It is actually nuts how much Grace is canonically liked and likeable in PHM. Obviously there's all the hints about how much the crew like him, but even outside of that, we can see that in his pre-project life, when he wasn't 'important,' people wanted him around! His fellow teachers were asking him to hang out, and he had more friends than just Marissa! Who, by the way, hung out with him every Thursday night (insane amount of consistency for adult friendship tbh) for YEARS. Don't even get me started on how Marissa met him because he was the roommate of a guy she BROKE UP WITH. Imagine staying friends with your college ex-boyfriend's roommate for almost two decades??? To the point that you tell him about a world-changing problem before it's even public, just because it's him.
And even with all of that, he sees himself as alone.
#phm#‘i like to keep a wall up in my relationships’ well other people would like you not to. so how about that.#admittedly i do think we’re supposed to read movie!grace as much more of a loner#(there’s a bunch of little moments like his lonely polaroid and his awkwardness in the karaoke scene that imo are meant to reinforce this)#and that’s the characterisation i prefer to lean on in fics because it suits my purposes#plus if you're writing in first person it's in character for him to *say* he doesn't have a lot of friends#but i also see posts that imply that he’s like. bursting with love and ready to reach out and make friends and form meaningful connections#and that nobody ever met him with that same energy in return before rocky?#and that’s just straight up not true?#other people clearly like grace and want him around and make an effort to reach out to him#it’s just that he only wants to let people in a certain amount and no further.#he likes his boundaries! he likes his clearly defined and fairly superficial relationships!#he describes himself as ‘not a people person’#the distance that exists between him and other people and the reason why he feels alone is largely his doing i'm afraid!#because he is. say it with me guys. a coward.#he's risk averse and scared of getting hurt or being vulnerable and that extends to his interpersonal relationships <3#he reaches out as much as he's comfortable and then scares himself off and retreats!
(tags by @grimark)
#I LOOOVE this little moment so much. just as much of a characterisation bombshell as the suicide method talk one#people reach out to him for connection. he shuts them down and assumes they want him around for purely pragmatic reasons#cause that's safe. that's less scary#hashtag mycoward#phm#ryland grace#meta#📖#🎬
#like for real. as a guy who has semi frequent spirals about being lonely. and who has also been meaning to message back#their best friend for. checks dates. over a week.#sometimes the problem is you!!!#my hottest phm take is rocky is absolutely not the first person grace has met who he Clicked with#rocky is the first person grace clicked with that he has been forced into inescapable close proximity with#like yes they do have one thing in common that is entirely unique to the two of them#but earth is not hurting for mean sarcastic autistics. grace did a STEM DEGREE.#and then also like. if we contrast rocky and stratt.....#stratt is also holding grace at arm's length. it's mutual#it's not good for either of them. and again it's partly circumstance#they can't be close the whole world is at stake. what a lovely convenient excuse#whereas rocky and grace can't not be close
don’t mind me just archiving. nicking these as well. Yeah he totally clicked with, like, Carl! For one! but the Hail Mary is an extremely fun like uhhhh dubcon middle school pressure vessel proximity device. What if the choice to withdraw and choose yourself was taken away because you were always doing stuff with your friend. Welcome to being besties. Like BEST friends best friends. You can’t not choose them. You’d choose them of course you would but it isn’t a choice and thus isn’t a burden. You’re in a situation and you don’t have to choose your friend. You can’t choose yourself, and you don’t have to choose your friend! They’re just there, and of course you’re friends with them. No effort and no options. Just the reliable constant of being with your best friend…
