Good Things Don't Come to Those Who Wait

does anyone else feel like….idk how to explain it….like completely disconnected from life around them? constantly going “these are my friends” and “this is my home” and “this is my life” and “this is my body” to remind yourself that you’re not just some timeless floating essence and even those mantras are completely useless and you almost never come down from it and you’re feeling like….everything is real but also completely fake at the same time

sry but depression for me isn’t smudged mascara and crying into a boy’s chest and acting romantic and reckless, it’s honestly just staring at the wall and not showering for days and not going out with friends and feeling so fucking disconnected from everything that i can barely breathe. it’s not pretty. it doesn’t have to be pretty. fuck you for trying to make a mental illness aesthetically pleasing, like it’s something i should be proud of. 

sext: hey i’m genuinely wondering how youre doing

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wouldnt it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time

im literally so terrified of someone being a part of my life for a long time bc i know it’s gonna hurt like a bitch when they leave