This is not a bathroom

GOOD QUESTION I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

it's true, compared to literally every other rocky planet and planetoid in our solar system, Earth is just extremely... liquidous.

(and I'm not just talking about about our extremely spicy liquid iron core, either)

stuff MOVES here, where it really has no business doing so if you compare Earth to the rest of the solar system on paper.

continents skitter their way across the surface in a billion-year-long dance, smashing together, breaking apart, smashing together again.

on the other rocky planets, tectonic plates are locked tightly in place against their neighbors, or never even existed in the first place.

so what gives? why is Earth letting gigantic sections of its outer crust bonk around unsupervised in a way that would get it shouted at in a busy supermarket?

maybe invest in a couple of these, Earth

well, like just about every other weird goddam thing on this planet, it's because of water!

I'm sure you know about plate tectonics at this point, where the great continental plates float around on top of Earth's mantle aimlessly and sometimes make your house fall down when they bonk into each other? well, turns out it's a little more complicated than that!

see, they aren't really "floating" on top of Earth's mantle, because the mantle is a plastic solid, like a stiff putty. if enough pressure is applied to it it'll deform, but it's definitely nowhere NEAR liquid.

sorry to bust every single scifi planet-destruction scene ever, I guess?

so what the hell is going on with the tectonic plates? why are they so peppy and fresh? well, it's because the entire ocean snuck down there when we weren't looking, that's why.

see, the places where tectonic plates meet often aren't exactly geologically stable (as you probably know if you live anywhere near one) and they're DEFINITELY not waterproof. which is funny, actually, because most of them are... on the seafloor...

so what's been happening over the past, oh, 4 billion years or so, is that water has just been leaking down out of the oceans and into the mantle itself, creating a thick layer of mantle that's been completely saturated with superheated water!

there is more water in this layer of rock than in all the surface oceans of the Earth combined.

so the tectonic plates aren't really skidding around on top of the MANTLE, they're hydroplaning on the water IN THE MANTLE. which explains why they hit each other so much, actually. hope Planetary Triple-A covers that.

yowch.

anyway, the moral of the story is that Planet Earth contains more than twice as much water as you thought it did, and it makes the continents go brrrrr.

The movie starts with the idea that the male god who wronged Te Fiti must be the one to heal her. This seems to make a certain sort of intuitive sense in that I think we all believe that if you do something wrong you should try to make it right. But how does he try to right it? Through more violence. Of course that failed. 

It was only when another woman, Moana, saw past the “demon of earth and fire” that the traumatized Te Fiti had become (what a good metaphor for trauma, right?) and met her with love instead of violence that she was able to heal. Note that they do the forehead press before Moana restores the heart, while Te Fiti is still Te Kā. Moana doesn’t wait for her beautiful island goddess to appear in all her green splendor before greeting and treating her as someone deserving of love.

This is a touching anaylisis but it’s extremely racist as not only have you completely ignored the whole point of Maui’s character, but have managed to incriminate a man of color on a tumblr wide scale.

First of all, Maui’s character does not represent male violence—it represent human greed. Maui did not take the heart because he is a man, and Te-Fiti is a woman. He took it because the humans asked him to. The humans asked Maui to do everything for them, not caring how greedy or selfish their requests were and in the end it was Maui who suffered for it. Maui is supposed to show the flaw of humanity.

This has nothing to do with sexism, it has everything to do with the fact that Maui gave and gave to the humans who could never stop being greedy. Moana giving the heart back wasn’t supposed to be her “making up” for the male violence that Maui represents. It was her making up for the greed she and her people represent. It was touching however because yes it was an important moment between two women, but you missed the point and you’ve come off racist and very disrespectful to a culture at that.

Yes, Moana is an empowering movie for women, especially women of color. But the last thing this is about is Maui being an abuser/rapist or whatever. That is not the point of Maui’s character.

And to assume so is racist. You are a white woman completely dehumanizing a man of color and ruining his image because of how you see him. And other white girls here on tumblr have happily picked up that image and interpretation and rolled with it. Maui’s character is now seen as an abuser or as someone who is violently because of white girls here on tumblr—which it doesn’t surprise me. (an in a historical context this is even MORE racist because white women would always make Maui’s people out to be savages and abusers etc., simply because of the color of their skin and their culture so yea, this is bad).

You can see the morality of the movie however you want, but do not be disrespectful toward a character and in this case a culture.

I’ve thought about replying because I’m tired of seeing these kind of “Moana is a feminist movie” posts collect hundreds of notes despite the fact that these posts always conveniently fail to mention Pasifika people, but it always stressed me out, so thank you.

This is insight for me as well (as I wasn’t aware that the movie also came fro the culture of the Pasifika people), and does give a very important perspective. I do agree with you, this movie is about environmental restoration, not some white fem bullshit.

I tried over and over again to explain to I-want-cheese about how she was being racist, but she responded by blocking me and other poc who called her out (even other polynesian people). People to this day are still trying to explain that she is being racist and culturally insensitive but she ignores us.

I’ve made a few posts about this, hoping that people realize how problematic it is to agree with i-want-cheese.  Explaining to her racist white ass that this was problematic was like explaining to a bird. She wouldn’t listen and neither would have of her racist friends.

his brothers mocked him for being a poor fisherman, he crafts a fishook from a jawbone and proceeds to raise new islands from the sea the sky is so low the trees bend, maui raises it for everyone, then fills the new sky with wind

the sun flies so quickly there is not enough time in the day to do the labors for everyone, maui has to lay traps for each of the suns many feet, chase after it as it was slowed, and then threaten to chop its legs off if it would not slow down

he then due to the complaints of the now longer dark night creates the moon and is upset his creation will not please humanity for it does not make sufficient light, then shows it to the sun so that it may learn how to be bright maui was credited with having invented as gifts for humanity the outrigger canoe, stone tools, and seaworthy boats that had no mast or sails. he was credited with inventing tattoos as a gift to dogs, however humanity is still not content so maui descends to the land of the dead to ask the secret of creating fire from the grandmother, who kept it hidden in her fingernails. he dropped the fingernail in the water as he tried to return to the land of the living, came back for another, dropped it as well, and went through all ten fingers and toenails untill he had to then interrogate birds the grandmother had shared the secret with to tell him how

a monstrous eel tried to put the moves on his wife, and again maui had to prove his worth to reclaim her by breaking the monster eel’s spine, shoving him into the ground to create the first coconut tree, the single most useful thing for polynesian life, as a gift to humanity yet again Maui, as a mythological figure, did nothing but give from the day he was born. he gave humans tools, land, fire, boats, light, the wind, everything except life itself and he even tried to give them that- and it killed him, he was bitten in two a crucial part of Maui as a legend is that he failed, its literally part of the point, also that he was driven to prove himself endlessly to the (during his life) ungrateful. do not try and drag Maui, its disrespectful on a level i cant express thank the man, you asshole Moana succeeded where he failed, for she saw that she did not have to prove herself. the whole movie up untill then she was trying to put on a brave face (there was literally a cut song ‘warrior face’ where maui teaches her Haka), shout her courage, announce to the world at large that she WILL do the thing and fix the world and be the hero, just like Maui

Deaky: