Natalie's Headspace

She cringes when the door to her room bursts open. “Help! I’m sorry to wake you, but I need your help!” Tony cries out.

Tears well up in her eyes. She just wants to rest. She can’t take it anymore.

“It’s the kid, he got beat up real bad. We think he fractured his ribs.”

She slowly raises from her spot on the bed, leaving the comfort of snuggling into her warm blankets. “Where is he?” She weakly mutters, not having the energy to put her usual sunny disposition into her words.

“He passed out on the couch,” he informs her, already striding back to the common room. She limps her way to the common room. Normally she tries to hide her pain, but after this week’s missions, she can’t find it in her.

Luckily, no one else is in the common room. It’s just a barely cognisant kid, and a person that’s too preoccupied with the kid’s health to care about anything else. She falls ungracefully to her knees, cringing as her knees meet the floor. Her hands hover over Peter’s body before she takes a breath and makes contact with him. Immediately a sharp pain grows in her ribs. Tears gather in her eyes as she continues to take away his pain.

Her head is pounding and her ribs ache. It hurts so bad. This is even worse than when her father and his friends would use her after getting into bar fights. She knew what she was signing up for, but this… this is a little too much.

When Peter gasps awake, she plops down and rests her head against the couch cushion. Tears roll down her face before she turns to cover her face with the couch. Breaths becoming laboured, she can’t hold in the whimper that escapes her mouth.

How is she going to get back to her room? How’s she going to get out of this without getting caught? The Avengers aren’t stupid. They’re going to notice that something is off. Then they’re going to make her stop healing them because they are all too good to take advantage of her. And since she’ll be of no use to them, they’ll kick her out. She doesn’t want to leave. She can’t leave her family. The only family that has genuinely seemed to care for her.

“Hey, you alright?” Peter’s soft voice breaks her out of her racing thoughts. She nearly cries at the kindness in his voice. No one else cared to ask her that question when they noticed she was in pain. In fact, her father and her friends seemed to enjoy watching her in pain. It wasn’t fair, but she knew how life worked.

“I’m fine,” she mutters, straining against the stabbing pain in her ribs with every breath. Peter takes her head in his hands and gently lifts it from the couch so his kind eyes meet hers. Her head pounds and she wishes that he couldn’t see her like this. So weak. A superhero like him would probably laugh at her for being so weak. It’s not like she’s the one taking those punches. She wasn’t the one taking the beatings and saving the world. She just took the pain away.

“No you’re not. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Peter sounds so concerned, his eyes raking over her body looking for any signs of abuse.

“No, everything is fine, Peter.”

He squints his eyes at her, his sensitive hearing picking up her laborious breaths and small whimpers. “Who hurt you?” He jumps off of the couch ready to beat anyone that dared touch his precious …friend. Nothing else. Just a really good friend.

“No one, Pete, just… just forget about it okay? I’m fine.”

“Stop saying that! You’re in pain!” Peter frowns, visibly upset at the fact that she keeps lying to him. He thought they were close. He thought she trusted him. It hurts to know that she doesn’t.

“I’m used to it, it’s fine,” she mumbles, head plopping back into the couch. Peter’s brow furrows, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut.

“What do you mean you’re used to it?”

He watches her huff out a big breath before winching and clutching her ribs. The puzzle pieces finally click into place. It’s as if everything suddenly became clear with just one miniscule movement. Eyes widening, he strides over to her. Peter squats down to be level with her, his face dead serious.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? It hurts you to use your powers, doesn’t it?”

Tears fall down her flushed cheeks, and she curses under her breath. They were bound to find out sooner than later, she had just hoped for the latter. “I was helping,” she whines, trying to prove her worthiness. She was doing something good, he can’t possibly get mad at her for that, can he?

“At the expense of yourself!” Peter yells, frustrated that he allowed her to take his pain and make it her own.

“Well, the pain has to go somewhere!” She fires back, angry that he isn’t grateful. After all she’s done she didn’t think he’d be yelling at her. She hasn’t done anything wrong. She helped them so much.

“You shouldn’t have to be in pain because of us,” he argues, standing to pace. All of this information changes things. How many times has she saved someone this week alone? How much pain must she be in? What has she had to silently suffer through?

“Give me my pain back,” Peter orders, not wanting her to have his pain anymore. Guilt weighs on his consciousness now that he knows she is feeling his fractured rib and concussion.

“That’s not how that works Peter.”

“God dammit! Why didn’t you tell us!”

Her eyes pop out of her head. She’s never heard him this upset before. He’s never been this angry. The fact that she caused it only makes her feel worse.

“Because I knew this would happen!” She cries. “I knew you guys would be mad and kick me out! I deserve a place here after everything I’ve done. I don’t want to leave!”

“You can’t keep taking other people’s pain,” he frowns, dead set on conveying this to her.

“Yes I can. I’m helping! I’m doing something good! Why don’t you understand that? Why can’t you appreciate the fact that I am willing to help you guys?”

“Because, you’re not supposed to get hurt doing it!”

“What is going on out here?” Steve, Bucky, Sam, Clint, and Natasha walk in having just finished training. She sends Peter a death glare, daring him to say anything.

Although he sees her intimidating stare, Peter doesn’t care. This has to end now.

“The pain doesn’t just go away,” he explains, “every time she heals us, the pain is transferred to her. She takes all the pain for us.”

Steve furrows his brows, his serious concerned mama bear face on. Crossing his arms and stepping forward, he asks, “is this true?”

“N-no! Of course not!” She lies. Her eyes flit around the people in the room, heart beating faster.

“She’s lying, she probably can’t even stand up right now because she is in so much pain,” Peter confidently states.

Narrowing her eyes at Peter, she swears to kill him in his sleep. How dare he tattle on her? “That’s not true! He’s making this all up,” she protests, trying to make her voice sound strong.

“Then stand up,” Natasha challenges, one of her perfect brows raising.

Cursing under her breath, she places a hand on the couch to try and push off the ground. Grimacing, she grits her teeth and tries to lift her body off the ground. Breathing heavily, she uses her other hand to try and get into a standing position. Whimpers, so quiet that only the enhanced are able to hear, escape from her as she struggles to stand.

Peter is by her side in an instant, not willing to watch her put herself through more pain. “That’s enough,” he mutters, fed up with her disregard for her own well-being. Why is she being so careless?

Steve frowns as he quietly talks to the people around him. She can feel his disappointed countenance chipping at her soul. He has that effect on people. She never wanted to disappoint her heroes. She can take it, she just needs some rest, and she’ll be fine.

“We can’t continue to let you heal us.” Is the verdict that Steve murmurs, upset by how long this has been going on. How could no one have noticed? How could they have been so careless as to think that the pain just magically went away?

He’s disappointed. Disappointed in himself for not noticing sooner, disappointed in himself for letting a mere kid take all of his pain and suffering that he should have just endured. Why did she never say anything?

“You’re released from duty,” Steve concludes, standing up to leave the room. He can’t stand looking at her, now knowing all of the pain he has caused her.

“Captain, please. Don’t do this! I was helping!” She protests with everything left in her. She doesn’t want to leave her family. She doesn’t want them to get hurt or die. Not when she has the ability to save them.

“Enough!” Steve bellows, stopping in his tracks. “You’re out of here, got it?”

Tears well up in her eyes and her lip starts to wobble. Steve had never used a tone like that with her before. It hurts. “So what? You’re just letting me go now that you have no use for me?”

Steve falters. That’s most certainly not what he meant.

“You’re just like my dad!”

A sentence that cuts deeper than any stab wounds he’s ever received. She’s told him about her home life, about her piece of shit father. And to be compared to him makes his soul break.

Calling out her name as she pushes past him, he desperately tries to right this wrong. She doesn’t stop, though. She keeps running, tears cascading down her face.

Running a hand through his hair, he curses. This is not how it should have panned out. All he wanted was to make sure that she’s safe and out of harm's way. He didn’t want to be the one to harm her. In fact, that’s the last thing he wanted to do. What, after all she’s been through, she deserves better.

“Let me,” Peter says, stopping Steve from running after her. Steve aquieses, figuring it would be better if he could calm down before talking to her. He’s just so upset that he’s been passing off his pain to a literal child. Okay, maybe she’s not a child, but she might as well be one for fucks sake.

“What do you want?” Peter cringes at her angered tone, a twinge of hurt underlying it. She still has tears in her eyes as she rushes to pack her clothes in a duffle she had sitting unused in her closet.

“Steve didn’t mean what he said. He’s upset that you lied to him—to all of us.”

She scoffs, harshly shoving the clothes in the bag. She whimpers, realising that probably wasn’t the best decision with all of the injuries she is dealing with right now. Peter rushes to have her in his arms. He sits down on the ground, gently pulling her with him. “You gotta stop hurting yourself, sweetheart.”

She grumbles in his arms, trying to get out of his grasp. Peter just shakes his head at how stubborn she is. She’ll be the death of him, he’s sure about that.

“Why do you care?” She mutters out, anger and resentment lacing her tone. She doesn’t want to believe that anyone can care about her. Whenever she thinks that, she always gets hurt. No one cares about her. The only reason people act nice to her is because they want to use her powers to heal themselves.

“Because… you’ve been hurting yourself for far too long,” he murmurs, relaxing his hold now that she isn’t trying to squirm away.

“I just want to be wanted,” her voice is muffled with the sound of her small cries. Tears stream down her face, and she curls up into Peter’s warm embrace. He sighs and runs his hand gently through her hair, careful not to make her headache worse.

“You are,” he speaks under his breath. “Everyone here genuinely cares for you in their own way. You are so important to me… to all of us.”

She muffles a sob against his shirt. “You… you don’t mean that…”

“I do. I mean every word of it. You matter to me. You matter so much.”

"What took you guys so long?" Ned asked. Nobody in the room spotted the small smirk on Peter 2's face. As the oldest in the room, Peter 2 could sense the chemistry going on between Y/N and Peter 3, but decided to say nothing.

"Sorry, we got distracted. And he never had Sam's ice cream before, and I reckon I can't let him forever live on without experiencing it," the girl justified, taking the food bag out of Peter 3's hand and setting it on the table.

"Oh, that place is amazing," Peter 1 commented before opening the bag and pulling out a sandwich, handing it to MJ. Before we knew it, everybody had dig in.

"So are you guys all done with the other cures?" Y/N asked.

"Yeah, we just finished."

"That's great. Now all we gotta do is lure these guys someplace, right? Try to cure them, while they try to kill us, and then, send them home," Peter 3 summarized the whole operation.

"So are you gonna go into battle dressed as a cool youth pastor, or do you got your suit?" Peter 3 asked, his eyes immediately flickered to Y/N to see her reaction to his joke. Seeing her crack a smile, Peter 3 immediately mirrored it. Something about the sight just brought him absolute joy.

As an answer, Peter 2 pulled down his collar slightly, revealing the suit underneath.

"Good," Peter 3 muttered.

"Look, this is where we're gonna do this, okay? It's isolated, so no one should get hurt. We draw them there with the box, it's the one thing they all want." Peter 1 stated.

~~~~~~~~~~

"So...Peter 3 huh?" MJ asked. She along with Ned and Y/N were standing in front of the portal, looking at the statue of liberty.

"Peter 3 what?" Y/N played dumb.

"Oh come on, we're not blind."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah, so you're still in the denial stage," Y/N playfully rolled her eyes at this.

"Well, I think you should wish your Peter good luck," of course Y/N didn't miss the deliberate "your Peter." At the same time, she didn't protest either. Rather, the girl only shook her head lightly as she walked through the portal.

"Peter?" after calling the name, Y/N realized that it wasn't going to be helpful.

"Spidey? Peter 3? Empire State dude?" Y/N decided.

"Hey, wassup?" Y/N heart stopped when she heard the voice from behind her. She jumped, turning around in shock.

There he was, hanging upside down without his mask on. But something else that was occupying her mind was the distance between their faces.

"Uhm...MJ thinks I should wish you luck," Y/N muttered, her eyes indiscreetly flicked to his lips.

Peter smirked at that.

"So I guess...good luck..." Y/N muttered. She internally scowled at herself for letting a boy unable her ability to speak properly.

"Thank you, Y/N/N," Y/N smiled at the nickname.

The two stood - well, one of them hanging upside down - in silence.

"You know...usually after a damsel in distress is saved, she gives her hero a reward," Peter cheekily commented, watching as Y/N cheek tinted pink at his words.

"And well - I kind of saved you earlier," Peter muttered.

"From the wicked and reckless skater. Oh! The most dangerous villain of them all," Y/N sarcastically spoke softly. Peter nodded eagerly at this.

"Mhm...and what exactly are you looking for in terms of 'reward'?" her hands quoted the word, watching as his eyes flickered to her lips.

"Well...usually they give the hero a kiss..." Y/N laughed out loud at this. Clearly, this Peter was bolder than the one from her world.

"Cheeky, aren't you, Spidey?" she teased.

Suddenly, her laughter died down as an idea sparked in the girl's mind.

"Stay still..." she muttered, leaning in towards the boy.

Peter's breath got caught in his throat as he heard her instruction. Any trace of joking was gone from his face as he stared at Y/N. The girl leaned closer, stopping right before their lips came into contact. Peter closed his eyes at this. Her hands touched the side of his face, caressing it lightly. The only thing Peter could hear at that second was his heart thumping against his chest, as if to free itself from him and into her delicate hands.

Her lips touched him.

However, unlike his expectation, they touched the corner of his mouth, not touching his lips at all. Peter released a shaky breath at this. It was filled with contentment, yet, selfish wanting. At this point, Peter could not deny to himself that he wanted more of Y/N.

The thought of hurting her soulmate flew out of his mind. Any bit of him that was capable of resistance evaporated.

Touching her was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you - his mind mused.

Peter opened his eyes. Y/N was now steps away from him, smirking teasingly with her arms crossed, clearly enjoying his flustering state that she had created.

The two stared at each other for a while. Him, still shaken over the little contact she gave him. Her, slowly admitting to herself that she was falling for heartbreak and couldn't care less.

"Dressed for the party, huh?" Peter gestured to her red bandana.

"....Yeah...yeah, I did."

I did it for him.

He read between the lines - the corner of his mouth curled up at her reply.

"Maybe I'll give you another reward if you manage to save my New York city," she continued.

"Wow, what an incentive. I guess I have no choice but to win now."

"You better, Peter Parker."

The two of them grinned at each other with adoration.

Perhaps the lewd flirting partially came from their time ticking away, slowly coming to an end.

"Anyway, I should leave you now. You got some saving to do...Stay safe, yeah?"

For you, I will. - his eyes whispered.

"Yeah, definitely."

~~~~~~~~~~

"All right, we're gonna do it again. We're just gonna keep trying."

"Alright. We got it. I got it."

Everything about Y/N's facial expression right then was screaming, "We're not alright."

"Close the portal. Close the portal," MJ instructed.

From afar, Y/N could spot a lizard running towards them.

"Uhm guys," she tugged on MJ's arm.

"And that is a lizard. Ned, that is a lizard, we should..." before MJ could finish, the lizard had barged in and through the portal. The three teens ran for their lives, trying to outrun the giant lizard on their tail. As it leaped towards the three, Peter 1 jumped in, kicking the creature toward the wall.

"Run!" he yelled, and the three did not hesitate to follow the order.

They ran outside of the portal and into the war zone without thinking for the long run. Peter 1 had managed to stall the creature for a while, but before they knew it, it was running after them again. However, thank the lord that Ned's power managed to come through. The boy summoned a portal of water, splashing the lizard, sweeping it far away from the teens.

Soon after, the boy summoned another one as an escape for the three.

"You did it!" Y/N barely whispered, wheezing from the cardio. Their celebration was cut short when Doctor Strange walked through the portal.

"Where is he?" Doctor Strange asked, magically pulling back the box and Ned's ring.

"Before you do anything, Peter's plan is working. He's curing them!" Ned rushed.

Doctor Strange tilted his head slightly, observing as Peter 1 cured the lizard, "Well I'd be damned." Before the teens knew it, he had opened another portal up to the top, and they all quickly followed him.

As much as Y/N tried to listen in to the conversation between the three Spiderman and Doctor Strange, all she could do was stare at Peter 3.

"Your peter," MJ's voice rang in her head.

"Can the Spider-Man come out to play?" the chilling voice of Norman Osbourne drew the attention of the whole group. Before they all knew it, he snatched the box out of Doctor Strange's hand and flew away.

Luckily, we were able to retrieve it back with the help of Dr. Otto Octavious. However, the victory didn't last long, as everybody noticed the green explosive device that the Green Goblin had planted inside the box.

"Strange, no-" and the bomb went off, causing the construction around the Statue of Liberty to slowly collapse. At the construction tipping, Y/N lost her balance and tumbled off it. Her scream caught the attention of Peter 1, 2 and 3.

Peter 1 dove after her. He couldn't lose one of his best friends. His hands stretched out to her, and their fingers glazed for a second. Before he could grip onto her fingers, the Green Goblin had flown past, knocking Peter 1 out of the way, leaving the girl to continue falling.

This is it - she thought, any form of hope she had diminishing. The girl closed her eyes, ignoring the tears brimming in them.

I never had the chance to tell him how I feel.

Just as the girl thought she would soon hit the ground, somebody wrapped her hand around her. They flipped Y/N around and ensured she was on top and in their arms. The girl opened her eyes just before they landed and saw the face of her Peter.

His foot landed on the ground, putting both of them in safety. Y/N immediately let out a shaky gasp of mixed emotions. She was relieved, scared, and anxious.

Meanwhile, all Peter could think about was that he had saved her. He had saved Y/N. He thought that he had dove after her as a form of redemption to save Gwen. However, that was only a small part of it, because all Peter could think of when he saw that Peter 1 would not be able to save the girl was: Y/N was going to die.

He didn't think of Gwen at all until his feet found the ground. The guilt that had eroded his shoulders had been gone ever since he indulged himself in Y/N's presence.

"Are you okay?" he asked, tears emerging in his eyes just by the thought of her dying, while also getting emotional over the part that he was finally free from his personal hell.

"Yeah, I'm okay...are you?" she asked while climbing down from his arms. The girl thought maybe it was best to give him some personal space. After all, she knew the uncanny resemblance between what happened to her and his soulmate.

The boy looked down for a second, feeling the tears starting to fall. He nodded boyishly, finally looking back at her.

The sight in front of Y/N broke her. She immediately opened her arms to welcome him into a hug, in which Peter immediately collapsed in. He wrapped his hands around her waist, burying his head in her neck, sniffling. The hug was soon reciprocated as Y/N wrapped one of her hands tightly around his neck, while the other on his head.

"I t-thought I was gonna lose you," the boy muttered in her neck, hugging her even tighter as if letting her go meant that she would disappear.

Y/N frowned at this, hating the pain this was causing to the boy. She started playing with his hair, halting in her actions but continuing when she heard a sigh of contentment from the boy.

The girl pulled away, looking at him. Peter did the same, but his eyes flickered to her lips again, causing for Y/N to do the same. Her hands made their way to the sides of his face, caressing it. And they both made the move, molding their lips into one, not giving a second thought that they were in the middle of a battle.

It felt like the world was exploding. The butterflies that were in both of their stomachs were set free, erupting everywhere. Everything around them faded away. The chaos was replaced with the peace that they brought to each other.

Despite the short time they knew each other, it had felt right.

Y/N's hands made their way to Peter's hair, playing with it. Her action caused for him to moan into the kiss, squeezing the hands that were on her hips.

Much to their dismay, Y/N had pulled away, desperately needing air and breathing heavily.

"I just reckon-" the girl stopped herself, letting out a moan of pain at the feeling on her wrist. However, Peter was caught off guard when he felt his wrist endure a pain he had experienced before.

The pain of your soul mark turning red.

Y/N unwrapped the red bandana around her wrist, revealing her soulmate tattoo that was slowly turning from black to red. Y/N's mouth fell agape at the discovery. She looked up and at Peter, who was already staring at her.

"I...I thought you already had a soulmate."

"I did."

"But then...how..." she stared at her wrist again. "What about your soul mark?" she asked, realizing that he would not be able to check it due to the suit.

"I think it might have changed because I felt a pain just there," Peter muttered, still staring at the girl with admiration and confusion.

You're my second chance in every way - the boy thought.

"Maybe that's why I was pulled to you ever since I met you - and the sparks? h-how well we clicked," the girl rambled again, but Peter only found the habit adorable.

"You know what I wished for on the dandelion?" Y/N shook her head, watching as Peter took her wrist in his hand, tracing her tattoo just like that night at the field.

"For you to be happy and find your soulmate."

"That's such a waste of a wish then. Cause technically, I already found you then." The words warmed his heart for some reason. To him, she was calling him the one for her.

"Oh my gosh, I forgot. The other Peters need your help! You gotta go."

"Do I get another kiss later?"

"If you save my New York, then yes."

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N stared at the sky that was breaking apart, fear dawning onto her as she watched Doctor Strange talk to Peter 1.

"I'm so glad your Peter caught you," MJ commented.

"Mhm..."

"No denying?"

"We kissed," Y/N muttered.

"You kissed?!" Ned exclaimed, mouth dropping at the gossip.

"Turns out we might be soulmates."

"Might be?" MJ questioned, scrunching her face in confusion.

"My mark turned red but he hasn't checked his, because of the suit."

"Yeah, but if your mark turned red, it's a given, Y/N. He's your soulmate."

"...He's my soulmate," Y/N had already loved the sound of that.

Peter 1 landed in front of them. The three immediately turned to him and pulled the boy into a hug.

"Are you okay?" Peter asked all of them, in which they all answered in positive confirmations. "Oh gosh, Y/N, I didn't catch you, I was so scared."

"It's fine, Peter, somebody else caught me," Y/N grinned. Peter nodded, but stared at all the three of them oddly.

"You're gonna forget who I am."

"What?" the three exclaimed.

"It's okay. I'm gonna come and find you, and I'll explain everything. I'll make you remember me. And it'll be like none of this ever happened. Okay? There's nothing we can do...but it'll be okay."

All Y/N could think about was if the spell that Doctor Strange was casting was to forget about Peter Parker, would that mean...

Peter started doing his handshake with Ned, hugging him at the end. He turned to Y/N, watching the frown on her face.

"Go, Y/N. Go to him," hearing those words, Y/N started sprinting but quickly came back to hug Peter.

"You better come find us, Peter Parker."

"I will."

She sprinted all her might towards the two Spiderman, figuring her way down to the collapsed enlarged Captain America's shield that they were standing on.

Y/N looked up, watching as Peter 3 grinned at her when they made eye contact. Peter 2 had whispered something to him, and left his supporting arm, probably to give her and Peter 3 some alone time.

However, the second she almost reached him, she saw specks of gold decorating his body. Her eyes widened, a gasp escaping her lips.

"Wait, no! Peter!" she yelled, watching as he looked down at his hands, frowning upon seeing that they slowly evaporated away in golden dust. He looked up at her, again. His eyes carry an unexplainable amount of sorrow.

Time wasn't in our favour

She tried to speed up, just meters away from him. Y/N saw the way his lips formed into a sad smile as his face started disappearing too.

But this wasn't a goodbye, it's simply a see you later.

"Don't you dare, Peter Parker. Don't you dare!"

He tried. He reached out to her, though his actions resigned as if he already knew of their cruel fate. Meanwhile, she tried to flung herself in the space between them, eliminating it as quickly as possible to get to him.

Her arms stretched widely towards him. At the last seconds, her body leaped as she tried to wrap herself around the dust in the form of his body. However, all that was there was Y/N trying to wrap her hands around little specks of gold that were left, until none remained.

There she was, standing over the empty spot that her soulmate once stood.

Y/N mouth hung agape as she stared up at where his face would be. Her face distorted as pain took over her sad expression. A choked cry escaped her throat.

She finally found the one, yet, she also lost him.

The girl collapsed onto the ground, letting out a painful sob as she held one hand over her heart. Hiccups erupted as the pain got too much.

Only love can hurt like this.

"I-I just found y-you" she managed to mutter with any bit left. She continued sobbing.

Must have been a deadly kiss.

She weeped

She sobbed.

Your kiss is burning through my skin.

She sniffled.

Only love can hurt like this.

She sat still.

The girl stared down at her hand. She felt a tear dropped down from her eye. Wiping it on her pants, the girl stood up slightly lightheaded, tumbling slightly. She wiped away the tears that were threatening to escape. Y/N stared at the place around her, absolutely bewildered.

How did I get here?

---------------------

This is not the ending ending. I'm currently still writing them, but there will be two options as labelled below. When I finish writing them, I'll link it up.

Go Back: Part 1

Continue:

the sad ending :(