ENFJ

But when you’re not using it? When you have cleaned it and put it back in the cupboard? What is it then? That’s right. It reverts to being a gravy boat. Because that’s what it’s, as they say, “for.”

And when you take it out again and fill it with, idk, salsa verde, what will people say? They’ll say, “Oh, that’s a good use for a gravy boat.” No one ever says “how clever of you to use a salsa boat to serve gravy.” Because the boat defaults to gravy. That is the problem.

If I go to the store and ask for a raita boat, I get funny looks. If I ask for a gravy boat, they know exactly what I’m talking about. Fair? No. Fact? Yes.

Customer: “I saw a sign that I get a free drink?”

Me: “For signing up for our rewards program, yes :)”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one of those”

Me: “Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :)”

Customer: “Eh I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “…” “…” “:)”

Customer: “I hate getting all those emails”

Me: “Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how :)”

Customer: “No thanks, I don’t want an account”

Me: “Okay… well the drink will be [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I thought it was free?”

Me: “:)”

Me: “It’s free if you sign up for our rewards program :)”

Customer: “I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “Then the drink isn’t free :)”

Customer: “You can’t just give me the drink?”

Me: “No, I can’t unfortunately :)”

Customer: “Why not? It’s only [x amount]”

Me: “If that’s not a lot of money to you, why don’t you just pay for it? :)”

Customer: “This is shit customer service”

Me: “:)”

Customer: “This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself—”

Me: “I don’t control the prices, I’m just a cashier :)“

Customer: “—making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it’s not even a large—”

Me: “That’s not my decision, I’m just a cashier :)”

Customer: “—and you bet I won’t be coming back here again”

ExFP - Te: barks out orders, enjoys unleashing their inner bitch, and then fails to follow through with supervision and coordination. 

ExTP - Fe: makes things awkward by pointing out sexual tension in the air.

ENxJ - Se: gets inspired by a Pinterest/Tumblr post to produce mildly aesthetically pleasing (but otherwise basic) DIY project.

ESxJ - Ne: uses the same joke for the 863th time. Hey, it still works.

IxFJ - Ti: semi-politely points out an error in logic in what someone’s saying, fails to keep up with resulting debate.

IxTJ - Fi: tries to counsel and emotionally comfort someone, gets misunderstood and gives up in frustration.

ISxP - Ni: successfully predicts what is going to happen, but only if it’s a low stakes small event.

ENxJ: thinks they are special; measures it by meeting conventional standards of success 

ESxJ: believes micromanagement to be necessary to prevent disaster; engages in controlling/meddlesome behaviour that ultimately produces discord

IxTJ: believes oneself to be factual and objective; remains stubborn in the face of no evidence/poor results

IxFJ: claims to have a “reason” for something and only trusts their own judgement; fails to explain their position clearly and coherently, all while refusing constructive criticism

ExFP: thinks they are special and authentic; shows insecurity by excessive validation-seeking (as attractive and unconventional)

ExTP: thinks themselves to be logical and unbiased; only cites facts at their own convenience (to fit the narrative)

INxP: feels stuck and and as though they can’t progress; rejects new possibilities because of pessimistic attitude

Fi

“I don’t like to see others sad”

“I want my feelings to be taken care of first”

Fe

“I need to help everybody”

“I hate everybody”

Ti

“I understand everything so much better than others”

“It is not humanly possible to reach a state of complete knowledge”

Te

“I want to meet goals quickly”

“My impatience makes me miss out important details, which slows down progress”

Ni

“I know the truth of everything”

“My mind is so abstract that I can’t pin down what I’m thinking”

Ne

“I have a million possible ideas”

“But I have a hard time deciding which one is better than the rest”

Si

“I need to remember every little detail to feel safe”

“Because I know all the minute angles of a situation by heart, I can perceive a million ways things can go wrong and I feel very unsafe”

Se

“I’m one with my surroundings”

INTP

ENTP

ENTJ

INTJ

INFP

ENFP

ENFJ

INFJ

ISTP: “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” ~1984 

ISTJ: “We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall.” ~Tracks

ISFP: “If you are a dreamer, come in, If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer… If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire.” ~Where The Sidewalk Ends

ISFJ: “A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.” ~The End of the Affair 

INTP: “Quietly, like a shadow, I watch this drama unfold scene by scene. I am the lucid one here, the dangerous one, and nobody suspects.”  ~Love, Anger, Madness: A Haitian Triptych

INTJ: “It winged its way across the blackness of intergalactic space, searching.” ~World Eater

INFP: “He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.” ~Scaramouche

INFJ: “The world is a clock winding down.” ~The Infinite Sea

ESTP “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.”  ~The Go-Between

ESTJ: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” ~A Tale Of Two Cities

ESFP: “First the colors, then the humans. That’s usually how I see things. Or at least, how I try.” ~The Book Thief 

ESFJ: “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant.” ~The Year Of Magical Thinking

ENTP: “It was a pleasure to burn.” ~Fahrenheit 451

ENTJ: “If music be the food of love, play on.” ~Twelfth Night

ENFP: “In case you hadn’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going.” ~The Untethered Soul