everyday aesthetics

It’s engraved into my skin

- there is so much pain.

There is a last morning you will wake up in an apartment, no matter how much of a home you made for yourself within those walls, how many times you laughed and cried and smiled.

A last time you will watch your favorite player score. A last time you will see someone you love smile.

And you know this.

You know this when you get off your train that first time.

You know it in the first evening you spend at a new place, eating take out on the floor among unopened boxes. You know it when you jump up to your feet because a player you haven't paid attention before just scored a screamer of a goal.

The ending is always inscribed in the beginning. Always. And you know it. So then you would think--