Back in March I went to another state I’ve never visited before in order to visit my little sister. I was only gone for 4 days, and throughout that time….you called me and texted me. We stayed up into the wee hours of the night talking about “US” and where we were heading. By this point we hadn’t spoken much so I figured we were really over. But once you remembered I was leaving town you reached out to me. During one of our late night conversations you said “I hate that you are thousands of miles away from me right now…..I never want you to be that far away from me, I need to be able to come get you and see you.” And of course me being the hopeless romantic that I try to suppress and unalive. I melt and smile at the thought of how you are suffering from me not being there. The fact you even said that in the first place.
I told you how my mother over heard one of our fights and you went into full on panic mode major! Because getting/having the parental unit’s approval means the most to you. You make promises to do better and be better and do more self healing/work. On my last day of visiting my sister you had excitement in your voice. I NEVER had a man who was excited to see me and ready to greet me once I arrive home.
Once we got back home you came over IMMEDIATELY! You were at my front door in what felt like less than 10 mins. (I guess that helps when you literally live so close to my grandma’s house) you smiled at me the whole time wanting to sit right next to me on the sofa, but you maintained your cool in the single chair and you prepared yourself. When you seen my mother get up from the sofa you stopped her and you spoke directly to her looking her in the face and you apologized for how you treated me, you apologized for how badly you talked to me. You told my mother how much you love me and for how long you’ve felt that way about me and you didn’t ever want to treat me poorly. You said you respected my mother and therefore you needed to do better at respecting me and you vowed to do so. You vowed to do whatever it takes to make me happy and feel safe and keep me in your life. My mother looked at you and said her peace and said she will see for herself if you actually keep your word.
Then we went over to your house where we could talk more openly in private without my family interfering. You openly expressed your feelings for me and how much you wanted to keep me, you expressed what you feel when we go weeks not talking. You said you talk to the most high about me and what you should do about me. And you feel as if the most high was talking to you and told you I was the one you are supposed to be with. And you didn’t want to screw up anymore. You cried for me, in front of me, and I cried because of the mix feelings. Then I had to tell you my child’s dad was coming into town to see our son. And naturally you felt concerned and mostly uncomfortable about that idea. You assumed I would get back with him, you wanted to be there when he arrived at my grandmas house. You wanted to “chin check” him (verbally) to make sure he understood that I belonged to you. It felt noble to me but I reassured you that I could handle it and it will be fine. Then you said that one line that tugged at my heart strongly. “I’m afraid you are going to leave me!” You said it in a concerned way you said it with all seriousness in your voice, you said it like you were about to cry again. I looked at you and once again reassured you that wouldn’t happen. I can’t look at my child’s dad the same way ever again.
The next day you came to see me at my job, you stayed for a long while, you witnessed my son’s dad let him down once again! You witnessed him bail on him without even feeding him breakfast as promised. You witnessed me crying angry tears, me getting seriously pissed the hell off at the level of betrayal and neglect he showed our son. You heard the pain in my voice from the angry venting. You then Calmed me and told me to come over after I showered and changed and packed a bag. I listened….. at your house you told me you will be a better man for me the man I needed, and you would be a better role model for my son. You will pick up the role as the father figure for my son since his own dad failed miserably. I cried more and just nodded and said “OK”.
That one sleep over night turned into my son and I never leaving at all. We now live with you, and we have magically taken our relationship to the next level and I’m learning so much about myself I wouldn’t have thought about if the situation didn’t present itself. And it’s somehow making us stronger. If there’s a debate or disagreement you can’t stand the idea of me going to bed angry at you. And you’ve done so much for me. I’ve bonded with your sister and your mother and it makes you so happy and more reassured that you made the right choice in not letting me go. That I’m to be YOUR WIFE!
