Current Interest: TMNT

Mikeys! This was a commission done on instagram which was really fun to do and I love this orange gremlin so it’s here now lol

I’m still alive maybe idk

Okay so, I wanted to expand a bit about what I meant in this post about Leo and Raph’s similarities. Pictured above are two scenes which highlight this very well: how they are two sides of the same coin, and can rather easily tap into that other side (coin metaphor be damned).

For Raph, here we have a scene where he is separated from the others, in “Across The Universe”. He doesn’t act his normal hot-headed self so much in this episode; instead he lectures his temporary companion about honour, before berating himself for sounding like Leo. This implies that he very much understands Leo’s personality as well as the necessity of it - so when Leo’s not there to fill that role, he steps up to do it.

For Leo, although season four isn’t the only time this happens, he gives in to his emotions, and is shown as much more aggressive in the scene above. Raph states that he doesn’t mind, that he enjoys Leo talking tough. This also suggests a kinship because they understand each other’s emotional sides very well. In “Lone Raph and Cub”, whilst Donnie and Mikey just tell him to calm down, Leo lets Raph take off to blow off some steam - understanding his emotios, as we also often see Leo take off to vent on his own.

Both sides are essential, which they clearly acknowledge. Raph prefers to be able to go head first into battle, but he understands the necessity of a leader and honour too: and trusts Leo in this role, to the point that he mimics Leo when he’s not there. Meanwhile Leo prefers the role of the leader, but he isn’t above giving into emotions and venting his frustrations on his opponents every once in a while: and understands Raph’s emotional needs because he shares them.

Yeah, easiest to write is the same as the '03 boys, I definitely find Grav and Grid easiest to write just like I do with Leo and Raph -- although unlike the usual universe, I find myself flowing a little more easily with Griddex than Gravi sometimes. I'm not sure why, maybe just because I have so many feelings about Griddex and he's the one who inspired me to write that drabble and go down this path.

Blob and Shelle alternate being the hardest to write but I think it's more often Shelle, which is surprising considering in the normal universe Mikey is the hardest for me to write. I think because it can be hard to strike the balance with Shellectro's sharper, more hardened edge while still retaining some of the softer Don we know in '03.

He's just so <3 Something about how he lives with his complicated contradictions

Thinking about all the Raphs and their deep seated fear of scaring or hurting the people they love, and how Grid's super strength makes him even more capable of doing that and thus even more at risk and how Sliver's judgment and the public eye put even more pressure on him to so, so carefully toe the line at all times.

Sliver in the comic saying, "We have been unable to max out his strength," and thus Grid always lives in some level of tension and uncertainty, not knowing his own limits. Sliver training him and his brothers by fear tactics and survival instincts -

(Clamped and bolted to the table with the drill, Sliver saying, "You must get out of this if you want to live!" And the voiceover: Sliver's aggression scared us. But we thought he was doing what was best for us.)

- But the training is so backwards because Grid isn't allowed to act on simple aggression or fear or survival instincts out there or anything could happen. What if, what if, what if?

Thinking about this Superman quote: "I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard, always taking constant care not to break something, to break someone; never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die." And how deeply Grid can probably relate.

How effortless it would be for him to kill someone if he gives into that famous Raph temper for even a moment and he's not a ninja who can vanish anonymously into the shadows afterward. It would be out there for the whole world to see, it would damage his whole family's reputation by extension.

Thinking about the times I've been in my turtle suit and little kids have wanted to come up to me but then they get scared and shy away and hide when I'm just 5' 6". How much more often Grid probably has to deal with that being nearly seven feet tall (and taller.) Something about the concept of gentle giants but by the nature of his work and his home life, he can't be. But with no upper limits, what could he become?

He loves his work, he loves the fight! But he can't love it too much or what if he goes too far and people fear his aggression as he fears Sliver's? What if they get the wrong idea and think what he loves is the destruction rather than the defense?

People judging him by appearances, because people always do. He's probably the automatic fall guy everybody is most likely to point at with accusations of property damage and collateral damage and using too much force and carelessness and etc. etc. etc. out in the field. The biggest target by nature. Made to feel like he's scary. Made to feel like he literally doesn't fit in. Made to feel small for taking up too much space. Made to feel like he's too much or not enough.

It's all of Raph's characteristic struggles with self-control and self-worth and the fear of being his own - and his family's - worst enemy, amped up to as yet unknown limits, put under a constant spotlight, constant pressure, with no real parental guidance or support - with the "guidance" actively worsening it, with the parent being his family's worst enemy.

BUT HE STILL MANAGES TO DO GOOD!

All the torture and manipulation and betrayal and loss of trust, it was all perfectly stacked for him and the team to give in to feeling lost and purposeless but they don't! He doesn't! He's the one who makes the vow to the city on behalf of the team that he and his brothers will not rest until they've defeated the evil!