thanks im gay

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

Rich people are literally just lying about being good at money btw

Things like overdraft fees, late fees, parking tickets, fines, subscription renewals, legal fees, penalty fees, sales and discounts, lawsuits - these are things that all cease to matter in any material way once you have enough money

To Jeff Bezos, a parking meter, a plane ticket, and a private jet all effectively cost the same amount of money: none

scientists have recently announced that exoplanet HR 3499a is no longer believed to be potentially capable of supporting life, after new spectroscopic readings indicated that it doesn't even have a dishwasher. "i mean, it doesn't even have a fucking dishwasher," said the lead researcher. "I guess you could live there, but, like, would you really want to?"

I think the funniest thing Toby Fox could do is not have Papyrus show up in Deltarune at all and then in the post credits after you you beat the game you'd see a message appear that says "you can now play with Papyrus" and then he'd be retroactively inserted into every single chapter like some kind of new game+

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

I won't ever get over the removal of headphone jacks, or micro sd slots, or cd drives. I won't. Fuck everyone and everything

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

in absence of any other details i'm gonna go ahead and state definitively and for the record that lindsey graham died because his ditzy fairy ass forgot the rule about not taking poppers on viagra and had what is known to medical science as a "Faggot's Stroke" and if his estate wants to correct that information so i can giggle about the real reason then they're welcome to call my office

i didn't know that about poppers and viagra thats really important information

oh yeah no poppers + viagra can cause fatal fluctuations in blood pressure, stay safe girls

similar topic but it's so funny to me when people are like "you can't ship these people one of them is the other's father figure!" as if wanting to fuck a father figure isn't the only joy left in this life

WHAT IS FORMULA ONE