cumming my brain outs and then falling asleep <3333

Where’s the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways

The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples aren’t coming to save us.

Save me teen dystopia love triangle

Teen dystopia love triangle save me

I hate ruminating on what could have been. Out here thinking "if only I locked in when I was 13" are we serious

the father (dolly parton), the son (sabrina carpenter), and the holy spirit (miss piggy)

Do you think it's a problem if I get excited opening tumblr each day to see the smut? Yeah no I didn't think so either

jesusismyhostage

Y'know, one of the things I like about Tumblr compared to other social media sites is that old content is still in circulation. Which means that however much AI generated content is out there, at least I can glance at a post's timestamp and conclude that the cute cat video from 2017 is unlikely to be fake

People who regret not having kids tend to extend themselves to help kids in need around them, the childless lady in the neighborhood who gives out good Halloween candy, your favorite uncle who takes you to do fun stuff. People who regret having kids, on the other hand? Absolute demons to everyone around them. Lol. The common refrain of “You’re going to end up lonely in a nursing home if you don’t have kids.” is extremely wrong if you’re a good person and I would say a large percentage of visit-less elderly people in nursing homes actually had children, they just treated them like shit.

Touching myself is fun and all but I wish I had someone to do it for me

this is a Christmas post for you to like and unlike over and over to see the little snowy animation they have rn

nerdy roommate who forgot to delete their search history x pervy roommate who’ll recreate all of their fantasies