ET PHONE HOME

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

yeah, you can go piss, girl... bit it'll cost ya

another thing abt me. i use the 👍 emoji very liberally. im not being sarcastic or passive aggressive im being like cool ok or thanks for the heads up or etc. to me 👍 is an innocent happy polite little emoji

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

i love this website

reblog to sauté the horrors