* 친구.

  ( 🧷 )  ──  * / this is a selective multimuse blog dedicated to WEAK HERO CLASS show on n/tflix . written by nassy , please reach the roster & rules beneath the cut . please follow with caution because triggering topics will be written ; if themes like bullying and violence trigger you , you shouldn't be here .

his childhood was a brief tornado of memories , mostly painful ones with scrapped knees and cracked bones , not because he was hurt but because he was a happy child that loved playing and falling down over and over ─ he'd cry his eyes out , the next day he'd go out to play the same game again . ever since he woke up , he didn't want to play anymore . perhaps not even because of the ache and exhaustion in his bones but because of .. this . sieun . those eyes looking at him their usual glint , as if they were going to burst into tears at any moment . suho wants to get angry again , at whatever that made sieun tear up like this . this veiled anger that dies down in the pit of his chest while he stares at him , his fingers clench around sieun's hand .

what if i lose you again ?

suho can't take it anymore . he ignores the way his muscles throb in reminder when he brings sieun closer to hug him . back rising from the pillow , arms reached upward slightly ─ tightly wrapped around sieun's form . the palm of his hand cradles the back of sieun's neck , eyes close . when was the last time he really touched anyone ? touched anyone as tenderly as this , longingly as if he's found a glass of water in the middle of a desert . two long years of a deep sleep , it's easy to talk about it but forum has been awake during these years . isn't that worse ? how long has he been suffering like this ? to sit outside the room and only send suho the messages he wasn't even sure he was going to read . tears tickle suho's eyes , he screws his eyes shut again and one of them rolls down his cheek .

for a moment , while the possibility is quite low and almost impossible , baekjin thinks he's going to call the police . baku had plenty of time to do it and he didn't , he hasn't . he probably doesn't even know what baekjin does for a living now , unless he guessed it ─ god of course he did . disappeared for three years , got up the ranks of the same gang that tried to kill him and passed out in an alley because of blood loss . the school he went to spoke about him with such pride , all of the teachers were sure that na baekjin was going to be someone great . someone who will save the world . he wonders what baku is now , the house is the same , he recognizes baku's room .

he has sat up now , there are bandages wrapped around his torso and around his shoulder . his clothes are different , the front of the shirt left open for better access to the wound . baekjin kicks his chapped lips and keeps his eyes low , feels baku walk closer , feels him sit on the bed beside him and he has to close his eyes . what's he supposed to tell him now ? did he take the hints he sent him with unknown numbers ? the specific messages he was too drunk , longing for baku to stop himself from sending . he must have guessed that baekjin was alive . otherwise he'd be louder than this , aggressive even . baekjin was expecting him to punch him for hiding , pretending to be dead all these years but it's simple ─ what baku does . baekjin is surprised at how well he takes it , save for the brief catch in his breath , he doesn't react that bad to baku gently touching his chin . turning his head sideways toward him , he looks back at baku bravely . please darling , understand that i had no other choice , i didn't even know you still wanted me alive . baku's thumb rubs under his bottom lip , sends a shiver down his spine , he curls his fist on the sheet and his bravery dies down as quickly as it came to him . ‘ i'm fine .. ‘ he whispers for no reason , he doesn't know why , he doesn't even know if that's what baku wants to hear . warmth travels down his neck , the tips of his ears . his skin burns , baku's thumb is against his lips and he mindlessly parts his lips . for what ? he's not sure , he whispers again ; ‘ humin-ah .. ‘ his fingers curl around baku's wrist , not to push him away obviously , just because he has to hold on to something . his own thumb brushes against baku's wrist , keeps his touch against his lips before he closes his eyes and leans into the touch . a brief peck against the pad of baku's thumb , lingering .

shup up , meets the blank expression that doesn't even flinch , doesn't change . baekjin waits , he always does , for baku to break his pride and sit with him . as far as baekjin knows and remembers , baku was always hungry ─ now there shouldn't anything philosophical nor psychological discussed here but baekjin used to watch baku eat like a sailor and wonder if it's because he's hungry to be loved . the same father that he worries about now ( because baekjin is creepily good at reading the micro expressions on baku's face ─ ) , is the same man that makes mistakes . unlike baku , he's accepted it at a young age that moms and dads , sometimes , don't really want to be moms and dads anymore .

days spent wandering outside , sitting on the benches at parks or inside the cafes in winter until the waiter politely asked him to leave ; all because baekjin's father didn't want him to come home before nighttime . because he didn't want to be a dad . and absence , cold winter days , feeling lonely was much better than his father's terrible rage . baku's father wasn't like that . he was a difficult man , but he cooked for baku , sometimes , probably when he brought him money . still , he wasn't worth an ounce of baku's innocent concern .

baekjin knows this desperation . baku's father wasn't always as violent and cold as baekjin's dad used to be , but he's still not the one that's qualifito be a father . baku has a soft heart , ready and able to forgive the worst crimes ; look at baekjin , still allowed to walk beside him after all the things he did . but one devil doesn't want the other devil to hurt the saint he's hurting ─ to put it lightly , no one was allowed to hurt baku unless it was baekjin himself . and only if baku forced his hand , thankfully , he's not . his thoughts are interrupted when baku speaks again , they wander away from baku's father to this moment . whatever it is . he's starved for a crumbs of baku's attention for so long , he forgot how it felt to really have it .