⋆ Uni ⋆

It was never coined with that intent in mind and has been adopted by researchers and abuse prevention groups to group in all types of minor-attracted paraphiles, as well as lessening the stigma to encourage them to come forward and seek help.

Hi. Welcome back to our blog. We have a lot of things to say in this regard, since we are alters who were radqueer and have some radqueer alters who are in active recovery (who will have the chance to talk here from their perspective). I’m one of the no-nonsense bitches here in the Guild, so there is a bit of foul language but valuable advice.

So, here’s my guide (or more like advice) to reach out to a radqueer.

Step 1: Don’t harass radqueers, nor go after them on a witch hunt.

This is the BIGGEST piece of advice I can give. These people are groomed, but at some point they will realize on their own something is up. Loopholes in their own narrative pop out every time, but they must have to realize that something is wrong with themselves. Do not force them to believe what you believe in. And, BY NO MEANS send harassment to them. You’re trying to help, not drive them further. Harassing or insulting them is counterproductive, and basically an asshole move to any victim.

Step 2: Allow them to speak up. Let them vent and cry.

Not as an edgy or weird thing. They NEED to speak up and talk about how they feel. Remember: radqueers prey on vulnerable people. 90% of the individuals involved are, in fact, people whose insecurities and lack of community were used against them. In order to make a radqueer feel safe, they must feel safe to speak about what they feel in regards to their identity.

While doing this, make sure not to judge. Many people in the community get abused, hurt and so on. They will have scary thoughts and heavy topics when it comes to talking about them. Don't point fingers; listen carefully and approach them in an understanding manner, and always be kind and careful with your words. Respect that they may even be a minority that impacts the reason why they choose to be radqueer— whether that is a disability, mental illness, ethnicity or multiple of these.

Step 3: Talk to them. Let them know you're there for them.

That's pretty much the step. Comforting people is honestly my bane as an alter, but the ones who do have told me a few things in this regard. I'll put them on a bullet list below:

Be kind: These people deserve kindness just like any other. Matter of fact, a big chunk of the people who joined the radqueer community did so because of lack of kindness. Always talk to them with softness: "Is there anything we can do? How are you feeling?"

Offer affection: I recommend you not to share your DMs as an open space unless you feel confident enough to do so, but 100% offer any form of care to them. Let them know you’re there. With words AND actions. Not even those asterisks RP things. Show them the care.

Give words of courage and positivity: Absolutely give them all the nice words you can. Let them know that you value them. After all, radqueers make them feel like no one outside their own group will support them. Let them know you care for them, that they deserve good things. Always.

Step 4: Discourse comes later. Meet them first.

Have them know you first. Have yourself know them first, as well. Allow them to give them the chance to understand with YOUR actions that they’re safe. Discourse and radqueer discussions must come later.

Remember that they deserve to have a space to be themselves.

Step 5: Inform. Don’t correct.

This is when it gets messy, because one thing is stating facts and the other is going further and trying to convert them. We want to approach to them to inform, not to change them right off the bat.

The information given must be accurate and directly from victims, minorities and so on. Or at least based on these evidences. We cannot focus on morality entirely, there must be at least some socioscientific evidence for this. Whether that is an interview, a documentary, or even the voice of other ex-radqueers.

Similarly, always source yourself from minorities. Not just trans or queer people; POC people, actual paraphiles, mentally ill people and professionals are the most crucial sources for these. Google Scholar is, in the same manner, a great source of info.

Step 6: Nothing. Let them make the choice themselves.

This is unfortunate, and at the end of the day they will choose what to do on their own. If they decide to leave, that’s fine. But if they don’t, we cannot do much. We gave the information out and educated them. That’s all that matters.

Important details

Make sure to be extremely careful managing the information and vents. These carry sensitive material that could become dangerous if badly managed (namely vents and personal info).

DO NOT COMMIT A CRIME. You know what I mean. Do not harass, suicide bait or dox any individual. That would not be only disrespectful, but also dangerous to you and the victims involved. It will make matters worse.

Always source your information. Experiences might be helpful, but there is more than just spoken words. I have yet to give a quick check on Scholar for evidence, but we will do a master list for them.

Do not invalidate their experiences. Instead, inform them the damage or their ideology while also respecting what their feelings and thought processes are.

Do not force, just inform.

You’re not a bad person for liking problematic fiction.

You’re not a bad person for having taboo kinks.

You’re not a bad person for being a RAMCOA survivor.

You’re not a bad person for being a paraphile.

You’re not a bad person for leaving the radqueer community.

EDITED TO INCLUDE NICHELINK

The progress I had got deleted FML ;-;

But! I will not back down. This post is a list of alternatives for transID/transX terms for all the nice recovering radqueers who need a hand in finding nice terms OR the people who need any of these.

Important note: transIDs are rooted in ableism and racism since they “ask” you to transition into whatever the ID is. These alternatives are for the assumption that you do NOT wish to transition, and more of an auxiliary term to ease BIID and atypical dysphoria (which I struggle with as a disso-narcoleptic and a desirdae stoner).

TransID Alternatives:

Chronosian: a trans-age alternative for the people who perceive themselves as a different age from their own. There are multiple subtypes, but my search led me to two: jeuchronal (younger) and crucijuvenchronal (traumabased regression). The term “permaregressed” has been recoined and used for people with cognitive impairments and intellectual disabilities, as well. It’s common to be seen in systems, but anyone can use this!

Dissomei/dissodic: this one is a specific term to involuntary connections to anything. It’s specifically for atypical dysphoria or, in the case of our plural folks, for disorders that an alter has but the body doesn’t. For example, I (Stahl), Enmu and Noire experience narcolepsy in-system but the body doesn’t, so we use the term dissodic for ourselves. Dissodic may also refer to BIID, which serves as an auxiliary term for it.

Desirdae: similar do dissomei, it refers to a term that eases up BIID or an alter with a specific quirk the body doesn’t have. The difference, however, is that desirdae refers to desiring to achieve that “transition”. It refers to, for example, stop masking autism or ADHD, as well as alters being able to wish and crave for any need they have. As an example, I am a stoner in system but the body isn’t, therefore I use desir-stoner.

Aldernic: I can sum it up on “otherkinity on steroids” /j. It’s a term where you wish to have a different body from yours, typically non-human. This may range from being a therian to fictionkin. We can even say some alters do wish to look more like themselves bodily, therefore they could use this term.

Nichelink: It's basically a relationship that is "niche!" It's mostly referring to kink relationships that would be "problematic" if it was literal. It falls under the RACK kink acronym (risk-accepted consensual kink) and everyone is explicitly consenting to it.

Other Solutions:

Self-diagnosis: if properly researched and studied, your trans-disorder could be properly assessed and self-diagnosed until you find a good-quality doctor that aids you in your discovery.

Willogenic/Parogenic plurality: trans-plural is actually an oxymoron to me. With enough will and imagination, you can create an alter that comforts you and helps you cope. In this post answering an ask, we provided some evidence on how “tulpamancy” helps neurodivergent people. One recommendation, though, tulpamancy as a concept is a closed practice. If I was you, I would use the term willo.

Consented taboo kinks: THIS IS FOR ADULTS AND ADULTS ONLY. But if you have a need for any taboo fantasy, there’s nothing wrong with finding the right partner. As long as you are adults and consenting, there is zero needs for you to doubt yourself!

Archive On Our Own (AO3): we love AO3 in this household. There is a major chance that your fictional taste is met there. A reading a smit fanfic or two does not hurt anyone or you at all! My main recommendation is to keep it fictional and have no RPF media involved.

Important Considerations:

I as an alter am more neutral, but we are pretty much against RPF. Sexualizing minor actors is borderline predatory, and while the damage is minimal, it may cross a boundary or two.

For the adults here, I wholeheartedly recommend you to engage with kink SAFELY. Use safe words, have aftercare and, if pain is involved, be careful with managing it.

These terms are not law, and by no means the only ones. These could ease up the pain and issues with atypical dysphoria, plurality and BIID, but at the end of the day, we’re not doctors or professionals.

Hello, we are back from our hiatus. We honestly needed some time off to come up with ideas, but now we’re collectively making this post.

We do admit that we’re kind of nervous of posting this one. It’s a serious and very much incriminating post that will probably stir the community up, but we consider this post quite crucial in regards of how the community lures you in.

TW: The BITE model is often associated with cults, organizations, RAMCOA/OEA and so on. It describes extreme emotional abuse that these groups use. Please, do not read if this content triggers you.

TW: mentions of self harm, rape, school shootings, grooming, abuse, cults,

A talk. I need to talk about it all.

Hello. I recently left the radqueer space and would like to talk about it for those interested in learning about the space or want their fears and criticism confirmed.

First off, why did I become a radqueer? At the time in my life, I was down, really down and needed a community, I needed people who would accept me, I needed people who would love me no matter what I believed in. I thought that the Radqueer space was a safe space to express my thoughts and be accepted. I was so depressed and needed that validation that I went to the worst places I could have gone to, but I was blind at the time. I was craving attention so badly I went to the one place that gave attention to everything, good and bad.

My situation there was more negative than positive.

Here is everything that happened that I can remember.

You were called a "fakerad" for being anti-contact or even neutral-contact. This made it seem like if you didn't do as everyone else did, you were an outcast, no one would like you, and you'd be harassed.

Rarely people tagged their NSFW posts. You'd be scrolling and be hit with the heaviest most triggering conabuse post ever and there would be no warning or tags on the post.

People supported confirmed abusers and predators and didn't care. They say that "they've change" / "they're changing!" But in reality there was nothing the abuser was doing to change.

LSDqueers and Basedqueers were common in the space. If you don't know what they were, to put it simply: they believe in noncon / non consent. Yes, they believe that rape is justified, that harassment is justified, that anything non con is fine. Many people did not care about this.

Harassment was common. To both insiders and outsiders. If you didn't say the right thing to someone they would call you the r-slur and fling insults at you. If you left the space and told others what truly happened, they would insult you and put you on blast on their blogs.

They believe that minors, animals, and corpses could consent. For minors, they believe in youth liberation, that minors can truly consent and that "theyve consented!" But in reality theyve been groomed into thinking it was fine. For animals, they said to "watch for body language" and just "be gentle" with the animal. For corpses, they said if the person consented before death, it was fine.

It was very cult-like. The bigger of a radqueer you were, the more attention you got, the more people would let stuff go, the more people didn't care about your actions. If you tried to leave or criticize the community, you'd be called a "fakerad" and be ostracized. I felt scared to leave the community, what if they come after me if they find my blogs once I leave? They made you seem like a traitor if you decided to leave.

Many of them are just groomed by the adults in the space. Many of them happen to be minors who were groomed and believe that they weren't, some of these minors actually want to be groomed by adults, and that they enjoy it. I saw that many of them were "transgroomed" and that when an anti would say they were being groomed, the minor would say "it's just validating my IDs!"

Many of the IDs these radqueers would have would be transharmful IDs. Such of which includes but is not limited to transschoolshooter, transmurderer, transrapist, transnazi, transhateful, transcultist, transcultleader, and transbigot.

Self harm was encouraged by many large radqueers in the space. One of which, I remember, had encouraged her followers to cut themselves because she viewed herself as a Goddess, they would ask where to cut themselves or how to do it, or "should I carve your name into my thigh? :3" and she would validate them and encourage it.

Many of the users were in the TCC, the true crime community. The TCC is notorious for their admiration and love of criminals, abusers, and school shooters.

Many of the transcultists wanted spaces where their transgod or transcultleader would encourage self harm and other very harmful acts like hurting others.

Thats all I can remember at the moment, if I remember more then I'll add it to the list.

The fact most "antis" only focus on transIDs when they're attacking radqueers is so frustrating to me. For most people (and especially ones that don't fit the social norms) radqueer community is the last option after being ostracized and shamed everywhere they go. There are real and active problems in the community and all "antis" do is talk about whether transabled kids are a danger to society or not.

Radqueers are basically a cult and I'm not exaggerating when I say this, both as a former radqueer AND a cult survivor. They use the fact that the community is mostly made up of young teenagers as a shield but trust me there is a large group of older people in the community who are slowly but surely grooming and indoctrinating kids into becoming radqueers.

They target people with unstable identities or those who are trying to find their identity or are in the process of it, convert them, and then because of the way the community is structured you end up forming your entire identity around pervertedness, being problematic and being "unloveable" to general society and around your trauma or gaining trauma. You are thrown neck deep into extremely dangerous situations and thrust into harmful coping mechanisms that do nothing but hurt you and the people around you, while constantly being told that this is the only place you'll ever be loved and that everyone else will reject you and "cancel" you. There's also something to be said about how a lot of radqueers treat being "closeted"/keeping their identity a secret.

As many of you may know, Jay (aka PermaMonika) is a predator. Not just pedophile, no. PREDATOR. Don't believe me? Well, let me introduce you to our lovely Monika Files! Take a peek. Don't worry, he only bites the kids. ;)

If any radqueers are reading this and having second thoughts about the community - this is not a one off incident. Things like this have happened over and over again in these spaces and they will continue to happen. There are other spaces with good people who will love and accept you for who you are.

This one abuser isn't the issue. They are not an outlier. It is them and every single adult who saw this happening; who saw minors with full access to shared NSFW spaces, who saw Jay making sexual comments towards kids, and didn't speak up or distance themselves from them.

This community needs to sit down and listen for a moment, primarily a specific part of this community

Over the last few weeks, my Partners and Friends have been getting harassed, I have stayed silent on the topic, for a mix of wishing to avoid the same for myself, and assuming it would die down after a while. It did not.

This was for a mix of reasons, primarily being reactive while calling out those who were pro non-consentual harm.

You can claim there were other reasons, but there truely wasn't, I will actively search through their blogs to provide fuckin proof if asked.

It all came to a head recently when one of my friends decided to come out about their grooming experience with Permamonika and the way he had treated them.

When I chose to rejoin this community, I was admittedly groomed into it. When I say groomed, I mean it, I was guilt tripped for having trauma responses around it, and due to my situation when I began to enter this community it was my only form of socialising, and my only way to really push back against my abuser. That got me away from such person. To a degree I thought the community had changed.

Something funny is, I learned during those months to duck my head in the sand, to really ignore the worst parts. Because hey, like we always say, there's bad parts in any community, right Lad?

This is pretty true. But other communities don't let it fester.

During these months I bumped into discord servers that were purely made for CSAM trading. This should've been my first sign to hit the road. If these types of servers existed anywhere else, that community would bloody be fuming. Not here though

Then I bumped into entire websites full of it, if you enter almost any radqueer only website, it will be a CSEM/CSAM ring. It WILL be passed about.

But that's not the real community? Is it?

Until now, what's reminded me why 14 year old me couldn't do it here, couldn't deal; how you've handled my friend.

Harassing a victim (Peter) to the point of them wanting suicide, supporting a groomer to the point of being willing to die on that hill. There are alot of you who don't care about victims. Alot, and I'm pretty tired of acting like you do.

You hate that my friend, my friends, none of them are perfect victims, and it makes me ill. They are not your run of the mill quiet types, and none of you can handle that. They are human, they are impulsive, they are mentally ill, they yell, they bite, they scratch, they claw, not aesthetically, not in a way you can reblog and then ignore the discourse ever happened, they truely BITE.

Especially Peter, he is still a member of youth, a minority. He is definitely not the ideal victim, and for that, despite being groomed, asked for nudes as a 14 year old. He did not back down, he yelled, he fought. He was not the perfect victim, he did not quiet down. He responded to his abuse different than I ever had, he did not become a poseable doll who you can take your frustration out on and still get perfect quiet responses from, he bared his claws, and I'm honestly proud for him.

Victims do not need to be quiet, they don't need to shut their mouths and take it, they don't need to just pretend it didn't happen. They're allowed to yell, and fight, they get that right, they don't own you being nice after going through hell, or if your putting them through hell, especially not to their abuser.

You've made me question if I am pro-recovery for all. I am no longer sure I am, not in this way, not in this everlasting only forgiveness way.

I am anti-prison, but I think I am pro-public/social justice. I am anti-locking people away, but I am pro-victims standing their ground.

It's all made me question my part in my community, how many of you like me because I am the quiet victim, I know I shake when yelled at, I back down when threatened, I keep my head hung low and let it happen, I keep quiet, still. How many will get pissed when I bring it up, when I talk to you honestly? How many of you will send me to suicide when I stop averting my eyes?

Here's a rent lowering statement : we are not in an ideal world.

We are not in an ideal world where racism, ableism, ageism, ect doesn't exist.

I'm pro-this, I'm pro-that. Okay? Will that work on a mass scale in the current social climate?

right now I'll focus on pro-c maps, but this applies to alot in this community.

In this current climate, if we are pro-c maps, will this not be taking advantage of? Will youth have the ability to reach out in their situations and take control? Will there be no way of a power embalance?

No. Not because youth are lesser. I know what you'll claim I'm saying. But because youth is a minority, a minority with not enough rights or education to combat their abusers.

A minority who are taught from a young age to give their abusers what they want, because if not there's consequences. A minority who are taught from a young age that they cannot speak out without punishment. A minority who is taught what happens to adults is fundamentally their fault. Who risk familial isolation, even peer isolation when coming out on abuse. Who risk societal judgement. Who risk corporal punishment. Who aren't listen to. Aren't taken serious. Can be thrown into homes they did not choose at any point. Can be sent to places they do not want to go at any point. Shipped in containers like mail, sold, used as slaves.

I'm pro-youth lib. Anti-c in this current social climate.

Because youth as a minority have had their right to consent taken away in more serious ways than just laws, and until these ways are changed, no adult and minor relationship can truely be equal. Not one with an agegap of 14 and 21.

This applies to more than just youth. This applies to alot of things. Can we really accept everyone? Can we really be pro-every identity? Or is that too vague? What happens when we give people at a mass scale the ability to identify as a abuser? What happebs when we beleive people are recovered at a mass scale with no evidence?

These aren't my only problems with this community, I think you all have a problem with promoting people getting worse. Parts of my mental health was absolutely over accepted by this community. I think you all forget some mentally disabled people don't have the ability to consent when they truely get deep into it. I certainly don't and cannot consent. Nevermind how you all treat boundaries especially around people in relationships. This is not the post for that.

I don't know if I want to be apart of this community anymore. Not after revisiting this all. Not after reliving the worst parts of this community. I've been here before. I HAVE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE!!! It makes me sick. I don't want to co-exist with abusers and real life predators just because "all communities have their bad parts". I don't care if it means I have to hide myself. I don't want to! I've never wanted to!

We'll see, maybe I'll change my mind.

Probably not. I'll likely keep this account, but I don't think I'll ever truely feel comfortable in this community again.

Sayonara you weeaboo shits, mentally I'm out. Even if I answer asks or make posts after this.

And to anyone following me, this doesn't mean I hate you, if you have done nothing wrong this is not an attack on YOU. I just cannot co-exist with abusers who get off free anymore. No thank you.

Radqueer community completely ruined my perception of what's right and what's wrong to the point i now cant tell anymore if an adult is being predatory to me or if they're just friendly. I thought it was the only community that can understand me and treat me like a human being rather than an object but it took me so long to realize i was objectified by so many creepy adults in it

I also hate when people say all radqueers are evil and fucked up when majority of the community is just kids with past trauma idk, im just upset rn i wish i could go back to it but now i know it's dangerous. I think only one adult in the entire community reached out and warned me when i was actively posting abt my groomer at the time and everyone else supported our weird fucked up "relationship". I have to go to therapy for this bullshit now. It ruined everything i like. i hate my life i hate that nobody said a single word and i hate that people encouraged me to get worse, sometimes in the name of "transid transition" Fuck all of those so called responsible adults. I actually need professional help i can't stop thinking about what happened and how it took me months to realize im not doing okay