ewboh

they invented like 1000000 foods by doing some bullshit to milk

We literally have to save women from heterosexual marriage omg

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

I love the whole 30 is the new 21 trend like yes queen so true. Your 30s are not for having children and settling down. They are for traveling, building your career, and going to the CLUB. Freeze ur eggs if u must I don’t care. Any 30 something year old woman who’s choosing to enjoy her newfound financial stability and not spend it in an unhappy marriage has my wholehearted stamp of approval.

you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

A close contender for second is “I’m NOT wearing that” followed by a cut to them feeling very bonita

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch