reading fan fics, living life

The train station was fairly quiet that Sunday morning. Two boys were waiting patiently on a bench for a train that announced to arrive half an hour late.

"Thanks again for helping me pick up my cousin, Stiles."

The boy shrugged as if to say no big deal.

The three of them used to be really close friends as little kids. She used to visit every summer vacation. They did everything together; go to the beach, cycle around the neighborhood, go for ice cream. Y/N and Scott used to make a competition out of everything. Who can make the better sandcastle? Who can finish their ice cream fastest?  Stiles was usually asked to be the referee which stressed him to no end because he didn't want to choose between his two best friends. It always ended in one of them being upset, although they never held a grudge for long.

But then Y/N got older, and Scott's parents got divorced; so change inevitably happened. She stopped visiting and Stiles hasn't really heard from her ever since. Scott would update him every once in a while. She cut her hair, had changed her style. She has a cat now. She picked up photography. She changed her style again.

Stiles wondered if he could pick her up from a crowd now that four years had passed since the last time he'd seen her. They weren't kids anymore. He wondered if she still did that cute thing when she'd smile with just one corner of her mouth like she was trying to hide it but couldn't help it. Or if she still twirled her hair around her index finger when she thought about something really hard.

The sound of an old lady making an announcement over the speakers jolted Stiles awake from his reverie. The train was about to arrive in 5 minutes. Finally.

"I don't want to sound ungrateful, it's just… will you promise me something, Stiles?" he nodded in response. "Promise you won't make it weird with Y/N being back?"

"Dude, it's been forever. I forgot I even used to have a crush on her. Plus I'm loyal to Lydia these days."

"She doesn't even remember your name," Scott pointed exasperated.

"Who? Lydia or Y/N?

Scott laughed. Stiles having a crush on his cousin wasn't gonna make a difference because she'd never like him back anyway. She didn't seem much into romance. One time a boy kissed her cheek at a birthday party and she hit him over the head with a pool noodle until he started crying. She used to chase guys around with bugs or worms in her hand and they would scream and scatter. She'd laugh about it. Stiles tried to compliment her once and she punched him in the arm so hard he fell over.

She used to punch him in the arm a lot actually, now that he thought about it. So much so that his shoulder area was in an almost constant dull pain while she was visiting. Stiles never thought he'd miss the pain until Scott told him she wasn't coming over that summer.

But now she was back. Scott says she's been getting into a lot of trouble lately and that her parents don't know what to do with her anymore. He's overheard phone conversations between his mom and Y/N's and the situation is dire. She says that sending her away is an alarm signal and if she doesn't start behaving now they'll need to take serious measures. Stiles had no idea what "serious measures" meant, but it couldn't be good. Yet another reason why Stiles shouldn't couldn't have a crush on her. She was gonna disappear again.

The train had finally made it to the station and small rivulets of people started pouring out with their suitcases and trolley bags. Stiles spotted Y/N with such ease he surprised himself.

She looked the exact same as he remembered. She looked nothing like she used to. Both statements were true at the same time. There was something about her – her eyes, her smile, that Stiles recognized immediately. Like you recognize the first few notes of your favorite song before it really starts playing. She was the same old girl who left Beacon Hills four years ago, yet she was brand new somehow.

She gave Scott a hug then he grabbed a few of her bags and started helping her carry them to the jeep parked nearby. Stiles debated whether or not to go in for a hug, but halfway through it he chickened out and pretended he was just leaning in for her backpack since it was the last piece of her luggage.

"It's fine," she assured him seeming mildly annoyed. "I got this one."

Of course she'd give Scott a hug, they're related and have kept in touch all this time. To her Stiles was just some kid she used to play with who had a massive and painfully obvious crush on her. He cringed internally thinking about all the times she caught him staring at her and she rolled her eyes or flipped him off. She was probably angry at Scott for bringing him here.

"Scotty?"

"You only call me that when you want something."

"Can I get shotgun? I'll get a better view and I want to take pictures."

She pulled out of her jean jacket's pocket a small digital camera and gave a lopsided smile. Yes, Stiles thought, she still did that.  Scott just pointed towards the front seat with his chin and jumped in the back of the jeep.

Stiles did his best to hide how nervous he was now that he wasn't just sharing a car with his first-ever crush, but she was gonna be in the front of the car with him. He was grateful his mom owned a jeep and not something tiny like a mini Cooper. Because then the half-hour-long drive would turn into pure torture.

They recounted stories on the way and laughed and Y/N took so many pictures. Some of them while hanging half out of the car, almost giving Stiles a heart attack in the process; some of them were artsy shots of the dashboard or the rearview mirror. She even took a picture of Stiles while he was driving, causing him to take one hand off the wheel to cover his face self-consciously. She berated him for putting them in danger but she laughed while doing it so she didn't really mean it.

"If I die in this car cause you wanted to be coy I'll haunt your ass," she says as she snaps another shot of him, this time both his hands were on the steering wheel.

"If we die in this car it'll be because you put a camera in the driver's face."

"The flash isn't even on." She turned around and took a picture of Scott next. Stiles saw him giving an awkward thumbs up in the rearview mirror. "Now that's more like it."

Stiles saw in the corner of his eye the camera turning towards him once again and he flipped her off without thinking. He immediately felt bad for it. Few years ago she would have flipped him off right back and laughed about it but they weren't twelve and best friends anymore. He needed to remind himself of that.

As Y/N went quiet for a second inspecting the picture she just took on the tiny screen of her camera, Stiles chewed on his lips and debated between apologizing sincerely or trying to play it off as a joke.

"Look Y/N, I'm sorry–" he started but got interrupted.

"This is actually really good, can I post this?"

Stiles had no idea Y/N posted her picture somewhere on the internet. She didn't have an instagram or facebook, he knew because he's looked for her. Some people may call it cyberstalking; he'd call it being curious. He even asked Scott when he got desperate and Scott said she doesn't really do social media. Sometimes she'd text Scott a really cool picture she took and if Stiles was there he'd show it to him. He always assumed the pictures were just for herself or maybe a portfolio if she planned on doing this professionally one day.

"Look you can't even see your face– if that's what you're worried about."

She turned the camera around for him to look just as they pulled over in Scott's driveway. The camera focused on Stiles' hand, which was strategically covering his face, and the rest of him was blurred and hardly recognizable. Stiles wouldn't call that a good picture but he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel flattered that Y/N wanted to post a picture of him on her social media.

"Sure, I don't mind."

"Thanks! And thanks for picking me up, too. My cousin is too lazy to get a driver's license."

"Oh, really? Where's yours?"

"I had one but my parents took it because I got caught sneaking out at night. I'll get it back in a few months."

They helped Y/N haul her luggage all the way up into the attic, where Ms. McCall arranged a makeshift bedroom for her. Stiles recognized the bedframe because it was Scott's years ago before he got the one he has in his room now. The mattress looked new and so did the bed sheets. They stood out in an otherwise very old, dusty room. It was clear Scott's mom made an effort to clean up but the attic was beyond salvation at that point. The room looked good but in the corners there were still some boxes of things the family kept stored away. There were cobwebs and water damage to the walls and ceiling.

Stiles thought there was a metaphor in there somewhere for an attic trying to double as a bedroom, trying to be something it's not. An attic being representative of all that is old and out of use but you hold unto it for sentimentality. Like a childhood crush; something familiar and comforting that won't go anywhere but throwing it away feels like a betrayal.

It reminded him that no matter how much you brushed off the dust of something old, it still doesn't make it work as if it's new. The past stays in the past and we have to move forward. Some things can not be brought back.

"Thanks again for the help," Y/N chimed in interrupting his train of thought.

Her hand brushed his as she grabbed her backpack from his hand and gently placed it on her bed. He felt a familiar shiver buzz through him. Starting from the very point her fingertips made contact with his skin and going everywhere at once.

Some things stay in the past and some things stay with you forever.

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Stiles nervously fiddled with the buttons of his jacked before hitting his car’s horn the first time. He’s talked to Y/N and promised he’d pick her up for the party they were all going to since Scott wanted to pick Allison up and spend some one-on-one time with her. How this girl agreed on going to a party with his dorky best friend was beyond him.

The boy found himself checking his own reflection in his rearview mirror multiple times before honking a second time, just to make sure he was heard.

Y/N had moved to Beacon Hills three weeks and five days ago (not that Stiles was counting or anything). He was finally managing to be normal in her presence, at least when Scott or some other person was around them. Still, knowing there was only gonna be the two of them in his car with no buffer made him nervous. Stiles had a penchant for shoving his foot in his mouth every time he found himself alone in this girl’s presence. It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so mortifying.

One time they were alone for all of five minutes, he and Scott were helping her unpack and shuffle some furniture around (there wasn’t a lot of it in her room/attic). Scott took a break to go to the bathroom. Stiles was shelving books while on the other end of the room, Y/N was unpacking and sorting out clothes. She pulled a cute sundress out of a box and tried it against her body for a second, looking in the mirror mounted on the wardrobe.

“I don’t know why I brought this with me, it’s gonna get too cold in the fall for this."

She still hung the dress on a clothes hanger with a disappointed look on her face.

“I’m sure it looks good on you. My mom used to wear dresses like that.”

Stiles let his head fall on the steering wheel, feeling embarrassment wash over him like it was happening all over again. He accidentally touched the horn a third time and jumped at the sound. Is he gonna seem impatient now that he’s honked three times? Fuck, he didn’t even get to see her and he already messed up.

At least it’s better than comparing her to his dead mother. Holy shit, does he not think before opening his mouth in front of her? My mom used to wear dresses like that. What a dumbass. Now she’s gonna assume he thinks of her like a mother figure –he doesn’t– or that he’s into her because she reminds him of his mother – she doesn’t. Either option made Stiles want to drive into a lake.

Deep in thought he almost didn’t hear the knocking on his car’s window. It was Y/N and she was wearing a red flannel over a graphic t-shirt with a comic book speech bubble that said ‘I’m fluent in sarcasm’, Melisa McCall was behind her snuggled in a comfy looking house robe.

Stiles leaned towards the car door and cracked it open from the inside as much as he could. If he was smarter he would have come out of the car and opened the door for her from the outside. And Y/N would find it charming and sweet, maybe it would make up for all the time he was less than charming or sweet. He thought about it before getting here but he got taken by surprise by Scott’s mom and then it suddenly felt like he would be trying too hard if he did that. He didn’t want to make it so obvious that he wanted this girl’s approval.

Ultimately that was what Stiles was chasing; approval. It’s not like he was gonna get a date or at least a kiss. Y/N was there temporarily and then she’d be gone and everything would have to go back to normal. Anything serious or permanent, anything they couldn’t go back from was out of the question. And Stiles had the feeling Y/N wasn’t the type of girl you kiss once only to walk away. So he settled for her to at least look at him like she wanted to kiss him and that would have to be enough.

Yeah, for him it would be enough.

Y/N made herself comfortable in the passenger seat, smoothing over her clothes when Melisa grabbed the car door and widened it, peaking her head in slightly.

“Make sure to look after her, ok Stiles? I’m trusting you to keep her safe.”

“Or you can come with us and keep an eye on her yourself, ma’am,” Stiles joked. “You’d blend right in.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

She rolled her eyes in fake annoyance but Stiles noticed a slight smile tugging at her lips.

“I mean it, I want you on your best behavior.”

“Yes ma’am,” Stiles quipped nodding his head towards the woman.

She leaned inside the car and fastened Y/N’s seatbelt on tightly. He expected the girl to protest or at least roll her eyes but she just gave her aunt a kiss on the cheek and a smile.

“And you, remember what your parents told you?”

“Promise I’ll be good, auntie. Besides you asked Stiles to babysit me and you know he’s such an angel.”

Melissa let out a snort and waved her hand goodbye as the two teenagers drove away.

Y/N jokingly called him an angel and he couldn’t help but think that his mother also used to do that. Every time he got himself into trouble, or detention, or he broke a vase; she’d call him her little angel and help clean whatever mess he was in.

He couldn’t say anything about that, though, if he compared her to his mother twice in a row he would simply jump out of the car while it was still in motion. If the friend zone was so dreaded by men everywhere, imagine what being son zoned will do to you.

Another thought crossed his mind and Stiles tried to shove it away before it was too late. He was unsuccessful. The last time Y/N was in Beacon Hills, his mom was still alive. He would give everything to go back to that place in time. Sell his soul to the devil to be twelve again and in love with his friend and have his mom tease him for it like before. He used to hate it. He’d get all red in the face and tell her to mind her own business.

“My son’s love life is my business,” she’d say.

“What love life? I have no love life.”

“Not now, but when you’re older I want you to know that you can talk to me about it.”

And then he’d make a face because the mere thought of talking to his mom about feelings towards girls and boys felt so embarrassing. Now he would kill for a chance to talk to his mom again and ask her something as mundane as what to do about his crush.

He stopped at a red light a bit too suddenly, causing both of them to sway in their seat. Stiles felt the familiar ache of trying to hold back tears, he tried looking up and when that didn’t work he let out a sigh. It would have been just like him to cry for no reason in front of the girl he liked.

“What’s wrong, Stiles?”

Y/N said his name softly, like a secret. He involuntarily held his breath as he felt her hand creep on top of his on the gear stick.

 “Nothing,” he found himself lying in spite of his glistening eyes.

Under any other circumstances, he would have just told Y/N the truth; that he was thinking about his mother. But he promised himself he would not mention her tonight, not so soon after the last time they spoke.

“We don’t have to go to this stupid party if you don’t want to. We can just go to your place and play some scrabble or we could read some comics and when you’re sick of me you can drop me home.”

Her thumb was rubbing the back of his hand and it affected Stiles more than it should for such an insignificant gesture.

“No, it’ll be good for you to go to a party. You know, meet kids outside of school, make some friends that aren’t me and Scott.”

He removed his gaze from the road to look at her, really look for the first time since she got in his car. He searched for a word that described her properly. The only one he could come up with was disarming. The kind of beauty that makes knights throw down their weapons and surrender, the kind that would make him kneel and beg. Except that Stiles was no knight in shining armor and the only weapon he was wielding was his wit. No wonder he forgot how to speak around her, how to be clever. She was disarming him.

 The light changed from red to green and it didn’t make her look sickly– like he expected but ethereal, otherworldly. Disarmingly beautiful, he thought.

“Stiles, go,” she whispered.

It took Stiles an embarrassing amount of seconds to realize what she was talking about. Green light. Go. When he finally managed to shift gears, the girl took her hand off of his and he immediately felt the loss of heat.

“You got lost in your thoughts again. You know, whenever you feel ready to talk about whatever is bothering you, I’m here.”

The words `really, I’m fine` were dancing on his lips once again. After all, how could he ever tell her that more often than not he lost himself in thoughts of her? Instead, he surprised himself by saying something else entirely.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

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The music at the party was too loud and not really Stiles’ taste. Inside the house it smelled like booze and sweaty teenagers so he grabbed Y/N’s arm and gently dragged her after him all the way to Lydia’s backyard, where her pool was. Normally at parties, Stiles sits in a corner and talks to whoever will listen, mostly other socially awkward nerdy kids, they tended to find each other easily. But this time he found himself swaying to the music alongside Y/N wondering if he could try and pinch himself without making it super obvious.

To be fair, if this was a dream they’d probably be making out by now.

He saw Y/N leaning in closer and closer to the point where he honestly thought she was going in for a kiss, and then he felt her breath to his ear. She smelled like something sweet (berries?) and she was radiating heat. Stiles shivered. He was too dazed to decipher what was being said and, by the time he came back to his senses, she leaned away.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

She leaned in even closer this time propping a hand against his chest, and instead of whispering her words came out more like a shout.

“I’m gonna go grab us some drinks, ok?”

Without checking if Stiles understood what was being said this time she walked away and the boy found himself in the all too familiar position he usually ends up in at parties. He looked around for something to do while waiting for Y/N, wondering if he should’ve just gone with her inside.

Maybe she needed a second away from him. Maybe he was giving her the creeps. He liked to think that he was hiding his crush pretty well – yeah, he was awkward around her but so was he around everybody. He just wasn’t that good at the whole socializing thing.

While looking around for a corner to hide in, Stiles spotted his best friend dancing with Alison. He made a b-line towards them.

“Stiles, where’s Y/N?”

“She’s gone to get a drink. How are you holding up?”

He didn’t know how else to phrase the question without raising suspicion. Hey, Scott, how are you dealing with the first full moon since you’ve been bitten by a werewolf? That would send Allison running. But his friend knew exactly what he meant, he could tell by the look he gave him.

Stiles found it hard to believe that only a few days ago he thought the hardest thing for him to do this year would be hiding his feelings from his crush and his best friend. Now he’s gonna have to help said friend hide his werewolf side from… well, everybody. Spending time alone with Y/N in his car didn’t seem so daunting in retrospect.

“I’m fine,” Scott said, but Stiles didn’t buy it.

He was going to offer to go after Y/N and get a drink for him. Maybe that would drown out the wolf, but then again it might bring it to the surface. Better not to risk it.

Deep in thought, Stiles didn’t realize Y/N had made her way back to his side with two drinks in hand until suddenly her arms wrapped around him and she whispered something in his ear. He must have misheard her or fully hallucinated because there was no way that what she said was real.

“Hold me like you can’t get enough of me.”

Her arms were now holding him tighter and Stiles could feel the can of soda in her hand pressing against the back of his neck. It was cold and probably the only thing keeping him from melting in Y/N’s arms.

He hugged her back, unsure of where to place his hands at first. He decided one in the space between her shoulder blades and one right above her hip. He squeezed her gently, unable to shake the feeling that his hand fit perfectly in the dip of her waist. She leaned once again like she was trying to whisper something in his ear but this time Stiles placed his head on her shoulder, resting his forehead there in order to make it easier for her to tell him things.

“I’m gonna let go now, but leave one arm around me.”

Stiles breathed in her berry scent and let out a sigh. She was letting go too soon. He didn’t remember the last time he got a hug like this, full-bodied, as tight as it can get, feel it in your heart type of hug. When she let go it felt like somebody removed a rib from his chest.

As per her instructions, his hand remained firmly above her hip and although five minutes ago he’d kill to be this close to her, now it wasn’t close enough.

When he looked back from Y/N to Scott and Allison they had matching shocked expressions.

“Did I miss something important?” Scott asked perplexed and Stiles heard the barely contained anger simmering below the surface.

“Just a guy hitting on me at the punch bowl. I figured if he saw me with some other guy he’d give up. Men are like wolves that way, they respect each other’s territories.”

Stiles didn’t miss the irony of Y/N comparing men to wolves to her cousin, an actual wolf. He smirked and hoped she didn’t see it.

“Allison, is the guy in the lime green shirt still looking at me?”

Allison subtly looked towards the doorway over Y/N’s shoulder. She let out a tsk and gave the girl an apologetic smile. He must still be looking.

“Do you want me to talk to him, Y/N?” Scott nearly growled.

Scott was not-so-subtly glaring in the same direction as Allison was a second ago.

“Down boy,” Y/N joked. “Since when are you Mr. Though Guy?”

Stiles caught the yellow flash of Scott’s eyes for a second and felt the dread of the truth being out. He told Scott not to come to this stupid party, not on a full fucking moon. But does he ever listen to his smart and reasonable friend? Nooo.

Scott looked like he was about to transform when Y/N did something brilliant. She downed her drink in one big gulp and pushed her cousin into the pool behind him, falling with him in the process. The water splashed both Stiles and Allison, who let out an undignified squeak.

It worked. Scott seemed back to his normal self if a little peeved for being pushed in the pool. He pulled one arm all the way back, then hit the water at full force, splashing as much as he could directly at Y/N. She retaliated. Allison gave Stiles a nudge and pointed at the two playing in the pool as if to say “Look at these two idiots”. And he didn’t realize it at the moment but they both had a similar love struck expression pasted on their faces.

A couple other brave teenagers jumped in the pool after Y/N inspired them. Stiles tried to shield his face from all the water splashing in all directions. Suddenly he felt a soaking wet hand grab at his ankle.

“Y/N, no! It’s cold as shit tonight!”

She let go and flipped him off. The pool was getting crowded so the girl lifted herself out of it with surprising ease. She took her shirt off and did her best to wrangle out any water in it.

Stiles forgot how to breathe. One moment he was with his friends at the party having fun and the very next it’s just him and Y/N left in the whole world and she is shirtless and he can see her bra and her stomach and that dip where her waist meets her hip. He licks his lips desperately trying to find the strength to look away.

Three seconds. He gives himself three seconds to admire her and then he’s gonna turn around and forget what he’d seen.

One…

Two…

Three– Was that motherfucker who was bothering her earlier still there? Was he also staring at her body with the same hunger in his eyes? And if he was; how was Stiles any better than him?

He turns around to look for him, with no idea what he actually looks like but Y/N mentioned a lime green shirt and that’s hard to miss. All of a sudden he felt something cold and wet hit him in the back. It was Y/N’s shirt that she was brandishing like a whip. He saw her twisting it again and going for a second hit, which he dodged.

“You’re relentless,” he laughs but he’s pretty sure she didn’t hear it since the music was still blaring at full volume.

He took off his own jacket and draped it across her shoulders, surprised by the amount of heat her body was radiating still. As his hands gently brushed against her skin he expected it to be ice cold, but it felt feverish to the touch.

She couldn’t have caught a cold that fast, could she?

“Are you feeling ok?” he asked, the back of his hand brushing the side of her face trying to gauge her temperature.

“Yeah, I just run hot.”

She shook off the excess water in her hair in a dog-like manner. Stiles took a step back. He took the shirt from Y/N’s hand and tried to squeeze a few more drops of water out of it. When he looked back at her, his jacket was buttoned up and fully covering her. The boy decided that he liked this look on her even better.

He wasn’t sure what to feel more guilt over; how much he liked seeing Y/N half naked or the satisfaction he felt seeing her wearing his clothes. He had no right to be possessive over her but the thought popped into his head regardless: Let green shirt guy top this.

“Are you gonna give me your pants, too?” Y/N asked with a grin.

Stiles realized he must have been staring like an idiot this whole time and maybe the filthy things he was thinking were etched on his face. But if they were, Y/N didn’t seem to hate him just yet.

“Please, you’re gonna have to work harder than that to get in my pants.”

The girl laughed. A genuine and lighthearted sound that made Stiles’ heart stop for a beat. He was afraid his joke wasn’t gonna be received well, but Y/N has always been the type of person who can take a joke.

He gave the girl a once over, examining the still very wet state of her with worry.

“What am I gonna tell Melisa?” he wondered out loud.

“That we had fun, nerd.”

She punched his shoulder lightly and Stiles couldn’t stop a small smile from forming on his lips. There was still hope. They could still be friends like before and tease each other and have fun. In spite of his ever growing fondness for her, they could still salvage what remained of their friendship. And maybe Stiles would survive this trial like he survived everything that came before it.

“Let’s get you inside before you catch a cold.”

Stiles looked back at Scott and Alison but they were playing in the pool together and he didn’t want to interrupt their date any more than he already had. He put a hand on Y/N’s back to gently guide her inside the house.

If anybody asks, he did it to make sure she doesn’t run off back into the pool. If anybody pressed him on the matter, it’s because he just loves being so close to her. But if he was wholly honest, his hand just ended up there without him thinking about it, like muscle memory, like he had done it a thousand times before.

Once inside she ran for the kitchen to get another drink and Stiles followed her because he didn’t want to risk green shirt guy appearing again.

He watched her pour straight vodka in her red solo cup and down it like it was nothing. Is that what she had in her cup earlier, too? And if that was the case, how was she still standing up? Two full glasses of vodka would have sent Stiles to the hospital.

The boy remembered what Scott said, that Y/N had some issues and that’s why her parents sent her away. Were her issues alcohol related? And if so then was he enabling her right now?

Stiles took the now empty cup and cleaned it a little in the sink before refilling it with water.

“Thanks me for this tomorrow,” he says while handing her the cup back.

The girl rolled her eyes a little but she took the plastic cup with her to the living room where a bunch of kids were sitting in a circle, playing truth or dare. She elbowed Stiles in the ribs and pointed in their direction with her chin. At first Stiles thought she was pointing at the circle as a whole but then he realized she was pointing at one person in particular. Lydia Martin.

“Wanna play?” she gave him a knowing grin.

How would she know about Lydia? he never said a word. Unless…

“Scott. He told you.”

Scott used to update Stiles on what was new in Y/N’s life semi-regularly. If she was dating somebody, if she made any big changes to her look, if she got in trouble, Stiles knew about it. Not that he was asking, it usually just came about.

“Hey Scott, who are you texting?”

“Just Y/N. She got a new camera, look.”

And he’d show him a picture. It was a selfie in a mirror, but her face was fully obscured by the bulky camera she was holding. He noticed a picture of the three of them when they were kids stuck in the corner of her mirror. He remember when they took that picture, they were at a public pool and Y/N was wearing a Disney princess swimsuit, which made Stiles jealous because he wanted one too but they only made them for girls.

Or.

He remembered one time he came over to Scott’s house to study together for an exam and when he got there his friend was on the phone.

“One second, Stiles is here,” he took a pause like he was listening to something on the other side. “Y/N says hi.”

“Tell her I said hi, too?”

“Stiles says he loves you and can’t stay away from you any longer. He’s moving next door to you this week–”

Then Scott got cut off by the pillow Stiles threw in his face. He laughed as he ran a hand through his hair to put it back in place, phone still glued to his ear.

“Well, your boyfriend can cry about it. I think he’s kind of a dick anyway.”

Stiles had no idea she had a boyfriend until then. And he felt stupid for assuming she’d be as chronically single as he was. With her wit and charm boys were probably standing in line waiting for a chance.

He had never stopped to ponder the idea that Scott was probably telling her things about him, too. Like how he got diagnosed with ADHD and got put on meds, or the fact that he had an unhealthy obsession with Lydia Martin, the most popular girl in school.

What does Y/N know about Stiles that he’s never shared? Scott wasn’t a gossip, he certainly hadn’t shared any gory details, right? Like Stiles knew Y/N had a boyfriend and that Scott didn’t like him, but he didn’t have any idea why. Scott never gave him a reason for why he disliked him and Stiles never asked because he assumed it would be too personal to share.

He probably had only mentioned it off-hand like:

“Oh, yeah, Stiles has a crush on this girl he has no chance with.”

Y/N had said something back like: “Yeah, he does that a lot.”

And they both laughed at him.

Stiles looked back between Lydia and Y/N wondering if he actually has a type after all, and it’s girls who wouldn’t look at him twice.

Y/N was looking at him quizzically and he remembered that she had asked him a question which he hadn’t answered because he’s been trapped by his own self-doubt and anxieties.

“Sure,” he finally murmurs. “But you gotta drink all of this first.”

He pointed at the red cup full of water in her hand, which he presumed she only took to shut him up and wasn’t planning on touching the rest of the night. But she looked at the cup and then at the circle of people that were now cheering on a guy who dropped ice down his pants, then took a few big gulps of her water, finishing it before the ice melted.

“Hey, got room for two more players?” she asked a little louder than she needed because the music wasn’t blaring as loud in the room they were in as it did outside.

Some guy whooped and patted a spot next to him on the floor. The two of them took that as an invitation and sat down. A blonde girl, Stiles was pretty sure her name was Malia, got dared to remove an item of clothing and they all watched in awe as she removed her bra from underneath her shirt, then flung it like a slingshot at the guy who dared her in the first place.

They kept going in a circle, spinning a bottle to determine who was asking or daring who. Every time somebody picked truth there was a girl who determined how honest you were, her name was Cora and everyone in the circle swore up and down that she was psychic. Now that he knew werewolves were a real thing, Stiles couldn’t really scoff at the idea of a psychic girl. And everybody kept insisting “trust me, we played a bunch of times with her and she always knows”.

So when his turn came he picked truth out of curiosity, to see if he could lie to a mind-reader. Also because most of the dares were raunchy or embarrassing and Stiles didn’t think he could take making a fool of himself in front of both Lydia and Y/N.

“What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex in?”

Fuck.

“The…” he took a second like he was remembering something. “Back of my jeep.”

Stiles hoped that telling a very mild lie that made him seem boring was probably his best bet to getting away with it. Anything bolder and even a non-psychic would be able to tell he was full of it. He felt his heart hammer in his chest as Cora’s eyes narrowed as if she were searching for something inside him.

“Bullshit,” she declared.

Double fuck.

“I’ve never…” he felt too embarrassed to finish the sentence. He looked up at the ceiling like he was annoyed at the question and not utterly humiliated.

The only way out is through, he thought.

“I’m a virgin.”

Oohs and aahs were heard from the group of kids. Stiles tried his absolute best not to look at Y/N. He was desperate to know what she thought about him in that moment. Did her opinion of him change at all? Did she think he was a loser? Did she already know? Did Scott tell her?

Lydia looked completely unbothered but that didn’t surprise Stiles. She probably didn’t even know his name until Y/N said it at some point during the night. Jackson was right next to her looking smug as always and Stiles just knew he was gonna give him grief for this later, during lacrosse practice or in the locker room.

He tried to play it cool like it was no big deal, but his face was burning hot. He knew, intellectually, that the average age of losing one’s virginity in America was 18.4, so he wasn’t falling behind by any means. Yet still, he felt like he was missing out on something. Especially since Scott started dating Allison because he knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be the only virgin in his friend group. The more the clock was ticking the harder it will be for him to find someone who didn’t think it was weird. And then before he’d know it he’d be 35 having never felt the touch of a woman because his type was utterly unavailable.

“New girl, truth or dare?”

Y/N spun the bottle and it landed on the same guy who dared Malia to take off her bra. Somebody in the circle murmured ‘careful’ but Stiles couldn’t pinpoint who exactly said it. He knew exactly why they said it though. That guy had creep written all over him. Everything he said to the girls was an innuendo, he was undressing them with his eyes, unashamed of it too, he was so clearly playing this game trying to get some kind of action.

“Dare.”

The shit eating grin on that guy’s face made the hair on Stiles' arm stand up. He finally had the guts to look at Y/N again, considering enough time had passed between Cora’s question and now that it didn’t look like he desperately wanted to see her reaction. She looked fierce and determined as always. As if she wasn’t at the mercy of this guy’s perverted mind.

“Give someone in this circle a hickey.”

Stiles froze in his place. Once again he looked away from Y/N, knowing that his thoughts were written on his face and she knew him well-enough to read them.

He examined her options.

Creep? No way.

Jackson? Too douche-y for her.

Boyd? Some girl’s hand was possessively gripping his thigh as if she was thinking the same thing.

One of the girls? Maybe…

Then Y/N popped on his lap like it meant nothing, straddling him between her thighs. If Stiles' face was pink earlier, it was definitely burning red now.

“This ok?” she asked gently.

Stiles’ heart stopped in his chest. This was real. His crush was straddling his lap and was about to suck on his neck in front of a bunch of strangers, all ogling them like they were at the circus. And Stiles was beginning to feel like a clown.

He almost said no. He was terrified of what this could mean for their friendship. He knew there was no coming back from this. There was no world in which Stiles could have Y/N do this to him and then act normal in her presence ever again. This was bad bad bad. It’d be best to say no.

He opened his mouth but found himself unable to speak. He should say no but he didn’t want to.

And then he thought about Y/N and how she never backs down from a dare. How even when they were kids she and Scott made everything into a competition and she would always try to win, to her own detriment sometimes. They'd try to see who can finish their ice cream faster and she’d get a brain freeze but keep eating anyway.

If Stiles refused she would just hop in someone else’s lap and still do the dare, then he’d be forced to watch her give someone else a hickey knowing it could’ve been him the whole time. He’d die of jealousy. And Stiles was the only person she knew in this circle, the only one she trusted and felt comfortable around. If he said no, she’d have to do this very intimate act with a stranger.

So when he put it this way he was being charitable.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, afraid of what undignified noise he might make if he opened his mouth.

“Cover the little one’s eyes,” someone shouted and Malia put her hand on top of Cora’s eyes, who just laughed and let it happen. “She’s a minor, she can’t see this.”

Y/N leaned down to reach his neck. He looked up, partially to give her better access and partially to avoid looking at the gawking teenagers around them. The fact that they just found out he was a virgin right before this made things ten times worse for him.

He felt the girl’s hot breath right above the base of his neck, above the vein that leads to his heart. He took in one deep breath, then tried to hold it. She smelled like raspberry flavored vodka, like a fancy cocktail you’d get at a bar. How drunk was she, really? Should he worry? If she’s too drunk to judge what she's doing, was he taking advantage of her? He did want it to happen but not like this. Not with people watching, not when she was drunk, not on a dare.

Holy shit.

And just like that her lips were on him, like he’d dreamed of so many times. She licked the spot at the base of his neck and Stiles would be lying if he said that feeling didn’t go straight to his dick. Another gentle kiss and then– oh.

He had no idea what to expect, he’d never done anything like this, but he definitely didn’t think it was gonna hurt as much as it did. Or that he was gonna enjoy the pain to that extent. He thought she was just gonna suck on his neck but it certainly felt more like a bite, and not a gentle nibble either. Stiles hissed. Those were most certainly her teeth scraping his skin. He found himself gripping her thigh in an attempt to stifle the pain; her jeans were still wet from being in the pool.

She placed a third kiss right before sucking on the very same spot she previously bit. The whimper that escaped Stiles' lips was one of the most unbecoming sounds he could’ve made. He heard Y/N’s lips come off him with a smacking sound that was gonna get stuck in his head forever.

“Still good?” the girl asked looking straight into his eyes.

Stiles wondered what she was looking for. Signs of regret? Pain? Desire? Because in that moment he was flipping through all of them in rapid succession.

“Yeah, are you?”

She kissed her thumb and pressed it against his lips. Before he could ask what that meant she got off him and let herself fall back in her spot on the floor. Stiles' lap was still wet in every spot that had made contact with her, the cool feeling serving as proof that he didn’t hallucinate it all.

“Lydia, I believe it’s your turn.”

The redhead grabbed the bottle from the middle of the circle and spun it lazily, it landed on Y/N.

“Dare,” Lydia announced without giving the other girl the occasion to even ask.

“My first dare, fun.”

She placed a finger on her chin and acted like she was thinking really hard about something, but Stiles knew her too well to fall for it. She had been probably cooking questions and dares since before she decided to join the game. He had no doubt she’d been sitting on something juicy this whole time, waiting for her moment. He was almost scared for Lydia.

“Let someone of my choosing…” she took a pause for dramatic effect and looked at the kitchen island visible from the living room floor. “…take a body shot off of you.”

A chorus of surprised sounds erupted from the group. Lydia eyed the creepy guy who was staring at her like a lion at an antelope.

“Not him,” she declared.

It was just like Lydia to still give orders even when it was her turn to take them.

“Deal.”

Y/N led the ginger to sit on the kitchen island, muttering something about how they don’t have tequila so vodka will have to do. She touched a lemon slice to Lydia’s right thigh and stuck some salt on it, poured a shot of vodka carefully balancing it on her left leg, the lemon slice was left on the counter in between the girl’s legs.

“Stiles?” she turned around to the whole group that was still waiting in the living room. “Will you do the honors?”

The boy choked on air.

“I’m-I’m driving.”

“Scott can drive us home. You can come pick up Roscoe from Lydia tomorrow.”

She gave him a wink and finally, he understood. Not only was she trying to set him up with Lydia tonight, she was giving him an excuse to come see her the next day. Evil fucking genius.

“I guess,” Stiles shrugged.

He walked up to the counter sluggishly, everybody else behind him waiting to see what happens like vultures waiting for a wounded animal to keel over. He stopped for a second, assessing the situation. Even though everybody in the room already knew he was inexperienced he was still too embarrassed to ask what he was supposed to do. He felt Y/N’s hand press down on the back of his head with surprising force and he found himself kneeling in front of Lydia’s spread legs.

“Don’t enjoy this too much, Stilinski.”

Stiles didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Jackson who spoke.

“If you cream your pants doing this doesn’t count as losing your virginity, by the way.”

That voice belonged to Creepy Guy.

Stiles licked the salt line off the girl’s thigh then drank the shot, it tasted like disinfectant and some of it spilled down his chin, then he snatched the lemon slice without touching it with his hands. All of that with the quickness and efficiency of someone taking medicine they hate. One and done. He spat out the lemon after a second making a comically sour face. He heard someone wolf-whistle.

Emboldened by what he had done in the past few minutes, a bit high on a mix of adrenaline, euphoria, and vodka he turned around towards Y/N and grinned.

“Satisfied?”

“Very much so,” she quipped.

He looked straight into her eyes searching for something he was embarrassed to admit to. Jealousy. He had just licked Lydia Martin's thigh, the girl he's been wanting for four years, and all he could think about was did this make Y/N jealous?

If it did, she wasn't showing it. Of course, she was the one who dared him to do this. But a very selfish part of Stiles was hoping she’d regret it.

Scott and Allison stumbled into the kitchen, still laughing about something one of them said, their clothes still wet from the impromptu pool party outside.

“Are we interrupting something?” Allison giggled.

Stiles shot up from in between Lydia’s legs so fast he felt dizzy, his face flushed and he was unable to say something that would justify the situation the two teens walked in on.

“Truth or dare, wanna join?”

Surprisingly it was Lydia who spoke up and invited them.

“We were actually looking for you to tell you we were going home. Y/N?”

He didn’t need to say anything else, which Y/N must have appreciated. Having your cousin tell everybody that you have a strict bedtime because you’ve been a wild child lately is diminishing and Y/N was just starting to make some new friends.

“Yeah, we should go, too. Stiles?”

The boy slid his hand down his neck to carefully conceal the hickey that was still pulsating. Now he had to hide that from his best friend or else he’ll take a bite out of him.

Could he pull off a scarf? No, better not.

Avoiding eye contact with Scott and Y/N as if he worried the werewolf could read his mind he found himself looking around at everyone in the group. Malia and Boyd were smirking as if they knew exactly what kind of trouble Stiles had gotten himself into. Cora was staring daggers at Y/N. She patted the girl on the shoulder and asked if they can speak for a second in private before they left.

Did Stiles miss something?

Lydia got up from the kitchen island and brought a blanket for Allison so that she doesn’t catch a cold. Funny, she didn’t seem to care that Y/N was also soaked when she walked into the living room. But it made sense since Allison and Lydia made really good friends in the short time since Allison moved to Beacon Hills.

As Cora and Y/N had their little chat, which was very heated on Cora’s part, Stiles found himself lingering close to them. Partially because he wanted to be far away from Scott, partially because he just liked Y/N’s presence so much. His behavior reminded him a little too much of a kid holding onto his mother’s skirts everywhere she goes. Stiles did not have mommy issues. And he was not projecting them unto Y/N.

“It’s gonna have consequences,” the boy overheard.

He perked his ears, etching closer to Cora, still staying behind her.

“What are you talking about?”

Cora turned around as if she heard of felt Stiles despite their distance. Cora has always been quite a weird girl, maybe she really was psychic. She looked at Stiles and then back at Y/N.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Good luck.”

》 a.n. This is my first dip in Teen Wolf fic and my first post on this blog. I used to be @the-fangirl-from-hell but I couldn't interact with people due to the main blog of that account having a lot of personal information. So I just remade so I can interact with people, follow, like, reblog without fear of doxxing myself.

This is an old blog that i scrubbed clean and repurposed.

Feel free to ask to be in my tag list and interact in any way, I'm looking for reader and writer friends alike 《