Oh hey. @ew-no-please - Tumblr Blog

why are there bruises on my knees

i snuck into your house while you were sleeping and used one of those doctor reflex tester hammers to beat the shit out of your knees specifically

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1dietcokeinacan

I hate when u say “deja vu” out loud n someone ur with goes “what was it?” Like bitch we all can barely communicate the most straightforward ideas without utter confusion and chaos…..u rly believe it is within my capacity to explain exactly what fleeting moment of temporal embodiment made me feel like a vague reincarnated ghost girl trapped in a child’s dream??? Surely u are mistaken.

sixpenceeeblog

I found a list I’ve never see before in my kitchen. It’s in my handwriting.

by reddit user Jaksim

It all started with an unfamiliar line of dried blood on my cheek. Where did this blood come from? Not from me – I examined my entire body in the bathroom and I couldn’t even find a scrape. My head felt… empty. It’s not just that I couldn’t remember where the blood came from – I couldn’t remember anything.

It all began this morning. I awoke to a ray of sunlight sitting on my eyelids. Groaning, I rotated my neck towards my alarm clock. 11:00 AM. I pulled myself out of bed reflexively and walked a few feet to the bathroom. I saw the blood in the mirror and realized that I couldn’t remember anything.

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thatonebabygirlsub

I love this so much.

jujus-paradise-deactivated20170

Holy shit this is good

samdirector24

sweet jesus

briteny1313

Best plot twist

sixpenceee

Please follow my other blog @sixpenceeeblog for new stories!

beetcat-deactivated20190519

oh man that was one of the best ones

goldyfishpool

THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD I CANT EVEN

enoughtohold

when we first got married i had to psych myself up every time to say “my wife” to a new person. it was awkward because with “girlfriend” a lot of people would just assume i meant “friend,” and of course “fianceé” is gender-neutral when spoken, so we’d always had plausible deniability. but the meaning of “wife” is pretty unavoidable. still, i made myself do it on principle, and slowly but surely it became natural.

now i love saying “my wife,” to everyone all the time. i love saying it to the old woman distributing the strawberries at the farm share, asking if she knows where i can still get rhubarb because every summer i make my wife a pie. i love saying it to the gay employee helping me at crate and barrel, telling him i’m buying these glasses because my wife and i both had them growing up, and seeing his eyes light up. i love saying it to friends of friends and to new acquaintances and to potential coworkers and to the women at the laundromat. i love being aggressively out, and i love having such an easy way to be aggressively out. i love being the first woman with a wife someone has ever met, making our existence part of their reality. i love being visible for other lgbt people who might feel a little less alone knowing i’m there, which helps me push past the fear when it comes. most of all, i love not hiding. i love saying “my wife” and i love my wife.

fujoshijpeg

no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice

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unrulygingerlesbian

these two women came to my work today to buy movie tickets and one of the women was paying and she sighed in mock exasperation and said ‘you’re an expensive date’ then quickly looked at me to clear up the situation and said ‘i’m allowed to say that. she’s my wife’ and honestly i was blessed the rest of the night

turnon

my girlfriend a chicken nugget

catbuddy-deactivated20161201

how

turnon

tender

pseudonymnotfound

unclefather

someone: *dies* me: *loots their body* guards: its fine.

me: *accidentally kills a chicken* guards: that’s IT you’re going to JAIL now

marxism-leninism-utenaism

radical new medical techniques like listening to your patients and believing what they tell you

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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my brother on xbox live: this game blows so much dick dude

me: I'm the game

my brother: get out of my room

spacevixenmusic

fuck edgy

atopfourthwall

Always be afraid whenever the marketing release describes a show as “edgy.” The show itself does not get to decide if it is edgy - the AUDIENCE decides that.

lyjerria

Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth.

arianka

Goodbye forever

wittyworm

i have been sitting in this burger king for 4 hours

geniusoflove

they don’t come to take your order you have to go to the counter

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

actualdogvines

drtanner

salmonking:

eyebrowgod:

*inhale* arf

mercible

quality content

prof-grace-aspen

Shout out to people who have a hard time controlling their volume when talking, and who always speak too loudly or too quietly.

Whether you are teased for being too quiet but it’s really nerves/anxiety/shyness, and/or you have a hard time talking in an “indoor” voice when excited so people are constantly telling you to quiet down and “chill out”.

You’re okay. I know you try hard. I know you mumble incoherently when scared and yell when talking about something that excites you. It’s okay. I do it too.

rainbowmomo-deactivated20161218

can I say as someone who’s actually somehow both I really appreciate this post

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