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What.

The.

Unholy.

Fuck.

Am.

I.

Hey Stan, where did you get that boat?

Oh.

Hey Stan, where did you get that mask?

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you get your fez?

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you get that crossbow? 

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did the phrase “Hot Belgian Waffles” come from? 

Oh. 

Hey Stan, how do you know there’s a secret button on the wall?

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you get Journal 1?

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did your love of money come from? 

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you learn to lie? 

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you learn how to punch triangles?

Oh. 

Hey Stan, where did you learn how to fight?

Oh. 

Inspired by @incorrectgravityfalls POST

It’s about a mile from town to the Mystery Shack. 

If we take this map to be accurate, it’s roughly a straight shot from town to the Shack. You could cut a bit off if you went completely straight instead of following the road, but you’d be going through thick forest which would probably actually make the trip longer (especially considering the nature of the forest in question). 

So when Stan flees the police station in NWHS, let’s assume he takes the road back to the Shack, and that it’s about a mile. 

He evidently goes the entire way from the police station to the Shack on foot. (Which is a bit surprising; I’d assume Stan would be able to hotwire a car. But never mind that now.)

He’s got no more than twelve minutes, max, to get there. We don’t see his countdown again after he starts escaping, but it took him some time to get out of the police station; let’s say 2-5 minutes.

He arrives in the basement with just over a minute to spare. It probably took at least another minute for him to get into the basement, especially since he would have had to call the elevator back up after the kids and Soos took it down, so let’s say he arrives at the Shack at about 2 minutes to go. 

That means he covered a mile on foot in somewhere between 8-5 minutes, at the end of which he’s somewhat out of breath but still going strong.

best of tumblr: gravity falls

jesus christ do i miss this shit