Fic by fancywaffles

Shen Yuan cleared his throat. “Not that it’s not… an honor to meet you, Demon Lord.” He was momentarily distracted by the small quirk of Tianlang-jun’s eyebrows that made it clear how much his eyes resembled Luo Binghe’s. “I would like to know why I’m here.”

Shen Yuan noted Luo Binghe’s absence. There didn’t even seem to be a chair reserved for him.

(Please don’t be a wife plot for Binghe’s dad. Was this his punishment for getting turned on by the demon fangs? It wasn’t universal!)

“I didn’t want my son to be worried about his wife while we razed Huan Hua Palace,” Tianlang-jun said, turning his head towards the food like that was any sort of casual statement and grabbing a piece of fruit off his plate.

“Wife?” Shen Yuan’s voice cracked before the second part of that sentence registered. “Wait, what, you can’t — you’re going to raze Huan Hua Palace?”

(Also wife????)

“That reminds me,” Tianlang-jun said, chewing on the piece of fruit that seemed to have a meaty like texture based on how long it took him. “Zhuzhi-lang, go see what’s taking my generals so long to respond.”

The snake demon, Zhuzhi-lang nodded and went off in the other direction. Apparently he was a general errand demon.

“You can’t raze Huan Hua Palace!” Shen Yuan said.

“Why not?” Tianlang-jun asked, like he was curious and interested in having a debate about moral philosophy.

“Because people live there!” Shen Yuan exclaimed. Not to mention his brother was there.

Tianlang-jun stared at him blankly, because… demon.

Shen Yuan was already in a sour mood when the front door to the Warm Red Pavilion blasted off the hinges like some overzealous donghua hero entrance. 

He had barely gotten any sleep last night, because some cultivator got into a fight with another patron (A-Jiu or Jiu-er depending on if the gossip came from the Jiejies or the Madam). It was the middle of the week and there were no big events near Yeohung that would lead to much traffic. It was supposed to be a break in the hellish nightmare of existence Shen Yuan had transmigrated into where he could sit down and read a book. 

And maybe being a formerly spoiled second-gen rich twenty something now in a slightly better than street kid thirteen year old body hadn’t helped his attitude. 

So Shen Yuan stomped right past Dan-jie and her pipa making a break for it and into the line of fire without really thinking through anything.

“Don’t cultivators know how to knock?” Shen Yuan snapped. 

Both cultivators (Dan-jie’s client dressed in inner robes and the other one in slim fitting white and blue ones) turned towards him. 

The one who wasn’t a client was… weirdly pretty for a man, but that didn’t stop his face from morphing into disgust which Shen Yuan didn’t realize wasn’t directed at him until he looked over at Dan-jie’s client like he was actually scum on his shoe. “A child?”

The client (who Shen Yuan was not going to call ‘A-Jiu’ out loud even if he looked younger than Shen Yuan before he’d died) looked like he might actually kill the other cultivator for that remark.

Shen Yuan just laughed, it was a rough, tired, caustic laugh, but it was enough to draw both their attention. He stared up at the pretty boy cultivator and held up the smelly bucket he’d been hauling around. “Wow, the stunning logic of Master Cultivators! Surely, I must be here to seduce Xiuzhe with my bucket full of inedible kitchen scraps I was planning on taking to the neighbor to feed their chickens until you broke the door.” 

Shen Yuan scowled and gestured with the bucket. “Unless there’s some immediate danger of a ghost or demon eating half the jiejies, I don’t know why you think it’s okay to just charge in here and start yelling all sorts of rude things or beating up people who paid to be here!” 

Not that he had any particular fondness for people who paid to be there, but Shen Yuan was unfortunately familiar with how buying out a contract worked even if he wasn’t doing the job of a courtesan. Madam Cao certainly wasn’t going to take the price of the door out of her own paycheck. 

Pretty man cultivator’s eyebrows had been slowly descending downwards and seemed to be at their limit. “I was defending my shidi.” 

Shen Yuan’s scowl did not improve. “Your ‘shidi’s’ virtue can be saved without breaking the door just dock his allowance.”

“Thinking about Master Liu?” Lai Wen guessed. She laughed the moment Shen Yuan’s face started to feel hot. “I thought you weren’t taking any clients.”

“He’s not a client!” Shen Yuan swatted her arm and refocused on the paper in front of him so he didn’t have to look at her. “I don’t know what he is.”

“Is he courting you?” her voice was too keen. He did not want to talk about this with her, but he also didn’t want to talk about this with Fu Wei. There was really no winning in this situation.

“I…think so?” Shen Yuan looked up at her and realized he did want to talk to someone about this.

Liu Qingge had gone off for a Night Hunt for a few days but said he'd be back after—not to his peak, but back in the city (when Shen Yuan asked if he had to go back to his peak anytime soon, Liu Qingge had scoffed and then didn’t elaborate). Over the last couple of weeks he’d also escorted Shen Yuan to the least romantic outings ever—even if they were really fun. There was more sword practice than anything else, but Liu Qingge did let Shen Yuan show him around the city a bit and stop at some of the restaurants he’d discovered over the last year.

Liu Qingge wasn’t the best conversationalist (unless the topic was killing monsters) or foodie, but he was good company. They’d discussed his upcoming Night Hunt and what beasts he might encounter, going so far as Shen Yuan dragging him to look at bestiaries in the bookshop.

“He hasn’t tried to hold my hand or — he kissed my cheek once?” Shen Yuan wasn’t sure if Liu Qingge was trying to respect his boundaries or wasn’t interested in that aspect of things. He might have broached the topic but Shen Yuan wasn't sure if he was interested in those things either — except the more time he spent with Liu Qingge, the more he was starting to think he might be.

“Both of your faces are a waste,” Lai Wen said, scowling. “A waste! Why look that pretty and do nothing with it?”

“I have done plenty with it,” Shen Yuan retorted. “This the first time I might… want to do something with it.”

He at least wanted to try kissing him. On the lips. Both of their lips this time. Shen Yuan didn’t know how to initiate that. None of his previous experience involved making the first move! Or… any move really.

“Have you ever seduced someone, Shifu?” Lai Wen asked him, carefully.

She could not read his mind. He knew that, but had to reassure himself at the moment. “You and I worked in the same brothel.”

“Mn,” Lai Wen agreed. “And I never saw you approach a client. You played the guqin and the pipa, painted pretty pictures, and they came to you.”

“That’s…” Shen Yuan blinked and folded his hands in his sleeves. “Is that not how we all do it?”

“A waste,” Lai Wen said again, this time more irate. “How are you teaching here?”

“I’m not teaching you how to make a sales pitch — the clients come to us!” Shen Yuan might have helped explain the benefits and particulars of what they were doing when the Huan Hua Palace representatives came by, but he didn’t lure anyone in. They didn’t need to. It was a service deeply needed in this ‘fuck or die’ hellscape of a setting.

“The young prince seems troubled,” Zhuzhi-lang said. “Was your encounter with Shen Yuan not as expected?”

Luo Binghe frowned at him. “When did I say I was doing anything to do with him?”

Zhuzhi-lang shifted on his feet. “This humble servant was under the impression the young prince has been stalking him for several months.” He reacted to the responding glare with a step back. “There were also… reports.”

“Oh, the human boy from the mountain cultivation sect?” Tianlang-jun had horrifyingly put down his book and was actively engaged now.

Luo Binghe always assumed there had been some gossip and details of his life that made it home, but this level of scrutiny was more than he’d guessed.

“Shen Yuan has been at Huan Hua Palace for a year now, my lord,” Zhuzhi-lang replied.

Tianlang-jun seemed a bit put out. “My son, do you need us to move him before we destroy the Huan Hua Palace? That may take preparation.”

Luo Binghe was deeply regretting not giving A-Yuan his blood now. “I was not aware that was the plan.”

“Minor details,” Tianlang-jun said, waving a hand dismissively. He leaned back on his throne again. “Bing-er was very fond of him from what I recall.” He gestured with the book in his hand. “Have you made your intentions known?”

[Congratulations! Protagonist quest completion has upgraded Host’s status from NPC to ICA (Important Character Arc!) — Please standby for more information!]

What the hell does that mean? Sha Yuan said to it, but it was apparently still ‘on standby’. 

He was still mulling this over hours later as he watched the children run around the gardens ‘training’ their techniques. Sha Hualing, Liu Mingyan, and Ning Yingying were nearby having tea and discussing something that sounded vaguely interesting so he tried to shake off his confusion about the System notification.

“A-Luo said it wasn’t a qi deviation,” Ning Yingying said, firmly but still with a sweet softness. 

“He hasn’t had one since he conquered Xin Mo,” Liu Mingyan agreed.

Sha Hualing scoffed. “How else do you explain his strange behavior? He was crying.”

“It’s fine to cry,” Ning Yingying said, agreeably.

Liu Mingyan’s face was covered in her customary veil but her eyes tightened and Sha Yuan suspected she was frowning. “He was asking odd things.”

“Exactly,” Sha Hualing said, preening at being agreed with. “It was like a completely different husband. He was repulsed when Qin Wanyue offered to dual cultivate with him.” She sounded a bit too pleased about that last bit.

“He had objections to anyone offering,” Ning Yingying pointed out, but she did frown too. Then she noticed Sha Yuan’s blatant eavesdropping. “Ah, A-Yuan wasn't here for it were you?”

Sha Yuan shook his head. “I’ve been in the Western Frost-Hills for the last two months.” 

The three wives looked at each other. Sha Hualing opened her mouth to speak and Liu Mingyan kicked her. Knowing his cousin and the kinds of things she said, that was probably for the best. 

“Our husband recently had a couple of days… where he was very confused,” Liu Mingyan said, ignoring Sha Hualing’s whining as she rubbed her shin.

“He kept asking for our Shizun,” Ning Yingying said, staring into her teacup. 

“And now he’s been fucking men,” Sha Hualing added, killing any sort of morose tension.

Sha Yuan choked, coughing into his hand. 

“Openly,” Liu Mingyan corrected. “We don’t know that he wasn’t before.”

“A man in the harem could make things a little more interesting,” Sha Hualing agreed. “Better than yet another village girl too stupid to make her way out of a clear trap.”

“Ahhh, A-Yuan’s face is red,” Ning Yingying said, cheerful again. “Even his ears.”

“I’m going to go teach your children,” Sha Yuan said, flustered and trying to ignore their laughter as he dragged himself to his feet. 

Luo Binghe glanced over at the sleeping form of his husband, the now familiar view still not having lost its charm. Sha Yuan had forgotten to do anything with his hair before he went to bed so it was a tangled mess that would need to be washed. It meant Luo Binghe could take him to the baths this morning, spread his fingers through the smooth strands and luxuriate in the simplicity of how relaxed Sha Yuan always was when he carded his fingers through it.

He kissed his husband’s bare shoulder and smiled at the answering grumble of annoyance.

“It’s morning,” Luo Binghe pointed out.

“Your morning and my morning are very different,” Sha Yuan groused, face still half into his own pillow.

Luo Binghe hummed and moved some of the long mess of hair that was blanketing the side of Sha Yuan’s face. He traced his finger over the slope and pointed tip of his husband’s ear and lowered his voice. “This Lord will make his husband breakfast.”

Sha Yuan’s eyes cracked open very slightly, the darkness of them hidden by even darker eyelashes, but the easy affection impossible to hide. “This husband is amenable.”

Luo Binghe leaned down and kissed him, laughing as Sha Yuan protested ‘morning breath’ before inevitably giving in kissing him back more deeply.

Shen Yuan was already in a sour mood when the front door to the Warm Red Pavilion blasted off the hinges like some overzealous donghua hero entrance. 

He had barely gotten any sleep last night, because some cultivator got into a fight with another patron (A-Jiu or Jiu-er depending on if the gossip came from the Jiejies or the Madam). It was the middle of the week and there were no big events near Yeohung that would lead to much traffic. It was supposed to be a break in the hellish nightmare of existence Shen Yuan had transmigrated into where he could sit down and read a book. 

And maybe being a formerly spoiled second-gen rich twenty something now in a slightly better than street kid thirteen year old body hadn’t helped his attitude. 

So Shen Yuan stomped right past Dan-jie and her pipa making a break for it and into the line of fire without really thinking through anything.

“Don’t cultivators know how to knock?” Shen Yuan snapped. 

Both cultivators (Dan-jie’s client dressed in inner robes and the other one in slim fitting white and blue ones) turned towards him. 

The one who wasn’t a client was… weirdly pretty for a man, but that didn’t stop his face from morphing into disgust which Shen Yuan didn’t realize wasn’t directed at him until he looked over at Dan-jie’s client like he was actually scum on his shoe. “A child?”

The client (who Shen Yuan was not going to call ‘A-Jiu’ out loud even if he looked younger than Shen Yuan before he’d died) looked like he might actually kill the other cultivator for that remark.

Shen Yuan just laughed, it was a rough, tired, caustic laugh, but it was enough to draw both their attention. He stared up at the pretty boy cultivator and held up the smelly bucket he’d been hauling around. “Wow, the stunning logic of Master Cultivators! Surely, I must be here to seduce Xiuzhe with my bucket full of inedible kitchen scraps I was planning on taking to the neighbor to feed their chickens until you broke the door.” 

Shen Yuan scowled and gestured with the bucket. “Unless there’s some immediate danger of a ghost or demon eating half the jiejies, I don’t know why you think it’s okay to just charge in here and start yelling all sorts of rude things or beating up people who paid to be here!” 

Not that he had any particular fondness for people who paid to be there, but Shen Yuan was unfortunately familiar with how buying out a contract worked even if he wasn’t doing the job of a courtesan. Madam Cao certainly wasn’t going to take the price of the door out of her own paycheck. 

Pretty man cultivator’s eyebrows had been slowly descending downwards and seemed to be at their limit. “I was defending my shidi.” 

Shen Yuan’s scowl did not improve. “Your ‘shidi’s’ virtue can be saved without breaking the door just dock his allowance.”

Shen Yuan was not deliriously happy but he was something else he hadn’t felt in a while. Smug. He was smug and he had forgotten how good it felt to be so. He loved proving idiots wrong.

“Should I take by that smile we do not actually have to close our doors today?” Fu Wei asked with her own (less smug more knowing) smile.

“I didn’t even have to spend two days at the hall of records this time,” Shen Yuan said, brightly.

The bullshit ‘zoning’ issue that had been concocted as another attempt to get under the skin of the Twin Dahlia Garden owners crashed and burned like the rest of them. For the most part, attempts to sabotage their business had tapered off, but since they were doing well, there had been a few more attempts recently. It wasn’t like they were stealing anyone else’s coin. Hua Yue City was ripe with rich patrons who could find their pleasures elsewhere. There were plenty of brothels for any kind of pocket in a city this grand.

Shen Yuan had countered each one of these attempts with the true golden finger weapon—the most stringent irritating bureaucracy he could find. It was very difficult to mess with someone who would read the full terms of service (or PIDW) purely out of spite.

“Minister Han came by earlier today,” Fu Wei mentioned, oh so casually, ruining his smug mood.

Shen Yuan grimaced. “Again?”

Minister Han had visited during one of the nights Shen Yuan performed in the entertainment lounge. The high ranking official had been unduly annoyed when his request for services hadn’t been catered to and something about him rubbed Shen Yuan the wrong way.

“Mn,” Fu Wei said. “Song Peng offered services, but the minister did not take to him.”

“Of course not, Song Peng offered. Where’s the enticement in that?” Shen Yuan rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was a shame they couldn’t risk banning the minister when he hadn’t actually done anything to earn it. Minister Han was too highly ranked to fuck with the way Shen Yuan wanted to, especially if as he hadn’t done anything overt.

“Do you truly believe that is the only reason he’s interested in you?” Fu Wei asked, raising an eyebrow.

Not this again. Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, happy for the freedom to do so. He didn’t have to be elegant or alluring and he definitely wasn’t. Excepting on nights he played downstairs, Shen Yuan was happy wearing commonplace boring robes, nothing on his face, and tying his hair in the world’s laziest braid. He could walk through the market with not a single look his way. It was freeing.

If he’d met Minister Han when he looked like this maybe this could’ve all been avoided. He wouldn’t have been irritated by the ‘no’ if he hadn’t asked the question in the first place.

Thankfully Shen Yuan was saved from another round of ‘but A-Yuan, you’re so pretty’ which never led anywhere good. Lai Wen, one of the jiejies who had come over from the Merry Lotus Blossom was waving him down. He went towards her, avoiding a couple of blushing cultivators dressed in Huan Hua Palace robes, diverting their gazes as he passed.