Jerome Moreau

Not all one night stands are a breeze. Here are some starters for awkward muses either before or after the deed is done. This can be turned into something fluffy, humorous, or angsty.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“Why am I bed with you?”

“I didn’t think I’d literally be sleeping with my enemy.”

“N-No! I wasn’t trying to sneak away! What gives you that idea?”

“This is bad, you’re my best friend. How did we end up like this?”

“This was unexpected…”

“Do we start making out? Holding hands or…?”

“Are you crying?”

“Not saying that the sex was terrible. But I had better.”

“What is wrong with me? Why did I sleep with you?”

“Look, when I get drunk, I do stupid things. This was one of them.”

“I would stay, but my ride is already outside, so…”

“Sorry. I’m just wasn’t in the right head space.”

“Can we take a raincheck on the sex?”

“Ugh, right… I forgot we worked together. See you tomorrow, I guess.”

“When I asked for a tutor, I didn’t expect an anatomy lesson…”

“It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve never done this with anyone before.”

“My biggest regret was letting you into my room.”

“I’m bad at seducing people. So this was a shock I even got this far.”

“I’m a virgin, so this is a first for me.”

“Um…shit. Sorry, I need to go now.”

“Let’s not talk about this ever again.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“We’re just friends, that’s all. This was a moment of weakness.”

“Great, who thought getting drunk and taking home the first person was a good idea?”

“I’m trying to wake up from this nightmare, but it’s not working.”

“So… Are we like cool now?”

“Shut up! This wouldn’t happen if I didn’t take your advice!”

“Gross, I’m gonna need therapy after this.”

“Here’s some advice: Next time don’t do that in bed.”

“I felt like I just died and woke up in hell.”

“Sorry, what was your name again?”

“Do people shake hands or cuddle after sex with a stranger?”

“When I said I loved you, it was in the heat of the moment.”

“Did we really just have sex?”

“I had a dream about this once. Wanna hear about it?”

Muses meeting for the first time. This could be a random encounter, something awkward, or something to break the ice!

❝Sorry, looks like I went to the wrong house.❞

❝This isn’t the first time they locked me in a room with a stranger.❞

❝I thought you were a celebrity, you’re pretty hot.❞

❝I got these movie tickets, but the person I wanted go with bail on me. Wanna watch it with me?❞

❝Don’t ask me how I got here, but just know you need my help.❞

❝I can’t reach the top shelf. Can you help me?❞

❝Do you work here?❞

❝My name is _______. I’m hired to become your life coach.❞

❝I don’t really care for blind dates, but you impressed me.❞

❝The mailman delivered your package to my place again. Sorry about that.❞

❝Who are you and how do you get into my house?❞

❝I thought that pickup line would work, but it just made things awkward.❞

❝I’m going to be honest I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.❞

❝Trust me. I’m an expert on this.❞

❝Aren’t you in my class?❞

❝Pretend you don’t recognize me.❞

❝Didn’t expect a stranger to help me with my hangover.❞

❝Is this yours? They asked me to return to you.❞

❝Looks like we both got dumped, wanna go drown our sorrows at the bar?❞

❝Who the hell do you think you are?❞

❝Do you even know who I am?❞

❝You look like my first love, I wanted to see if you were them.❞

❝Need some change? I got you covered.❞

❝Can you explain to this police officer I’m not the culprit?❞

❝Thanks for bailing out of that awkward situation.❞

❝I’m not alone and I certainly wasn’t crying about it!❞

❝Hey, do you believe in aliens?❞

❝Sorry, this a bad time. Can we raincheck this?❞

❝Do you need any help?❞

❝How can you be so rude?❞

❝This is random, but do you find me attractive?❞

❝Nice shirt, where did you get it?❞

❝First time? I can tell. You look really nervous.❞

❝Ugh, I can’t believe I missed the bus!❞

If we kissed?

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