Eyn

it’s nothing that 100 house centipedes can’t fix

i think that harry styles dies really frequently to like putting forks in outlets n shit, and they gotta use a factory to make more harries. but one day one of the fucked up defective harries escaped and they couldnt catch him in time before he became famous and so they just had to let him do this thing. and thats timothee chalamet

"you have to chose one person. ONE. who you are supposed to care about more than anyone else in your life, and if you don't want that, there must be something fundamentally wrong with you and you'll eventually realise you were meant to spend your whole life with this one person who you will inevitably have sex and children with" sounds like the premise to a gut twisting psychological horror movie but nooo. it's a real life mindset shared by a frankly terrifying proportion of earth's human population

society has genuinely moved past the need for christopher nolan

feeling pretty dissociative and alienated from personhood rn if any bad bitches want to exploit me as a living weapon

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

Youre on your phone meanwhile snakes are coming down from the ceiling

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

ever since i was a little girl i’ve experienced an oppressive sense of spiritual ennui when confronted with aesthetic ugliness. the strip malls of new jersey used to make me physically ill

this man was really just in this public bathroom with his girlfriend on speaker phone and she’s like “what are you up to” he’s like “I’m taking a shit baby” absolutely appalling this might be the last straw for me I really might attack this man

literally I feel like a wild chimpanzee right now

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.

If i were a medieval peasant girl i might have poisoned the well. just to have something going on