Too Many Fandoms lol

Found this swan while scrolling Ebay one day… I think it was about 160 bucks. “Beautiful handcarved goose or swan”. It be damn thicc doe.

It does more colors, too. have a side-hustle carving Tolkien’s dwarvish into labradorite, and let me tell you the day the stones get here in the mail is a day lost to contemplation of the crystalline divinity of labradorescence.

Case in point, look at all these different things that are dragons:

Upon further thought, my tentative criteria for draconic eligibility are that a dragon must have at least two of these traits:

big

snakey

firebreathing

And people who are like “is a chicken a dragon”

No, obviously not–it is neither large enough nor snakey enough nor magical enough. I am willing to concede that dragons may have other breath weapons and that perhaps “magical” is a better qualifier than “firebreathing,” but I agree wholeheartedly with @glumshoe​ that:

breathing fire isn’t a requirement for dragons, as in there are lots of dragons that can’t breathe fire. but breathing fire is so distinctly draconian that if something does breathes fire it is almost certainly a dragon.

To summarize: if you slap a pair of wings on most animals, it doesn’t automatically make them dragons. Take this wolf, for example.

There are wolflike dragons, sure, but what is the minimum amount of modification you can make to turn something into a dragon? Just adding wings to it won’t make it a dragon.

That’s just a wolf with wings. That guy would have to be absolutely colossal and breathe fire to qualify as a dragon. You have to make it SNAKEY, like this:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

the largest swan species of all is the Trumpeter Swan and they are FUCKING HUGE

Cuviers’s Beaked Whale is the most widely distributed of the beaked whales and looks like a 20-foot long Bottlenose Dolphin with an attitude problem.

they eat squid and pretty much only squid, which they dive to great depths for. a Cuvier’s Beaked Whale with a radio tracker set the all-time record for an unassisted airbreather dive when it descended to nearly 10,000 feet, or almost two miles, and stayed there for two hours. 

the Texas Blind Snake looks exactly like an earthworm until you pick it up and notice that it has a tiny mouth, with which to scream

made by my friend normal_kermit__ on instagram

TWO FOR HORRID JOY

THREE FOR DAWNING REGRET