it's all uncharted

wakinge up bright & eorly to get started on my day of crime

how did your day of crime go, cat?

im under federoul indictment

ghost hunting is such an american concept. everywhere else we just coexist with them. befriend them even

our flag means death potc au i know it sounds ridiculous but hear me out. ed is will turner stede is elizabeth swann; zheng yi sao stands in for jack sparrow but is otherwise 100% herself; izzy is a blend of davy jones and barbossa. the crew is exactly the same except maybe they turn into skeletons in the moonlight. the british is still the british

the ed turning into davy jones to save his life thing would end up being such a non issue bc stede would immediately go "ok" and sell his soul to the dutchman

Funniest character creation of all time goes to when the first co-creator of Kim Possible said "Kim Possible. She can do anything." out loud in an elevator and the second one immediately replied with "Ron Stoppable. He can't."

and they were just correct though

omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all

it's always "take off the amulet it's cursed" and "cast it into the flames before corrupts your soul" and never "woah cool amulet where did you get it" or "i like your amulet it looks nice on you"

the only reason #cottagecore is considered a gen z thing is bc its a hashtag. it used to be called transcendentalism when offline men did it

Henry David Thoreau having all of his meals sent to him and laundry done while patting himself on the back for being such a back-to-the-land individualist: #simpleliving #aesthetic #waldenpond #cottagecore

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound