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POV The Captain | The Captain Loves Lieutenant Havers | Yoga | First Kiss
After lunch, the Captain retrieves his running clothes and changes in his office, not wanting to invite questions from anyone who might spot him walking down the corridor in his shorts during work hours.
He sits to finish a report while he waits for his lieutenant, signing it off just as the expected knock sounds at the door.
Havers is similarly attired, his sportswear doing nothing to hide the muscles that the Captain so often found himself thinking about or, when he forgot himself, staring at.
“Ready, sir?”
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Another Bucktommy thought I had last night, because can't stop, won't stop;
You know my pervasive head canon that I won't shut up about, the one where Tommy bought an engagement ring after the hookup, because he knew that if he were ever lucky enough to see Evan again and get yet another chance, he'd make it count? He wouldn't let Evan go?
Well, we all know how their next meeting ended up going...
But let's say that now, almost a year and a half later, Tommy is dating again. He has a boyfriend, and he's nice, but they've only been together for a few months and it's still pretty casual. Tommy knows Matt isn't the one, but that's fine. He's pretty sure they're on the same page..
...until the day that Matt comes across the engagement ring hidden in Tommy's sock drawer. He makes what seems like the most logical conclusion at the time, and calls Tommy in a hurry, voice full of excitement, letting him know that yes, he would absolutely love to marry him.
And Tommy...Tommy is too damn stunned to correct him. He never wanted to hurt Matt, and Matt never deserved any of this.
Now Tommy has to figure out a way to tell him that not only was the ring intended for someone else all together, someone he never truly got over, but also that he never really saw them taking that step at all.
And to make everything worse, the grapevine and all its gossip finds Buck, letting him know of Tommy's "engagement."
”I forgot why I came over here. Maybe if I go back,” he muttered to himself and went back to where he came from. Where did he come from? Maybe the locker room. He patted his pockets, but there was nothing weird in them and they weren't empty.
He was breathing weird.
Fresh air. He should go outside and get some air.
He turned on his heel and went further into the building, toward the stairs.
He pushed the door to the roof open and stumbled toward the edge. It was too hot to stand around in the sun, in the dark fabric of his uniform. The sun was bright and blinding. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, but he couldn't see the screen. He fumbled the brightness up.
He found his thread with Tommy and sent off a,
congratulations
It felt like the right thing to do. All this time, he'd thought it was open ended. That there was still a possibility there.
The door was closed now. Tommy was marrying someone else.
Tommy found someone else.
Buck felt stupid more than anything. Why did he think it would work out? How childish it was to think Tommy was waiting. Why would he? Tommy had given him a chance to start over and he'd fucked it up in less than twelve hours.
Why would anyone wait around for someone like that? It wasn't like all those stupid movies Tommy was always quoting. Things didn't miraculously work out, just because you wanted it enough. There was no such thing as being meant to be.
His phone went off in his hand. He unlocked the screen. There was no new message, but Tommy had reacted to his message with a thumbs up.
Buck's hands went cold. Tommy had never reacted to a message ever – let alone with a thumbs up.
Buck called him.
”Evan – ”
”Are you OK?”
”What?”
”Is this a hostage situation? Or DV?”
” … I'm not sure I understand?”
”You reacted with a thumbs up.”
Tommy sighed. ”Evan, it's … I'm fine.”
”Do you even know where the thumbs up emoji is in the menu? You have never sent me an emoji that made sense, in any context, ever. What's going on?”
Tommy was quiet in a deeply ominous way.
”Can we meet? I can't have a fucking– A papertrail.”
Buck's eyebrows attempted to escape his face. If Tommy's paranoia had kicked in, something was deeply, deeply wrong.
”I'm four hours into my shift. And so are you.”
Tommy sighed again. ”Obviously, it can't be right now. And we can't be seen together, so I can't come meet you.”
”Hold on, hold on – we can't be seen together? Tommy, what the fuck.” Tommy made a small, distressed sound that did nothing to soothe either one of them. ”Tommy. My heart is about to fall out of my ass, I need you to tell me you're safe.”
”I am safe. It's just,” he took a breath. ”I don't know how to get out of this.”
”Get out of what? Your engagement?”
”My situation.”
”Can I be seen at Harbor?”
”What? Why?”
”If I burst into tears, I'm pretty sure Chim will send me home, so he doesn't have to fix it. Can I come to you?”
”Fuck. Shit. Let me get back to you. Gimme, like, ten minutes.”
The phone went silent in his hand. Ten minutes. He could have so many panic attacks in ten minutes. His heart was racing, his fingers were tingling. Buck put the phone in his pocket and shook out his hands. Ten minutes.
It was more like five, when his phone rang. ”Oh, thank fuck.” He held the device to his ear, ”Tommy?”
”Remember that gastropub we went to? It was a converted warehouse.”
”The one the fire marshal shut down? What about it?”
”Meet me there? I've got an hour.”
*
Buck thundered down the stairs, slamming every door on the way. Everyone eyed him as he came into the loft.
”It's OK, I'm OK.” He looked at the kitchen. ”C-shift covered groceries, right? You think they bought flour?”
Chimney came up to him. ”Buck. Hey. Hey. Buck. Hi. Listen, how about you take the day off?”
”Why would I do that?” he sniffled and wiped at his eyes. It was sweat, but Chimney didn't need to know that.
Chimney straightened up and put his hands on his hips. ”Firefighter Buckley, I think it's best if I send you home.”
”Chim – ”
He held up his hand. ”Take the day off, do something nice for yourself. Please.”
Buck pushed out his bottom lip and hunched his shoulders. ”M-maybe that would be best. If you're sure?”
”Get out of here, Buck, we've got it.”
He rubbed his eyes a final time. ”Thank you.” He didn't run, but it was a near thing. He changed out of his uniform and packed his bag as fast as he could, and made his way to the warehouse.
He hardly recognised it, when he made it to the address. He spotted Tommy's truck and pulled up behind it. Everything was burnt down.
”Oh, wow. When did that happen?” he asked, as he tumbled out of his car.
”Two weeks ago.”
”You look like shit.”
”So do you.” Tommy huffed. ”No, you don't, you look great. Thanks for meeting me.”
”What's going on?” Buck asked.
Tommy opened and closed his mouth. He'd looked more cheerful when he'd broken up with Buck. ”I, uhm,” he swallowed. ”I think I just realised you have to know, in order to help.”
Buck could do this. He could help with whatever situation this was. He could be encouraging. He could.
”Whatever it is, I won't judge you.”
Tommy nodded. ”I think you should.”
”Right. OK. I will judge you a proportionate amount. Whatever you need.”
”Fuck,” Tommy muttered and ran his fingers through his hair. It was already standing up, so he must've done it a few times already. ”I'm engaged.”
”Alright. And?”
”I didn't propose.”
Buck paused his encouraging nods to frown. ”Right, OK, so your fiancé did.”
”He also did not propose.”
”I'm pretty sure someone needs to propose.”
Tommy laughed, ”You'd think so.”
”What happened?”
”He found a ring in my dresser. A ring I bought for you.”
Buck was pretty sure his heart stopped. He definitely stopped breathing. Tommy bought him a ring. When the fuck did Tommy buy him a ring? ”He thought it was for him.”
”And I didn't correct him.”
”Of course you didn't.” Tommy made a face, but didn't dispute it. ”How long ago was this?”
”Three weeks.”
Buck took a deep breath. ”That's not great.”
”I've had heart palpitations for three weeks.”
Buck's ears were ringing a little bit, but it was a pretty straight forward problem, even if his emotional involvement made it a hell of a lot more complicated. ”How can I help?”
”I don't know,” Tommy sighed and bent over, clutching his knees. Tommy was not this animated, unless sports were involved. It was stressful as hell.
”I need more information. Why can't we be seen together?”
”I don't know, I'm panicking.”
”I can see that. Fuck. We're supposed to be good in a crisis. What if we … What if you tell him you changed your mind? How long have you been together?”
”Uh. Two months? Three?”
”That is … That is very fast. Which could work in your favour! Tell him you thought you wanted it, but now that you're doing it, it's too fast.”
Tommy checked his watch and stood back up. ”Talking to him is the issue. He's excited.”
”Tommy. You cannot marry someone because they want to.”
”I met his parents over Zoom.”
Buck had a feeling they were only scraping the surface. ”You told him yours were dead, didn't you?”
”Obviously.”
Buck sighed, but he couldn't fault Tommy for that. ”If your dad ever steps foot in this fucking town, I'm killing him, so he might as well be.”
”Thanks.”
”You need to head back?” Buck asked, after Tommy checked his watch again.
”I was only granted time enough for a personal errand.”
”I've got the day off, so I've got time. Listen, I'll think of something. Worst case scenario, I speak to him myself, yeah?”
”I don't want that.”
”Neither do I, but it's an option. What's his name?”
”Matthew.”
Buck shivered. ”Ew.”
Tommy laughed, a little hysterical. ”You know nothing about him.”
”I don't need to know him to hate him. Get back to Harbor, I'll figure something out. I'll call you, so maybe change my name in your phone.”
”Already did.”
”What did you change– No. No, I don't need to know. Go.”
*
Buck went home. He did two circuits with the gym equipment in his backyard, but it did little to change anything. His heart was still racing, his ears were still ringing.
He was trying to keep his own feelings at bay, to help Tommy, but it was really fucking hard. So far, his only suggestion for a solution, was come over.
As it closed in on Tommy getting off work, Buck still didn't know what to do. He felt bad having offered a solution and then not coming up with anything. The only thing he had left to offer, was his support. He pulled up a map on his phone and started looking for places they could meet.
*
It wasn't exactly clandestine, but hopefully Matthew wouldn't think to come looking for his fiancé at a park with a one star rating.
Tommy didn't look any better. He sunk onto the bench beside, with a heavy sigh. He still had his phone in his hand, so Buck asked,
”What did you change my name to?”
”Eva.”
”You deleted one letter?”
”And two emojis.”
”You didn't delete those before? How the fuck did Matthew think you wanted to marry him?”
”Listen, the issue is Matthew is a perfectly nice guy and I can't devastate him, like I usually do. I can't keep doing that to people. He needs to feel like walking away is the better, more preferable option.”
”Right,” Buck said mildly. He knew he was being petty, but he couldn't not ask, ”Does the ring fit?”
”No. Matt has dainty fingers.”
”Would it fit me?”
”Yes. I measured.”
”What? How? When?”
”You have butcher's twine in your kitchen. I did it while you slept.”
”I moved,” Buck said. ”I still have the twine, but it's a different kitchen. Not that that matters.”
”You got your own place? Thank fuck.”
”I cannot keep having this conversation – I was subletting. It was my house.”
”Christopher's height is etched into the doorframe.”
”Give me your phone,” he held out his hand. ”I'm calling Matthew.”
They glared at each other for a moment, before scoffing in tandem and letting it lie.
”Thank you for doing this,” Tommy said. ”You didn't have to.”
”If the ring was for me, I think I'm partially to blame.”
”No, you're not.”
Buck kicked him in the shin. ”Let me help.”
Tommy sat up straight and crossed his arms, turned slightly toward Buck.
”What if I tell him I've been cheating since the start? That we were never exclusive?”
Buck made face. ”That's pretty shitty.”
”My reputation is already shit, there's nothing to salvage.”
”Your reputation is fine.”
”Oh, I'm sure Abby only had nice things to say about me.”
Buck wrinkled his nose. ”Point taken.”
”I could kill myself.”
Buck sighed deeply. ”Killing yourself is not a solution.”
”I think it is.”
”Shut up.”
They spent a long time, coming up with increasingly more elaborate schemes. Buck was willing to do any of them, if Tommy asked, but it was becoming clear that they weren't actually looking for a solution, they were just making them up for the sake of talking.
It was closing in on dinner time, when Buck asked, ”You're gonna tell him, aren't you?”
”Yeah,” Tommy nodded. He'd been quiet for a while now. ”Yeah, I am. I just needed to freak out first.”
”Want me to come with you?”
”I do, but I don't think you should.”
Buck watched him get out his phone and text Matthew. They went back and forth a couple of times, before Tommy exhaled and put the phone in his pocket.
”When's it happening?”
”Now. I need to head out.” He checked his watch.
They hugged, before Tommy left. Buck squeezed him as hard as he could, but didn't say anything. He didn't say good luck, didn't tell him it was for the best.
*
Buck didn't know how long it took to break off an engagement. For Matthew's sake, hopefully it took a little longer, so he could get closure.
Buck spent a few agonisingly long minutes imagining what kind of man Matthew was. What kind of man found a ring after two months of dating and thought it was exciting, instead of terrifying. A very optimistic one, for sure.
Maybe it was a shitty thing to do, he couldn't tell anymore, but he sent his new address to Tommy, along with,
if you want to talk
Buck went through the motions of making and eating dinner, and texting back some of the colleagues who had attempted to check in during the day.
He was hoping, but not expecting to hear from Tommy.
Buck had suds up to his elbows, when the doorbell rang. He wiped down in a hurry, pushed things onto the drying rack, and went to answer the door.
Tommy looked about the same, but tired.
”Come in,” Buck stepped aside.
They stood in the living room for a beat. Buck with a dish towel, Tommy with his hands in his pockets.
”How did it go?”
”I have no idea,” Tommy smiled.
”Can I see it?”
Tommy pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over. It didn't look special. It was just a silver band. Buck turned it over a couple of times, before the inside caught his attention.
It was engraved.
Are you free Saturday?
”You can keep it, if you want. Put it in a trinket box or something.”
”You're not proposing?”
”No,” Tommy shook his head. ”Clearly, that is not on the table for me, message received, loud and clear, never again.”
”Are you free Saturday?”
”Yeah, I thought … I thought it was sweet, I don't know.”
”No, I'm asking – are you free Saturday?”
”I am,” he said, before it dawned on him. ”Oh. Oh, you're asking.”
Buck looked at him for an extended moment. ”Now that the competition is out of the way.”
MARTIN QUINN as LT. MONTGOMERY “SCOTTY” SCOTT and CELIA ROSE GOODING as ENSIGN NYOTA UHURA
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds s03e04 “A Space Adventure Hour”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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