alexandra

READ IT OUT LOUD

2hollis x reader smutshot

content info: mdni, fem!reader, bestfriend!hollis, oral (f receiving), fingering, soft dom energy, edging

authors note: i know i´ve been gone + you´ve been waiting (i´m sorryyyy). consider this my peace offering. i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. thank you for still being here <3

-

he knows everything about you. every summer trip, your favorite color, that you still hate sleeping with the door fully closed. he knows you’ll complain about your screen time and then scroll for another hour anyway.

what he was never supposed to know is what you’ve been writing about him.

you and hollis have been best friends for as long as you can remember. you grew up side by side. there’s never been anything awkward between you. nothing too embarrassing to say out loud. nothing you wouldn’t tell him. until -

he changed.

somewhere between late nights and growing up, the loud, reckless boy turned into a man. and unfortunately for you, exactly the kind of man your fantasies seem to revolve around. tall. broad shoulders. hands that look unfairly good resting on a steering wheel. he works out now. his hair’s longer, blond falling into his eyes when he laughs. and his voice. god. it got deeper. slower. and now every time he says your name, it feels dangerous.

you couldn’t tell anyone. maybe because admitting it out loud would make it real. so you wrote it down instead. page after page. thoughts you swore were just temporary. just hormones. just a phase. you told yourself that putting it in ink would move it out of your head. that if it lived in the diary, it wouldn’t live in you anymore.

you were wrong.

there are pages about him now. too many. about the way he hugs you a second too long. about the way you wonder what would happen if he didn’t let go. about things you shouldn’t be thinking about your best friend. at least, you thought, your words were safe here.

you were supposed to meet today. and, like always, you missed your bus. hollis already knew the pattern. that’s why he’d gone ahead and let himself in. you’d exchanged spare keys years ago. practical, you said. for vacations. emergencies. moments like this.

knowing he’s already at your place waiting for you sends a wave of butterflies through your stomach that you instantly feel embarrassed about. it’s just hollis. it fades. at least you hope it does.

you rest your head against the bus window and watch the city blur past. not much longer. just a few more stops and you’ll be home. the bus pulls up on your street. you mumble a quick thanks to the driver and step off, walking the familiar path to your apartment building.

you unlock the door, kick off your shoes, shrug out of your jacket, already smiling to yourself. you head down the hallway toward your room, that stupid excited feeling still sitting warm in your chest. and then you open the door.

the warmth drops. hollis is sitting on your bed. not relaxed. just sitting there. his expression isn’t the one you’re used to. not playful. not teasing. and in his lap -

fuck.

your diary. wide open.

you don’t even know what to do. the shock is written all over your face. "please tell me you didn’t read that." hollis smiles. distant. unreadable. "why?" he asks calmly. "what would i find in there?" you know that look. your breath stutters. "…you read it." - "maybe."

anger flickers through the embarrassment. "it’s a fucking diary, hollis. i don’t know if you’ve heard, but you’re not supposed to read those." he raises an eyebrow slowly, studying you. "for something i wasn’t supposed to read, my name shows up a lot." your throat tightens. you’re still standing there, rooted to the spot. "you never told me you think about me like that." -  "hollis-" - "close the door."

you hesitate for a few seconds. then you do it. you’re so thrown off you don’t even question why.  he looks back down at the page. "okay," he says casually. "october eleventh." your stomach drops. "his voice got so deep. i wish he’d say my name more often." he glances up at you with a crooked smile. "is that so… y/n?" your name leaves his mouth slower than usual. deeper. deliberate. you feel it low in your stomach before you can stop yourself. "stop it." - "no."

 he keeps reading.

"october sixteenth. hollis drove me home today and i realized how good his hands look on the steering wheel. i wish they were on me instead." your pulse pounds in your ears. you step toward him, trying to snatch the diary away. he moves it out of reach effortlessly. "no, no, no." he murmurs. "we’re just getting to the good part." 

you end up standing between his knees without meaning to. he clears his throat softly, eyes dragging up your body. still holding your gaze, he sets the diary aside for a moment. slowly his hands slide to your waist. they move down, settling on your hips, fingers tightening just enough to pull you closer. your breath catches. his face is close to your stomach now, lips hovering just above the waistband of your jeans. but his eyes never leave yours. 

"do you want me to touch you like this?" he asks quietly. you’re breathing heavier now, barely processing that this is real. before you can answer, before you can even decide if you should push him away, he lets go. just like that. leans back. picks the diary up again. you feel dizzy. "so," he says softly. and he turns the page.

"october twenty second." he reads. your stomach twists. "hollis joked today that i could sit on his lap at the house party if we ran out of space. i haven’t stopped thinking about it since. i kind of hope it’s too crowded tonight so it actually happens." he looks up at you slowly.

you lean forward, trying to grab the diary again. "that’s enough."

"well." he says lightly, leaning back. "guess there weren’t enough people that night." - "you didn’t mean it." you snap, heat rising in your face. "you were joking." - "was i?" he leans back a little further, spreading his knees just slightly. you glance down, then back up, confused.

"sit down." he says calmly. "and find out if i meant it." - "wha-" his hands are already on your hips again. confident. he guides you down slowly, deliberately, until you’re straddling his lap. your breath catches.

"seems like i did mean it." he murmurs, looking up at you. "don’t you think?" that look on his face is new. not the teasing best friend. not the easy smile you grew up with. something heavier. more aware. you suddenly realize how much tension has been building between you. does he feel it too?

his hands stay on your hips. not gripping hard. just holding you there like he doesn’t plan on letting you go. "keep reading." he says softly, nudging the diary back toward you. "what?" - "you wrote it," he replies. "read it."

you hesitate. "you are out of your mind, hollis." he raises a brow. "unless you didn’t mean that part either." your fingers tremble slightly as you take the diary from him. you don’t miss how his hands stay at your waist while you hold it open. you scan the page. your throat goes dry. "read it out loud." he says quietly. "hollis…" his thumbs press gently into your hips. "out. loud." you swallow.

"…sometimes i think about kissing him." you read, voice barely steady. "about knowing what he tastes like. about if he´d kiss me back. if he’d kiss me slow or if he’d lose control."

you can feel his breathing shift beneath you. "go on." he murmurs. "i want to know what his lips feels like." you whisper. "if he’d let me touch him the way i think about." your voice falters. you look at him. his eyes are darker now. focused. "so," he says softly. "you want to know what i taste like... y/n?”

your heart pounds against your ribs. you try to look away. his hand slides up from your waist to your jaw, guiding your face back toward his. "you don’t get to write about it" he murmurs, thumb brushing lightly along your lower lip. "and then pretend you don’t want it." your breath shakes. "tell me to stop." you don’t. his lips hover just inches from yours. "say it."

you let your eyes drop to his lips first. slowly. then back up to his eyes. dark, focused, almost devouring. there’s something in the way he’s looking at you that makes your chest tighten. like he’s been starving and you just handed him what he needed.

you lean in. playful. dangerously close. your noses brush. his breathing shifts. his eyes fall shut, just barely, like he already knows what’s coming. and right before your lips meet, you stop. your lips hover against his. your voice barely more than a breath when you speak. "you don’t get to embarrass me for wanting you." you murmur softly against his mouth. "when you want the exact same thing."

he stills. his eyes open again, searching yours. measuring. "the fact that you’re letting this happen" you continue, fingers lightly tracing the collar of his shirt, "means you think about it too. i know you wouldn’t risk us like this if you didn’t." his grip on your hip tightens. not rough just like he needs something to hold onto.

for a second, he looks like he’s about to argue. then he bites his lip instead. and that alone feels like a confession. "you really think i haven’t been trying not to?" he says quietly. your breath catches. "you think i didn’t notice the way you look at me?" his thumb presses into your waist, slow and deliberate. "you think it didn’t mess with me too?" his forehead rests against yours. "i tried to ignore it." he admits. "because you’re my best friend. because losing you would ruin me." the softness in his voice hits harder than anything physical could. "but god,” he exhales, a quiet, almost helpless laugh slipping out. "every time you hug me and don’t let go right away, every time you sit a little too close… you have no idea what that does to me.”

your hands slide up his chest without thinking. "i was scared" you whisper. "i thought if i said it out loud, it would ruin everything." - "it already ruined me" he says, looking up at you. "just in a different way."

there’s no teasing left now. no distance. just honesty: raw and warm and terrifying. his hands move again, slower this time, sliding up your sides beneath the hem of your shirt just enough for his fingers to graze warm skin. not greedy. not rushed. like he’s waited a long time for permission.

your breath shivers when his thumbs trace the curve of your waist. he watches your reaction closely and smiles a little. "did you write about this?" his voice drops. "about how it would feel?" your cheeks burn, but you don’t look away.

"maybe." you whisper. his mouth curves slightly. "yeah?" his hands slide lower, deliberate, exploring the line of your body. "did you write about how i’d touch you?"

your thoughts are spiraling. you didn’t expect this. not the confession. not hearing pieces of your diary spoken out loud like they were real, like they were allowed to exist outside of ink and paper. his grip tightens just slightly and you can’t help the small smile that slips onto your lips. "hollis-" - "no." he cuts in softly. "tell me. does it say that in your diary?"

you bite your lip before meeting his eyes again. "there’s worse in there." you don’t even know where the confidence comes from. but the second the words leave your mouth, you know it was the right move. because his hands slide to your sides and, in one smooth motion, he guides you back onto the bed. not rough. not rushed. and suddenly he’s above you.

looking down at you exactly the way you’d imagined. the way you’d written about. and he sees it in your face, the way it affects you. the way your breathing changes. he likes this position. likes the control. likes what it does to you.

carefully, he takes your hands in his and lifts them above your head. instinctively, your chest arches toward him. "how much worse?" he asks quietly. his fingers move from your hands to your wrists, pressing them gently but firmly into the mattress. your voice trembles. "i wrote that i wanted you over me like this." - "oh really?" - "mhm." you nod, holding his gaze. "just… without clothes."

you see it happen. the way his eyes darken. the way his body shifts closer, pressing more firmly against you. and for the first time, you really feel him.

you feel how hard he is for you. he wants you to notice. wants you to understand exactly where this is going. wants you to know you could still stop it. right now. but your words say otherwise.

he tilts his head slightly, studying you. "sweetheart." he murmurs, voice low and teasing now, "you’ve seen me almost naked before. what’s so different about that?" he’s playing with you. obviously. but he wants to hear it. wants to hear what he does to you. "you know that’s not the same," you whisper. "you’ve never touched me like this. that changes everything." - "does it?" he murmurs.

he doesn’t release your wrists as he lowers his mouth to your neck. your pulse is racing beneath his lips. he brushes against your skin slowly at first. just the ghost of a touch. then the first kiss lands. your heart stumbles in your chest.

"did you write about this too?" he asks softly against your skin. "mhm" you breathe, letting the sound come out just a little more like a moan than you intended. you feel the effect instantly. his breath hits your ear. "fuck." he exhales under his breath before kissing your neck again. deeper this time. his body shifts between your legs, pressing closer. harder. the friction impossible to ignore now. the kisses grow less patient. so does the grip on your wrists. not painful. just hungry.

"you have no idea how many times i’ve thought about having you like this, y/n." he braces himself above you, looking down. his gaze drifts from your eyes to your slightly parted lips and back again. "i didn’t even realize how much i wanted you until now." he adds quietly. he leans down slowly, pausing for half a second. one last glance up at you, like he’s asking without words.

then he kisses you. at first it’s careful. slow. testing. and then it deepens. his lips grow more demanding, more hungry, and the way he takes his time before really claiming the kiss makes your entire body light up. butterflies explode through you as he kisses you so unbelievably well. exactly the way you imagined in your diary. maybe even better.

the kiss turns messy, intense. he grows bolder, and suddenly his tongue is in your mouth, slow and deliberate, pulling a soft sound from your throat before you can stop it. he breaks away for just a second, breath heavy. "you taste so good, y/n." he mutters. "fuck. why didn’t we do this sooner?" you give him a breathless smile. "doesn’t matter. just don’t stop now."

something shifts in his expression. he releases your wrists and sits up slightly. the sudden loss of his warmth sends a shiver across your skin. "holl-" - "shh." slowly, he moves down the bed, settling himself between your legs. his head stops just above the waistband of your jeans. his hands glide along your sides again. "can i?" he asks quietly.

your heart is pounding everywhere at once. you nod, already feeling like this must be what heaven feels like. carefully, he hooks his fingers into your jeans and panties, sliding them down your legs and tossing them behind him without breaking eye contact for long. then he looks up at you from below, fingers brushing slowly along the inside of your thighs. "did you write about this too?"

heat floods your face as you nod. a crooked, almost wicked grin spreads across his mouth as he leans closer. you feel his warm breath against you and your stomach flips. he keeps his eyes on yours when he presses the first soft kiss there. slow. intentional.

you let out a quiet moan, and the sound of it visibly affects him. you can see it in his jaw, in the way his breathing changes. then he drags his tongue slowly upward, tasting you fully. "fuck." he mutters under his breath. "didn’t know you needed me this much." - "enough to write half a book about you." you manage.

he huffs a quiet laugh. "listen." he says, eyes flicking up to yours again. "i’m gonna do whatever i want to you. and you tell me if i go off script." he gives you a quick wink and before you can even respond, two of his fingers slide inside you. your moan is louder this time.

he moves with confidence, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. the sensation is overwhelming in the best way, your body tightening around him as he curls his fingers slightly. he feels it. and he doesn’t slow down.

instead, he lowers his head again, tongue circling your clit slowly, building the pressure while his fingers move inside you in steady rhythm. your vision blurs. for a second he comes back up to kiss you again. messy, heated. stealing your breath before spitting onto his fingers when he returns his mouth between your thighs, keeping the pace slow and controlled. you’re seeing stars. and the worst part is, he knows exactly how good he is at this.

it doesn’t take long after that. he feels it before you say anything. the way your thighs tense around him. the way your hands grab the sheets. the way your sounds turn shaky and uneven. he notices everything. and instead of speeding up, instead of giving you what you’re chasing, he slows down. painfully slow.

his tongue moves in teasing strokes, giving you just enough to keep you right there on the edge, but never quite pushing you over. his fingers continue their steady rhythm inside you, curling just right, while every few seconds he drags his tongue upward in one slow glide before pulling back again. the cool air barely has time to touch you before his mouth is back.

building. building. building.

your moans lose their shape, dissolving into broken, trembling sounds. your whole body starts to shake, desperate for release. "holl… is… pl- please" you gasp. "just… let me… cum." you feel his grin against you before you see it. and then suddenly, no more teasing. his mouth presses fully to you and his tongue moves faster, firmer, flicking with intent. the shift is immediate and overwhelming. your back arches.

his name falls from your lips in a breathless cry as everything snaps at once.

for a few seconds, the world goes hazy. your body trembles through it, heat flooding your limbs as he keeps you steady, riding it out with you until the waves finally soften. when he moves back up the bed, you’re still catching your breath. "fuck, holli." you whisper as he kisses you. slow this time, almost tender. "you like it?" he murmurs against your mouth. you smile weakly. "if i hadn’t already been obsessing over you before, i would start now."

he grins like he’s won something. "good." he says lightly. "let’s leave it at that for today, sweetheart. now that we both know what’s going on, there’s no rush." you look up at him, confused and just a little disappointed. "but i want you." you admit quietly. "i need you. now."

his thumb brushes gently along your cheek. "we’re going to take this slow, y/n." he says softly. "i promise you, you’ll have all of me. just at the right time." there’s something grounding about the way he says it. not rejection. not hesitation. just intention. he pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. "you gonna write about this too?" he murmurs. you snort quietly against him. "you wish." he hums. "so that’s a yes." - "idiot."

he chuckles, tightening his arm around you as you settle into him. and for a moment, you both just lie there. feeling the warmth. the closeness. the relief of finally saying what had been unsaid for so long. it’s out now. it’s real. and the best part: you both know this was only the beginning.

-

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