Hey, ask me if I'm a tree

“I’ll turn into bugs, don’t make me do it.”

Tip: you can microwave stale croissant for 15-20 seconds and it will become soft and warm and nice. Cut it open, put butter in it. Peace and love

Tip: you can refrigerate stale croissant for 3-6 hours and it will become mushy and cold and unpleasant. It won't cut well, so just put a big clump of cold, hard butter on it. Strife and hatred.

Tip: you can do nothing to a stale croissant for any arbitrary length of time and it will remain as is. Do not cut it, or add butter. Stasis and stagnation.

Tip: actually, if you do nothing to a stale croissant, it will grow a fluffy bread mold with many potential colors (white, green, etc), which, if left long enough, will consume the entire croissant for you. I would not advise cutting it. Adding butter may get you a second type of mold. Decay and rot.

You just had to be there I guess.

very well, i shall smoke this “bowl” with you. but take warning! henceforth i may become quite….. silly…

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

letting my wife kill me during sex does not make me a bottom or a sub. it simply means i love my wife

i can’t talk rn, i’m doing hot girl shit *reanimates a corpse*