in my dream you started to choke and I was there to save your life

which is ironic because while you told me you no longer wanted to be with me

I was sitting there choking on my tears

In fourth grade, I broke my arm--it hurt so bad--but it didn't hurt as much as my chest hurt today.

I woke up to a text on my phone saying "hey we need to talk...I don't think we should be together anymore. I still have feelings for my ex, and I don't wanna be in a relationship where I'm not fully committed. I'm so sorry" from my now, ex-boyfriend.

At least he was honest.

I immediately think he's joking. "This can't be real" while he replied with a "I'm not joking"

meanwhile, I start getting teary eyed, and my hands start shaking.

"How could he do this??" I thought.

A few minutes pass by, and at this point I'm full-on crying.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know whether I should sit and cry, or yell, or what?? What do I do??

Just a few days ago we were talking about the future and now, we don't have one. It's gone.

If I would've known that the last time I kissed you was the last time, I would've held onto it longer.

If I would've known that that was the last time I would ever hold your hand, or hear your laugh, I would've listened and held onto that moment longer.

But now it's too late and you'll barely even talk to me.

What did I do wrong?

Why wasn't I good enough?

I didn't know what to do so I decided to take a shower and boy, did I cry.

I haven't cried that hard since my grandfather passed away last year on my birthday.

I cried so hard I had to gasp for air, and each inhale made a loud sobbing noise.

I sat down in the tub while the water from my shower trickled over my face, crying, thinking of how he's gone forever.

After a few minutes, I stood up and tried to keep myself together, but lost it again.

He hurt me so much. So much, and he acts like he doesn't even care.

My heart started to ache, and that's the first time I've ever felt such a powerful ache in my chest. I felt sick to my stomach, and wanted to vomit.

He's such a unique person, and it's so nice how we can joke around together.

I love his real laugh. Not the fake laugh he uses sometimes, but when he thinks something is actually funny and he can't help but blurt out a chuckle--it's so adorable.

On the other hand, his giggle, which I hear more often, is also insanely cute.

I also love how his music is so different from mine, but I don't mind it; he gets me into listening to new stuff, which I love.

Him and I are not very much alike, but it works for us. He likes a lot of different foods than I, he's seen almost every movie I could ever think of, and I haven't seen many movies; I know more music.

It's cool though because he brings me new experiences, and keeps me on my toes.