WolfStarT07

Me:

over the past several days, i have talked with dozens of people who have corroborated evidence which confirms fears i have had for months - fears which i had been made to believe were unsubstantiated, until now. for my own privacy, safety, and wellbeing, i will be keeping this a personal matter. if there comes a time where it becomes relevant to share my perspective, i will do so with care and respect for everyone involved. at this time, however, i do not feel it would be helpful.

this situation has left me heartbroken. it has been devastating to find that someone who i trusted, loved, and considered one of my best friends was not the person i believed him to be. i am feeling more betrayed than i know how to express. my only solace is that in spite of this, i still find myself surrounded by friends and beloveds. forgive me if i choose to lean into them rather than my art in the coming weeks.

as for our music with Avid, i have given them the option to do what he pleases with it. while i am so, so proud of the love and care i have put into those songs, i sincerely cannot in good conscious claim them anymore. so many people have loved those songs, and i would not feel right taking them from anyone. this is why i have left it his decision whether he wants them to remain, or whether he chooses to remove them.

i ask that all of you please, please remain cordial. we are hurt, and the only thing that poking around and harassing others does is perpetuate the cycle of harm. if any malice burns within your heart, extinguish it now. i am tired of vitriol. i am tired, just in general. i want to take my time to heal, and then continue to make the art that i love, and share it with all of you. i ask each of you to do me the favor of not rocking the boat in the meantime.

I hope ur doing amazing <3 I was just wondering if you have any Spiderson and Irondad fanfic recs? Thanks smm!

I have an EXTENSIVE library of fic recs, but here are just a few of my favorites that come to mind:

And You’ll Blow Us All Away by losingmymindtonight —> A classic Tony-adopts-Peter fic. Hurt/comfort with a nice balanced amount of each. Must read Irondad and Spiderson literature. Recommended by one of my moots, and is probably one of my all time favorite fics now.

S.O.S (Somehow Obtained Son) by madasthesea —> Gotta be one of the best short fics of all time. The origin of my Morse code headcanon.

I’ll Always Protect You (Even If You Don’t Want Me To) by JAWorley —> Protective Tony, Peter having stress seizures. Good hurt/comfort. JAWorley is just a very good author in general, and I highly recommend their stuff if you’re into Irondad.

deshiscence by Eccentric_Grace (@gracieparkerr on here!!) —> Heartbreaking hurt/comfort. I also recommend her other stuff too. I swear this isn’t nepotism. She genuinely writes peak fics.

Accepting The Tides by Emma_Anacortes —> This is an amazing fic, but please be warned. It showcases an emotionally manipulative parent very well, to the degree where it almost gave me a panic attack and I had to stop reading. Deadass. I’m still recommending it, however, because what I was able to read was very good, and I really hope to finish it one day. If this or any of the other content tagged is something that triggers you, maybe skip this one. Just read the tags and please be careful!!

I also have an Ao3 as well that I occasionally post on when I actually finish something! There’s some extra infinity gap stuff over too, if you want to check it out.

peter adores tony, but tony builds this emotional wall between them from the get-go, mostly because he’s afraid he’s going to be a bad influence. At the beginning of the mentorship he keeps peter at an arms length, because he knows everything he touches turns to ruin.

I certainly think that, in the earliest stages of their relationship, before peter started to see the more human side of him, he would copy his mannerisms, even simple little things like the way he stands with his hands in his pockets or the way he nods at the receptionist when he walks into one of his fancy business buildings. He thought that maybe, if he was more like tony, tony would like him more.

SCENARIOS:

when they’re in the lab, peter copies little things about tony, the way he sits, the way he stands with his arms crossed, the way he moves seamlessly around the room swiping at holograms and picking up tools in a controlled, chaotic dance. At this point, peter doesn’t know where everything is in the lab yet, but he feels insecure asking, so he just kind of fumbles around until tony helps him.

peter yells at DUM-E to pass him things the way tony does, except DUM-E doesn’t listen to him.

peter starts picking up some of the sayings that tony has, even the less… school appropriate ones.

peter gets kidnapped while he’s out on patrol. it’s the first time this has happened, and quite frankly he’s terrified. when tony is scared he doesn’t show it. so, he tries to act all tough and smart like tony. it only ends up making the kidnappers more angry with him, and they hurt him more.

after this, tony has a heart to heart with peter about all this, sort of an expansion on the classic “I just wanted to be like you / I wanted you to be better” moment from Homecoming, where he explains to him that he likes him just the way he is, and the reason he’s been so distant is because he doesn’t want to rub off on him.

peter explains that the reason he’s doing all that in the first place is he wants tony to be proud of him, and think he’s worth his time.

from there, they start to open up to each other.

like little bruce didn't want to go see goncharov -- of course he didn't, what nine year old wants to see a 1970s mafia movie about futility? -- but it didn't matter what he wanted, because the narrative of goncharov was already assembling itself around him

the aesthetics. the brooding noir atmosphere of gotham. the corruption and organized crime. the aching desire for tenderness, for honesty, for simple contentment, that can never be expressed or fulfilled -- the tragic echoes of goncharov's life and relationships in bruce's own relattionships with selina, with talia, with harvey. (also note that this issue would have been published roughly around the same time as hush???? hellO?????) and of course, the fucking grandfather clock. the central, always present, inescapable imagery of the family clock, forever stopped on and yet always constantly returning to the time when everything changed forever. you can't get over it. you'll never get over it. it's always there

(side note -- do you think thomas wayne, the huge goncharov fan, ever looked at the family clock in his study and was like, hmm, seems pretty ironic? like. my guy. my buddy. my tragically doomed pal.)