You Still Make Me Angry, Tumblr

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

Was about to fall asleep and apropos of nothing was struck out of nowhere by a horrible future vision of a brightly-lit and saccharine 3D-AI Calvin and Hobbes movie with Scarlet Johanssen voicing the mom and Chris Pratt voicing Hobbes and experienced an emotional haptic jerk so chilling I feel like I just foresaw my own death

(Drenched in a cold sweat, visibly shaking) We Need To Warn Bill Watterson

oh thank heavens

It would be funny if we were introduced to a vast galaxy of alien life and the blue whale was still the largest animal ever discovered. Like that’s the biggest life has ever gotten. That would be fucked. The blue whale is just the craziest animals would get even with the introduction of a seemingly infinite number of new species. Would you be disappointed or celebrate the enormity of our homegrown big ass creature?

“You don’t know what pain is really like, once you get to my age—“ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD

Well, are you?. We’re waiting.

There’s a lot to be umami about these days.

so. i just learned that my entirely me-written resume flags as being AI-written by automated HR systems for a few writing quirks and the fact that i followed all the rules of good resume writing, which is apparently a telltale sign of AI use in this fucking hellworld. i've been desperately applying to jobs that i am massively overqualified for for months with no response, not even an interview, and now i find out that at least part of the reason is because some fucking moron decided that following the rules every career advisor has given me for a decade means i cheated and should be disqualified. the ai bubble cannot pop soon enough. what the actual fuck.

"frequent use of action-result sentences. bullet points all start with action verbs. no career gaps." girl what the fuck are you talking about. that's just resume writing advice being followed. i just did what i was told. it's a fucking resume. you're supposed to do all that stuff. what the fuck do you mean it looks ai generated and wouldn't pass basic detection systems?????????? for following the resume writing rules????????????

wishing every AI bro and ceo a very [REDACTED]

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife