EverSoNitro

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

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these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

guys you gotta stop thinking of women in their 30s as elderly it’s just misogyny

you also gotta stop thinking about actual elderly women as lesser human beings. Youth is not a measure of one’s worth.

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[trying to flirt with ms frizzle] hey val. can i call you val? i've always liked how most of the working professionals you know appear to be homosexuals. how about you take a chance on me, and we can make some mistakes and messes at my place? [sniles] [she turns me down with a pun] [i walk dejected out into the parking lot] [The Bus runs me over]

trying to undress ms frizzle but when you pull off her dress there's a second, "lingerie-patterned" dress underneath

Culturally significant forbidden candy

clark kent ticking the organ donor box on his drivers license automatically out of the goodness of his heart and then panicking because what if he actually dies somehow and some human gets a super heart what would even HAPPEN like he can't have his kryptonian retinas with laser vision donated to a random eight year old and so he has to awkwardly go back to the DMV to get it changed to not an organ donor but he's so embarrassed the whole time because the DMV employees will think he's a bad person that by the time he's done he has to go cry in the car

plot twist he's so clearly distressed and sad about doing this that the dmv folks just quietly assume he must have received some kind of awful medical diagnosis that makes him ineligible to donate and the first clerk that helped him immediately takes a smoke break and sees him crying in the car and that's how Clark gets at least 3 rock solid anonymous sources at the dmv and a free off-brand coke from the break room fridge.

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

contrary to popular belief i think calvin's adhd is, funnily enough, medicated. he takes extended release ritalin every morning alongside his chocolate frosted sugar bombs. this is because he appreciates being more easily able to focus on his various Schemes, Projects, and Machinations while more effectively ignoring schoolwork

calvin's dad pulling up to the house and seeing the whole driveway covered in a (completed) snowman recreation of the entire terracotta army and he takes a deep breath and greets calvin's mom with "i see calvin remembered his methylphenidate today"