughing." she pledges, holding her hands up as if in surrender.
For another moment, they are quiet.
"So…it was after?"
Buck groans, flopping backward onto Bobby and Athena's unfairly comfortable bed.
Maddie giggles again, but falls quiet waiting for him to explain.
"It was the morning after, and I woke up without him in bed and was like, okay. That's fine, y'know? Like, it was obviously just a hookup after Ravi brought him over at the bar—"
"Ravi did what?"
Buck waves his hands around and shushes her without taking his eyes off the ceiling.
"That's how that happened in the first place; Ravi and I ran into him at the bar, we went back to Ed—my place and hooked up, but that's not the point.
"I woke up and he was gone, but when I went into the kitchen to make coffee or something to get my hangover to go away, he was there in the kitchen making breakfast."
"That was nice of him," Maddie hedges.
"It was, and I said so, and asked him if he thought I wouldn't break his heart anymore and he said 'Not as much, now that the competition is out of the way.'."
"Right. You told me this. And then when I asked if you were in love with Eddie, you said no."
"Because I wasn't. Or at least, didn't think I was!
"Like I said before, everyone keeps expecting me to be pining after my straight best friend—"
"Are you? In love with Eddie?"
Embarrassingly, despite the teasing he knows she's trying to go for by repeating the same words they'd said before, Buck feels his eyes start to burn when he says: "Yes."
Even more embarrassingly, he actually sobs after he says that.
"Oh Ev, come here.." Maddie soothes, pulling at his hand to get him to sit up and lean into her.
He tucks his head under hers into her neck the best he can; its uncomfortable, but the soothing motion of her hand on his back and the grounding of the weight of her head on his makes his brain quiet for a while.
Eventually, she nudges him up so she can turn off her pump and stow the fresh bags into the cooler pack she and Chim had brought with them, so Buck flops back onto his back and stares up at the ceiling again while he listens to her clean out the machine and pack it away.
He feels it when she comes back to sit beside him, the mattress dipping under her weight.
"So you told Tommy you were in love with Eddie, but didn't realize you did until now? Is that what I'm hearing."
"Mhmm."
"What did you say, exactly?"
Buck feels his cheeks heat. He'd tell Maddie anything, will tell Maddie anything, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing.
"I said: 'I don't have to want to sleep with everyone I have feelings for, and I don't have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with.'."
"And Eddie is the first."
"Mhmm."
"You would not sleep with him? If he didn't want to?"
Buck turns his head to stare at her. "That's what you got out of that?"
"It's surprising!" she defends, "You like the…physical aspects of a relationship."
"I know that!"
"That's why it was surprising to hear!"
"Loving him is more than enough!"
His words sink in quickly.
"Loving him, loving Christopher, is more than enough for me."
"Evan.."
"I know he's never going to feel the same, Mads," he says, sitting up again. "But they are the two most important people in my life, I won't lose them just because I have a feelings problem."
"Your feelings are not a problem." She insists sternly.
"In this instance they are."
"Evan—"
"Hey! There you two are!" Chim says, knocking on the slightly opened door before opening it. "Food's all ready when you are."
"Thanks Chim." Buck grouses, standing off the bed.
"Hey, everything okay?" he asks, seeming to clock the emotion in the room.
"Peachy, I was just letting Maddie know I'd probably be heading out after a bite." Buck says, forcing a smile. "Big day tomorrow."
"Evan." Maddie repeats.
"Big day?" Chim asks, stepping out of his way as he leaves the room.
"Yep! Starting a new Pilates program at a place downtown!" he lies, all but fleeing from the room.
He mingles again, talks to the others again, and pointedly ignores the almost-knowing looks he's getting from Hen when he chooses to eat his burger standing next to her instead of at Eddie's side.
He also pointedly ignores Maddie's exasperated gaze and Chimney's confused one, pleasantly surprised to see it there instead of the specific secret-panic expression Chim likes to wear when he knows something he shouldn't—not that he was expecting that Maddie woul—nevermind. He's got to get out of here.
He finishes his burger and is about to finish saying his goodbyes to everyone when Eddie tries to corner him in the kitchen.
"Buck, everything okay?"
Buck hates how fast his heart starts beating even before he can turn around.
"Yeah Eddie, I'm good, why?" he asks, turning to face his friend (who he is in love with). "Listen, I was just about to come find you, I gotta—" he starts before Eddie can continue, but cuts himself off.
He looks at Eddie and it hurts, he looks at Eddie and sees the years, years of trials and tribulations they've gone through apart and together and—
If he tells Eddie he's leaving, he'll never hear the end of it. He'll insist on knowing why Buck is leaving early, he'll call him out on his Pilates excuse because he knows that Buck would've told him months ago about a Pilates class, and he knows that Eddie knows if there was a Pilates class, then Buck would've been nagging at Eddie to go with him until Eddie finally caved.
He knows this, he knows Eddie knows this, and he loves him so damn much.
"I still gotta ask Chris about the Orcas exhibit at the Natural History Museum, are you sure he'll want to go with me?"
Eddie blinks at him. "Of course he'll go with you, Buck, but—"
"Great! I'm gonna go find him!"
He shuffles out of the kitchen via the other side of the island (out of grabbing territory) as Eddie tries another, "Buck—"
He finds Chris easily, sitting in the squashy chair Maddie had abandoned earlier in the night with his Switch in hand.
"Hey! Chris," Buck says, squatting down beside him.
"Hi Buck!" Chris greets him back, smiling up at him briefly before going back to his Switch.
"Hey, I wanted to ask you about going with me to the new Orca exhibit at the Museum before I go."
Chris snorts, "Yeah, I'll go!" then the rest of what Buck said seems to sink in. "Wait, y-you're leaving?"
"Yeah bud," Buck pats his shoulder. "I gotta head out but I wanted to say bye to you before I did."
"Wh-why do you have to leave?" he asks, putting his system to sleep and setting it in his lap.
Just like with Eddie, there's no use in lying to Christopher. "I'm feeling a lot of big things right now and I don't want to ruin the party for everyone else."
"The party will be ruined if you leave."
Buck's heart aches. "That's sweet of you to say, kid." he says, ruffling the curls on Chris's head. "But I think this shindig is dying down anyway, don't you?"
Chris peers at him over his glasses, and for some godforsaken reason, Buck feels like Chris can see right to his gooey center and knows exactly what Buck only just figured out.
"I hope you feel better, Buck."
Buck lets out a shaky breath. "Me too, kid."
- - - - -
Getting a call in the middle of the night is pretty much anyone's worst nightmare.
For Eddie, being however many miles, hours, or dollars away from LA when he got his mid-night call, was the worst of the worst.
He had just gotten his son back, he was just finding his footing away from Bu—the home he'd known for years, just settling with some not-so-easy realizations about himself… and now his phone was ringing in the middle of the night.
He answered the phone.
He felt his entire life flicker out under Maddie's breathless "Eddie?"
He felt his entire life flame guiltily back again when she told him it was Bobby, not Buck.
He felt all those realizations he had been keeping at an arm's length snap into place as he hung up the phone.
Bobby was hurt, not Buck.
Maddie's voice on the other end of That Call scared him so badly he'd had a staring contest with the wall opposite his bed when the call ended and it wasn't Buck.
Eddie likes to tell people later that it was a quick 10 minute crisis, but the reality was that the entire 10 minutes he'd spent staring at the wall before he'd picked up the phone again to book tickets back home was the longest quick 10 minutes of his life.
The entire time, his brain kept repeating I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
Over and over and over again.
Now he's back, they're back for good, and Eddie's brain still won't shut up about it.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Buck.
Still playing on a loop, still no less true than the first time, but manageable. Quieter.
Less quiet when Buck is seemingly avoiding him at the 118's Celecongratuparty ("It's the House Finished slash Bobby's Not Sick Anymore slash Official Retirement of one Robert Wade Nash slash Congratulations Captain Howard "Chimney" Han! slash Welcome to the World, Kevin Daniel Han! party, Eddie, get it right." the Buck from last week repeats in his mind.)
Everything was fine at first, he and Buck meeting up and splitting off at various points over the course of the evening, then Buck and Maddie disappeared, and now Eddie is having to corner his best friend in the Grant-Nash kitchen to try and get some answers out of him.
Which fails spectacularly, if he would say so himself.
Buck flees his presence, and before Eddie can follow him to his son's side and confront him again, Mara and Jee-yun are on his heels, insisting on him being their own personal mobile swing.
And what is he gonna do, not bend to the whims of his two friends' adorable daughters? What is he, a heathen?
So Eddie carts the girls to and fro while they swing to and fro, and soon, his arms are sore, his Buck is gone, and his son says "Buck said he had too many feelings to stay."
Eddie frowns. "Too many feelings?"
"That's what he said."
Eddie scrubs through his brain about anything that had seemed off with Buck lately, any nothing that his friend's surprisingly anxious mind could whip up into a big pile of something when Chris speaks up again.
"Maybe he's having the same ones as you, dad."
That had been another long conversation with his son; there were tears, anger, but also lots of hugs and in the end, ready acceptance, but Eddie didn't think that—
"What do you mean?"
"C'mon dad, it took me a bit, but I knew it w-was gonna be Buck."
Eddie lets out a breath. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I think I knew that too." Eddie admits quietly, "Way before I should've."
"A-are you gonna find him?"
"Mijo, we don't know—"
"Aunt Maddie would know."
Eddie blinks at him. Then grins. "Aunt Maddie, huh?"
"Yeah, sh-she and Buck left for a bit. She w-would know what his big feelings are."
Eddie presses a kiss to Chris' forehead with an exaggerated Muah! "Love ya, kid."
"Love you too dad."
Eddie finds Maddie chatting with Karen, Baby Kevin strapped to her chest.
"Maddie, hey, do you know where Buck went?"
She sighs in response. "He left, didn't he."
"Seems so."
She sighs again, "Well, he hasn't officially closed on his house yet so he'd either go to my house or yours."
"Where do you think 'big feelings' will send him?" Eddie asks.
Maddie opens her mouth to answer, but Karen cuts in with: "Wait, is this about what I think it is?" Maddie nudges her pointedly with her elbow, but Karen ignores her. "Hen and I will be glad to have Chris over."
"That would be great, Karen." he says to her, then turns to Maddie. "I think I have some equally big feelings to share with your brother."
Karen gasps, but Maddie only smiles.
"Be good to him, Eddie."
"Nothing I'd rather be."
He gives them a quick goodbye, thanks Bobby and Athena for hosting, lets Chris know about staying with Denny and the Wilson's, and heads out.
He swings by Maddie and Chimney's place first since it's just a bit out of the way on the way home, but there's no Buck in the driveway.
Turning onto South Bedford, he's relieved when he sees Buck's Jeep in it's normal spot in Eddie's driveway.
He parks his truck, and is passing the Jeep on the way to the front door when he realizes Buck is still sitting in the driver's seat.
"Buck?"
He doesn't seem to hear him, so Eddie taps on the window to get his attention.
Buck flinches at the sound, but rolls down the window. "H-hey Eddie, what're you doing here?"
Eddie looks back at his house in confusion, then back at Buck. "At my house? Coming home, I think."
"Shouldn't you be at the party?"
"Shouldn't you?" Eddie counters.
Buck just shakes his head and looks back out the windshield.
"Hey, you wanna come inside?"
After a moment, Buck nods; he rolls up his window and steps out of his Jeep, locking it behind him as he follows Eddie into the house.
Seemingly on autopilot, Buck toes off his shoes by the door, strips off his jacket, and heads into the kitchen with Eddie right behind him.
Buck opens the fridge and pulls out a couple bottles of beer, twisting the caps off both of them and passing one to Eddie before leaning back into the corner of counter next to the fridge.
"So." Eddie hedges.
"Hm?"
"Chris said you told him you had some big feelings earlier."
Buck freezes with his beer halfway to his mouth.
"Not really, no." he manages, taking a sip from his bottle.
"Really?"
"Mhm."
"That's a shame."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Why's that?"
"I had some pretty big feelings too, a while back," Eddie sighs, acting sheepish. "And, well, I had hoped you did too so you could maybe help with them?"
"Eddie, I—" Buck clears his throat, "I'd be happy to help."
"Even if you didn't have any recently?"
"Of course." Buck smiles, completely sincere. "What were they about?"
Hook, line, and sinker.
"Well, I…"
Eddie's throat threatens to close up on him. Damn, he was supposed to be better at this? He knows what his feelings are, he just has to say it.
Say it.
Say. It.
"You don't have to—"
"I'm getting there!" Eddie insists, "They're just… They're pretty big feelings."
Buck smiles softly at him.
Eddie takes a breath. Looks down at the floor.
"I realized I may—no, I know I have new big feelings about someone in particular and I don't know if I should tell them, or how they're going to react when I do."
When Buck doesn't say anything for a long moment, Eddie makes himself look up. And what he finds is heartbreaking.
Buck looks devastated.
"Buck? You o—"
"Who is it? Wait, you don't have to tell me, just.." he glances over at Eddie. "Who is it?"
Despite everything going on with his best friend's face right now, Eddie can't help but smile.
"We've been friends for a while." he says.
Buck glances up and away again. "Yeah?"
"More like best friends." Buck's face scrunches painfully. "For what, seven years now?"
This time, Buck's face scrunches in confusion.
"Yeah," Eddie says, despite Buck not saying anything. "First day I met them, they hated me."
"That sucks."
Eddie shrugs, stepping closer. "Not really, it only lasted half a shift."
Buck's lips twitch. "That's good."
"It is. We've been like this ever since." Eddie demonstrates by twisting two of his fingers together, getting Buck to look at him instead of the floor.
"They've had my back, and I've had theirs;" he takes another step closer to Buck, setting his untouched beer on a bit of open counter as he passes. "They helped me get my son the care he needed when I felt like I was drowning, they helped me build my son a harness so he could skateboard,"
Eddie steps closer. "I thought I'd lost them when the engine got blown up; you might've seen it, it was all over the news."
Buck's lips twitch again. "Yeah, I think I saw something about that."
"I thought I lost them to a tsunami along with my son too, but they never stopped looking for him. The entire time." He takes another step.
Buck shifts against the counter, looking Eddie up and down warily.
"Then I legally couldn't talk to them for a while, and I missed them so damn much." Another step.
Buck squirms, setting down his bottle and crossing his arms over his chest as looks down at his feet again.
"I got stuck 40 feet underground and all I could think of was them." Another step.
"Eddie…" Buck pleads, finally looking at him with tears in his eyes.
But Eddie's on a roll now, he can't stop.
"I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen to my son if I didn't make it, but I'd hoped they'd always be there for each other, so I made them my son's legal guardian if something were ever to happen to me.
"And not long after that, I did almost—" he can't even get it out. "But they were there. Right in front of me with my blood on their face, and I thought… At least Chris will be okay.
"Then I lost them for real. A whole 3 minutes and 17 seconds where I had to live in a world without them." A last step. He's toe-to-toe with Buck now. "The relief I felt when he took a breath on his own again was second only to seeing Christopher again after the tsunami."
"Eddie…" Buck unwinds his arms and wraps them around Eddie instead.
"I had to leave for a little while recently, but he was insane enough to take over my lease for me while I was gone."
That finally gets Buck to laugh, even if it's just one soft chuckle. "I knew it, you're in love with Freddie Fakeman."
Eddie laughs, sinking into Buck's arms. "I'm so in love with him it's a little scary."
Buck squeezes him tighter, resting his head on Eddie's. "It doesn't have to be scary."
"I know." Eddie acquiesces, "Doesn't mean it's not."
"You know what?"
"Hm?"
"If it makes you feel any better, I think Freddie Fakeman is in love with you, too."
Eddie can't help the grin that takes over his face.
"Is that why he felt the need to flee from me earlier?"
"He didn't flee, he just…"
"Ran away? Escaped? Absconded?"
"You're very funny."
"I try."
They're quiet for a moment, but eventually Eddie feels Buck shift uncertainly.
"Maybe he was also realizing something similar and didn't know to deal with it."
"We could've dealt with it together."
"He said he didn't want to ruin the most important thing in his life." he whispers.
"He should've just talked to me instead of you." Eddie whispers back.
Buck laughs, a short rumbling thing that Eddie enjoys hearing directly from his chest. "I'll make sure he knows that."
For another long moment, they just hold each other, then Eddie pulls back just far enough to look Buck in the eye.
"Hi." he says, successfully breaking the last of the tension when Buck snorts.
"Hi Eddie."
"You know what I just realized?"
"What's that?"
"I'm not in love with Freddie Fakeman." Eddie says, feeling Buck stiffen under him.
He untangles his arms from around Buck's waist and moves them to sit on either side of his neck instead, feeling the soft strands of his hair weave between his fingers.
"I'm in love with you, Buck."
Buck relaxes again, relief flooding through him. "You're an asshole, you know that?"
"But you love me anyway."
"Yeah." A hand finds it's way from Eddie's waist to the back of his neck, and a pair of lips find their way to his. "I really do."
yeah i'm not sure how i'm feeling about the title lol
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In my copious free time (trying to stay awake at 3am) I've put together my personal fancast for an adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion. I adore the '95 Persuasion (and really want to watch the '07 adaptation because I love Sally Hawkins and Anthony Head). Everything I've read about the '22 movie makes me ~not~ want to see it. So here's my list!
Frederick Wentworth: John Boyega
Anne Elliot: Bessie Carter
Mary Musgrove and Elizabeth Elliott: Jenny Richardson and Jodie Comer
Sir Walter Elliot: Daniel Craig
Lady Russell: Parminder Nagra
Sophia Croft and Admiral Croft: Wunmi Mosaku and Toby Stephens
⟢ "I don't like you." - "You baked me cookies." - "They're poison cookies." - "They're snickerdoodles." - "Poison snickerdoodles." - "You've had four." - "Building immunity."
⟢ "Stop being nice to me, I have a reputation."
⟢ "I've added you to my list." - "Of?" - "People I dislike." - "Am I top five." - "Top three." - "Honestly where I want to be."
⟢ "You saved my life." - "Don't make it weird." - "You literally jumped in front of a—" - "Don't. Make it. Weird."
⟢ "I brought you medicine." - "Why." - "Because you're sick." - "Let me be sick in peace." - "You were groaning loud enough for the whole building to hear." - "That's called suffering with flair." - "Take the medicine." - "Fine. This changes nothing." - "Obviously." - "I still don't like you." - "Mhm." - "Thank you." - "Don't mention it. Literally ever."
⟢ "You laughed at my joke." - "I did not." - "You did, I heard it." - "That was a cough." - "For three seconds?" - "I have a long cough." - "You're the worst liar I've ever met." - "I hate you." - "You literally just laughed again." - "COUGH."
⟢ "We should kiss just to see if it would be as annoying as everything else about you." - "That's the worst proposition I've ever heard." - "Is that a no." - "It's an I'll think about it." - "...okay." - "Okay." - "So." - "So." - "This is still not me liking you." - "Obviously." - "Just to be clear." - "Crystal." - "Okay." - "Yeah." - "Well." - "Yeah."
⟢ "Stop looking at me like that." - "Like what." - "Like you've figured something out." - "I have figured something out." - "Well stop."
⟢ "My nemesis brought me coffee." - "I'm not your nemesis." - "My nemesis knows my exact order." - "That's called paying attention." - "To your nemesis." - "To someone extremely irritating who I'm forced to spend time with." - "You asked to be partnered with me." - "The point still stands."
⟢ "I don't want to like you." - "How's that going." - "Terribly. You?" - "About the same honestly." - "Great." - "Yeah." - "This is a disaster." - "Complete catastrophe." - "So what do we do." - "I have absolutely no idea." - "Cool cool cool."
⟢ "You're the most annoying person alive." - "Top five things you've said that sounded like I love you."
⟢ "I made you food." - "I'm not eating that." - "Why not." - "Because last week you said you wanted me dead." - "I say a lot of things. I made you soup." - "...is it good." - "Obviously it's good, I made it." - "Fine. This is a ceasefire not a treaty." - "Eat the soup." - "I'm eating it, calm down."
⟢ "Why do you always have to be right." - "I don't always have to be." - "And yet." - "It's a gift really." - "It's incredibly annoying is what it is." - "You're smiling." - "I'm grimacing." - "Adorably." - "Take that back." - "Nope."
⟢ "You remembered my birthday." - "I remember lots of things." - "You got me a cake." - "Cakes are normal." - "It's my favorite flavor." - "I pay attention." - "To me specifically." - "To lots of people." - "Name one other person whose birthday you remembered this year." - "..." - "That's what I thought." - "This proves nothing." - "It proves everything and you know it."
⟢ "I think about you a lot." - "In a I want to destroy you way?" - "Started that way." - "And now." - "Less destroy, more—I don't know. Different." - "Different." - "Yeah." - "That's terrifying." - "I know." - "I also think about you." - "Yeah?" - "Started the same way." - "And now." - "Also different." - "Huh." - "Yeah." - "So." - "So."
And I was out sick the day they forced everyone to program their Chromebooks into not allowing tumblr, so I could still secretly access tumblr the entire rest of high school. (I joined because apparently that was where the Tom Hiddleston fans were. Which was correct.)
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so jane austen was inspired by much ado when writing pride and prejudice and of course she’s brilliant and i love her version of the plot and her very original characters. i mean it’s almost unrecognizable because it’s so original. which is why i love her. she took inspiration from the bare bone plot of much ado with the two couples, and then rooted all their problems in her own time period. it would have been so modern and fresh to read it right when it was published!!
but anyway what i’m trying to say is that i would love to live in a universe where i could see jane and bingley play pranks on lizzie and darcy in a hero and claudio type style. it’s just comedy gold.
Sorry for the rant OP, but this is one of my FAVORITE lit crit topics:
I have written on here many times how much I LOVE that Pride and Prejudice is an adaptation of Much Ado in a kind of stretchy, fanfic-AU sort of way. Austen definitely used the same characters and their dynamics with one another, but she actively adapted the story by giving them all interesting, English Regency versions of their Renaissance Tuscany/London challenges.
My favorite thing is that you see similarities in a) the scandal of an affair with the heroine’s unwed family member, and b) the willingness of the heroine’s “bitter rival” (Benedick/Darcy) to go far beyond what’s expected of him to save her family’s reputation, even when it might hurt his own
In her adaptation, Austen proposes that even if Beatrice/Elizabeth’s family member DID have an extramarital affair, Benedick/Darcy would still be morally obliged to help the family. This differs from Shakespeare, where Benedick believes that Hero is innocent. Sex scandals are therefore key elements in both plots, but Austen really pushes the original narrative to explore what the characters would do if the family member wasn’t innocent and the sex scandal was real. Would Benedick still have the same sense of duty to remedy the situation at great inconvenience/loss to himself? Would that duty be based in his love for Beatrice, or in his sense of ethics? Would Beatrice and Benedick have even fallen in love without their family’s interference?
So like, not only is P&P a wonderful (and very funny) adaptation of Much Ado, it’s also a refreshing, explicit exploration of the themes and issues Shakespeare clearly wanted to introduce to his 16th century audience. P&P doesn’t get to the violent, verbal extremes of “eat his heart in a marketplace” and “kill Claudio,” but it does push the character of Benedick to much more agency and responsibility as a privileged person in relation to Beatrice’s own (lack of) power. And to me, that makes it an exceptionally challenging and effective Regency adaptation of Much Ado.
(But ignore my meta-izing. Let’s talk about what’s really important: Austen preserving the comedy GOLD of suggesting that Benedick/Darcy is painfully in love with Beatrice/Lizzy from the very beginning, and also fucking furious with himself about it)
Obviously it's not one to one, but if we consider the Hero/Claudio storyline, Austen split it into two couples and made it way more realistic (in my opinion)
Jane and Bingley represent the Hero/Claudio "love at first sight" and "separated by machinations" sections, but come to a much more satisfying conclusion because Bingley's folly is based on modesty. He never turns on Jane, as Claudio does, instead he leaves her, but out of a belief that she doesn't love him and therefore wouldn't be harmed by it. Their happy ending is happy to (most) of the audience.
The defence of honour plot, Claudio doing wrong by Hero leading to her social doom and her being defended by Benedick, is all transferred to the trickster, Wickham (Don John?) and his victim Lydia (the other half of Hero). The solution still is marriage, but we are not left with this ambiguous nagging wonder if it's ever possible for Hero/Claudio to be happy, we know Wickham/Lydia is a bad marriage, but that Elizabeth & Jane will help their sister and she'll be okay.
I think if Much Ado About Nothing does have a flaw, it's that Claudio doesn't have his heart eaten in the marketplace. That flaw exists in Pride & Prejudice too, to be honest, but Claudio as Wickham doesn't get what he wanted. He has his ambitions of a wealthy match ruined by Darcy. For me, the ending isn't as uncomfortable, because no one is trying to pretend it's a happy one.
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
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