all the truth in the world is held in stories

i love you jarred sauces i love you frozen and pre-cut vegetables i love you pre-diced chicken i love you beef mince i love everything that makes cooking easier and more accessible to me so i don't have to eat takeout or microwave meals every day

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

Listen pal, the subtitles stay ON.

I hope beautiful things happen to you, and when they do, I hope you welcome them without doubt, knowing you deserve every single one ♡

no matter what queer joy persists

just rewatched 'dan and phil try a drinking game' and at one point dan can't show his most recent text bc it was 'a draft for something top secret' WAS THAT THE PHARD LAUNCH??? THAT VIDEO WAS FROM JUNEEEEEE

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

This feels like when you’re finally invited to sit at the Adult Table and learn all the family lore in the most surreal infodump of all time