Evie-The Last Time

I wasn’t sure if I should share things, but when I thought about how I wasn’t the first gentle reader they pulled this with, I realized I wouldn’t be the last either. They are building up social media presence in other places, and I don’t doubt they will misuse that social power. Thank you for letting me know it helped, that’s the whole reason I did it.

I felt very special, it really did feel like a dream come true. But fantasy like that is always better left to fiction. Every time my life felt story book, it was awful to live through. I noticed a pattern in my life of falling for tricks by similar people. If someone feels like your fictional crush come to life, they are probably just as fictional now, an act. I’m doing my best to heal now, and I have wonderful support. I’ve learned not rely on others for all of the novelty or safety in my life, it’s wonderful to have people that add that to your life, but if one person is your everything, they can take it away. It’s always best to have a diverse group of loved ones there to support you, not one wobbly pillar asking you to balance and act just right in return for holding you up. And it really is mind blowing how good life can be when you have that.

There are good people in the world, and I hope you find them and have a wonderful life. I hope you are also careful and gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with respect.

never knew they were mine

pulled out one by one, every vertebrae

To clear things up about my blog, all these songs are me letting out my emotions about “Simon alkenmyer”

Aka Kristina meister.

No. And that is a choice I made on purpose. They are very kind online. But I want you to know that every “gentle reader” who ever met them in person ran. It happened a few days before they stopped going on tumblr.

I stayed the longest. Three years as their partner. And I’m still trying to recover. They are just another person, no monster. They made me sign an nda, held it over my head as a legal document so I wouldn’t talk to my old friends. Only for me to find out it’s a fake legal document that won’t hold up in court. They are Kristina Meister.

They are manipulative. They always picked people who survived narcissistic abuse, but hadn’t recovered from it. They did it on purpose.

I have pictures of their diary where they fantasize about starting a cult.

I’m sorry. I’m very very sorry. I know they were a person many would reach out to in a moment of suffering, when they needed someone. They were that for me. And they managed to do a decent job of that when they could choose every word carefully and hide who they were behind a screen. I sought safety in them. They gave it for a short while, but eventually they took advantage of that dependence.

You may be searching for something right now, a friend, comfort, advice, and while you can’t find it in them please don’t stop searching for that. The relationships all us gentle readers had with them, were not equal. There was a power imbalance. I suggest searching for an equal in someone who doesn’t hold themself above you. If you need support or care, even if it seems impossible in your life right now, it is not.