Chef Katrina

"I" have a fucking Percy Jackson backpack, because fuck you.

I usually just think about it opening and it opens. Other than that it's just a small satchel and my pockets.

Backpack.

I just clip stuff into my face and spit it out when I need it.

Anything I can't fit in my satchel or would need on-hand, I store it in my book, at my camp.

I goot big pockets tae keep stuff in.

Oy! Nae shooting up oourrr rrresturraunt! Ye could bring tha place- [Kat cringes as the beam the bolt struck starts to groan, slowly snap, and bring a chunk of the wall crashing down on top of a few tables.} -Tae tha grrroond...

Aye, just a minute. [After a few minutes, some fresh-made noodles with plenty of seasoning is presented in a huge and surprisingly nice, if chipped, china bowl}

Hello.

Hi Luce

[Luce sits down too]

[Lupe walks over to the table] Hello, what's your order? @epprbcu-shipping

I think I'll have the breadsticks again

I'll have the same!

KAT! two plates of breadstick for table 4! @exclamcook

Tessa! Oh, I'm glad yer up, lass. Lupe just came stumbling in oout of tha coold, an she's sick. I've go' it coverrred foorr tha most parrt, but she said she wants ye. Unskilled's coming ooverr tuu, so once he's here cuud I pick ye up? Just got that new bike so it'll be quick.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, that sounds good.

Great. I'll see ye in a bit, then.

See you in a bit.

[Maybe an hour or so later, there's a knock at the door.}

Eh. She's not terribly sick, but the puir thing's got a nasty fever. And Unskilled is there. Ye ken hou he is, even at tha best o' times.

[Tessa just nods.]

Alright, is therrre anthing ye need to gatherrr befoorre we go? And as a heid's uup, we'll be stopping along the way tae pick something up tae get Unskilled tae stop scratching at those damn wounds they refuse tae do anything about.

Uhhhhhhhhhh. No, I don't really need to bring anything. And they really haven't done anything about the wounds? Jesus.

Nope. Starting tae think it'll have tae be a repeat of last time they were overrr. Jaysus, this is why he neverrr visits, isn't i'? Anyway, we should go befoorre they set tha hoose on firrre.

Yeah, I agree.

Guud news, tha new bike's a bit bigger than the oold one was. Shud be a wee bit moorrre comfortable tae ride behind me. Still got yer oold helmet?

Grrreat. Well, let's go. [Kat goes back to the motorcycle and gets on, putting on her helmet while she waits for Tessa.}

Aye, I missed the feeling... This one's got cool wheels, they'rrre attached with electromagnetics instead of shocks, it's rrreal smuuth. [She revs the engine, and they're off}

Oh shit, you're right. This is smooth.

[Kat laughs} Allrrright. Just gotta swing by fantasy Wallgreens an' then I can give ye tu yer girrrlfrriend.

Aye, a weeird plant ladey popped uup an' toold me. Lupe was embarrrassed tuu.

Did you say a weird plant lady? She followed Lupe and I to my house, a while ago. That was. Bizarre, to say the least.

Mhm, sorrey aboout that... Weel, here's fantasey Wallgrreen's, I'll be right back. [she heads inside, and comes back a few minutes later with a grocery sack that she tosses in one of the side boxes on the bike.} Okay, shuudn't be tuu much longerrr until we'rrre home.

How do you think Lupe and Unskilled are holding up?

Either we'll get home and theyre crrrying ooverr shared memorries orrr they'rrre fighting like we'rrre still on tha clock.

I know, it's a shame... Moreso that this is what it takes tae get us togetherrrr.

..Yeah. We should really get together more often.

Aye, that we shud. Alrrright, therrre's me hoose, doon't se smoke, that's a guud sign..

Let's hope the inside is in one piece too.

[Kat tries to coast to a stop in the driveway, but has to hit the brakes when it goes further than she expected.} Weel, gonna have tae get used tae hou she handles... Anyway, let's head in, make sure Lupe and Unskilled are getting along.

[Tessa takes off her helmet and nods.]

I'm being perfectly reasonable and normal thank you very much.

Tessa‽

Aye, she's with me! [Kat steps inside and gets out of the way so Tessa can get to Lupe}

Yeah.. I might be a bit sick though.. [as lupe comes closer it becomes clear that there is blood seeping through the legs of her current clothes]

Just a little bit. A teeny tiny bit. Barring the copious amounts of blood, of course.

Penelope! What in tha worrrld happened tae ye, dear?! An' why did ye no' tell me?!

I might have fallen.. a bit. while I was lost. And I might have hid it because you always get really worried, and I didn't want you more worried. but it hurts really bad now.

Lupe, lass, ye knoow it oonley makes things worse when ye duu tha'! Sit doon in tha kitchen, take yer pants ooff befoorre ye stain them any moorre, I'll go get tha first-aid kit.

Can. Can I go home now.

I mean yeah but I. I do kinda sorta really wanna go home. So. Uh.

Fine, fine, but come back tomorrrrow, we need tae start figurrring oout hou tae make Lupe's neu home.

Okay, can you hurry up and help?

What happened in the first place?

Ooh, tha' cannae be guud. Weel, this is going tae sting, hoold oon. [She pulls out disinfectant and a small disposable wipe, soaks the latter, and starts applying it to the wounds}