just livin

She is nearly 70 years old, with wonderfully brown gnarled, wrinkled hands and eyes that are creased from smiling. She hand-makes all of her own clothes and sews dolls for my little sister. Abuela is very lonely… her husband already passed and her kids live far away. She misses her grandkids. Abuela comes around our place for the company almost every other day.

So this morning, my little sister and I went to visit the Abuela to return the kindness of her vegetables with some homemade soup.

It’s a funny joke we have, that if you can make a perfect posole you are wife material. I was joking around with my friend beforehand to see if I was worthy of marriage, and my little sister thinks me failing is the best thing in life, so of course she wants to ask Abuela when we arrive.

We’re wearing masks and gloves and can’t give her the big hug like we want to, but Abuela is always happy to see us. We bring the pot of soup to her table. My little sis, the little shit that she is, immediately asks, “Abuela, is Reina ready to be a wife yet?”

And Abuela immediately shifts her entire mood. Her face literally becomes this:

Abuela’s look pierces through my heart.

“Who are you trying to impress? A man or a woman?” she asks, deadly serious. We have broached the topic of marriage. It is her domain now.

And I, Rei, gay as the fourth of July, cannot believe that either Abuela clocked me instantly or that she could possibly have a fascinating past of her own. 

I thought about lying, but my little sister was there and I don’t like to lie in front of her. So I was honest and said I was trying to impress a woman.

Without a response, Abuela carefully tries the posole. The room is silent.

“For a man, it’s good,” she says after a moment. “But, you’ll need to work harder to impress a woman.”

All I can do is politely nod. I have so many questions.

Now Abuela is tired. She wants to eat and relax in peace, so she waves us away. We make sure she’s settled, and then my sister and I go home.

not only did the grandma say bi rights but like

Queue: consonnant sound

Queue: you can’t follow a q with a e, you need a u in between. in french u gotta

Queue: the eu sound is actually not like how you say q at all, it’s a french e sound but it’s longer (also distinguishes from the word que)

Without enough lube (natural or artificial), you WILL end up chafed. It hurts, it burns, and it can cause infection.

Even with enough lube, mucking about in your naughty bits too much–you know, the kind of thing you have to do for several hours a day if you’re a cam girl–can cause yeast infections and UTIs. UTIs can cause scarring that can cause intercourse (and masturbation) to become painful.

The kind of extreme, prolonged sexual intercourse that porn is known for can cause both rectal and vaginal prolapse, which is when your rectum or vagina literally falls out of your body due to being put under too much stress. Also, um. I’m just saying, doing the same motion with your wrists over and over without breaks, the way you’d have to do with a dildo, can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. There’s a similar condition called tennis elbow that can also occur. These women are going to suffer work-related injuries because of this. Some of those injuries will require surgery. And while sex-related prolapse is pretty rare, it does have a higher incidence among sex workers, and higher still among overworked sex workers.

So no, this cam girl is absolutely right. She cannot safely and effectively do her job for hours a day, every day, and the injury she suffers as a result could impair her ability to enjoy sex or, possibly, even kill her. What needs to be happening right now is that cam girls and other sex workers need to have unemployment and/or some kind of stimulus funds available to them, just like people in any other job, so they can work safely without worrying about going hungry.

ALL workers deserve fair wages, safe working conditions, and time for rest.