Gay Witch

you do not have permission to stop caring about vampires just because october is over btw. vampires are a year round event

I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

you know that one drug PSA where that girl comes home and her dog starts talking to her like “you’re not you when you’re high. I don’t like you when you’re high because getting high makes you a loser.”? if my cats had the ability to talk to me when I came home high they’d be like “get high as fuck. we love it when you get high as fuck and sit with us on the floor and give us treats and play toys with us.”

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

having depression makes your friends seem like the coolest most put together people on earth like wow... you got out of bed, had breakfast, went to work, AND spent some time on a hobby when you got home....? that's so impressive you're like superman or something. can i borrow your power.

watching someone make 3 meals a day and brush their teeth with the awe of watching an olympic athlete