eyeles

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom

it's a romcom to YOU. to me it's psychological horror

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

ironically enough, bringing a plushie to a public setting as an adult requires a tremendous level of emotional development, and attempting to shame an adult for having a plushie in public requires a significant amount of immaturity. this applies to a surprising number of things.

I was bleeding out in the snow and it was all cool and stuff until like a bunch of teenager showed up and then It got really cringe so I put all the blood back and went to go bleed out somewhere else but all the good bleed out places were taken so I decided just to die like a natural peaceful death like look overlooking the Cliffside but lo and behold somebody's already fucking dying there against a tree and it looks way sicker than what I had planned I guess I'll just fucking live

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

This sounds like a shitpost but people should be allowed to be horny. As in, sexuality is just part of life for most people and there’s no reason for consensual sexual behavior to be punished. A celebrity getting “caught” at a sex club shouldn’t be a scandal. No one should be fired for having a fetlife profile outside of work. Nudes getting leaked shouldn’t be career-ending. Denying and hiding (consensual) sexual interests doesn’t make anyone more professional, it just makes everyone more repressed. And sterilizing ourselves to be better work drones isn’t productive, it’s just creepy. I’d rather my surgeon get absolutely railed on camera and come to work in a good mood, frankly.

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.