Demi-Girl? Gender-fluid? Trans?
The past few months, I've been questioning whether I'm any of the three above, and it's so confusing because sometimes I feel like I want to be a boy, so I'll work out, I'll wear my makeshift binder, and even though I know it isn't healthy, I'll go to sleep in it, ot bind with tape just to be flatter. But then sometimes I feel the need to sexualize myself in order to feel validation that I am a girl, and while I've never talked about this to anyone, I feel like I'm just used to being a girl; I'm used to seeing my female body, but it doesn't make me any more comfortable. Yet when I think of myself as male, it feels strange and new but not necessarily in a bad way. Another thing is I don't feel comfortable when I'm not wearing a bra or binder to cover my bits, even though I'm always wearing a shirt; even when I sleep, I have to sleep with a bra or binder on in order to feel safe, or I just feel naked. And I don't like the feeling of being naked, even when I'm alone. It feels too exposed. But it feels as though if I came out as trans, I'd regret it. Try to change my mind or something, and it scares me that others will get frustrated with feeling the need to keep up my pronouns. Erin out.
