trying.

For when you’re running through the streets of a steampunk city

For when you’re gettin’ lit and plunderin’ ships with your rowdy pirate crew

For when you’re exploring the surface of a new planet

For when you’re in a southern, mystical Wuthering Heights™️ situation

For when you’re roaming the fog ridden streets of Victorian London

For when you’re traveling Europe by train with your college friends in the 1900s alternatively light academia

For when you’re on a space adventure with a fearless band of friends

For when you’re wandering through the palace gardens awaiting an arraigned marriage

For when you’re sailing on the high seas and your crew is singing some shanties to keep the spirits up

For when you’re walking through the streets of a big city and you can’t help feeling like there’s something magical running through your veins

For when you’re experiencing the Highs and lows of aristocratic life

For when you’re chilling with your cyborg friends at an android jazz club

For when you’re monster hunting in a small woodland town

https://jowritesstuff.wordpress.com/2019/02/09/book-recipe-how-to-write-dark-academia/

THINGS YOU’LL NEED

- flashbacks

- don’t forget the murder

- monologues monologues monologues

- at least one discussion absolute minimum about morality and ethics

- what is the plot. what does this tell me? who knows! the aesthetic is nice, but the most you’ll learn from it is probably just ‘murder more carefully’?

- have a token female character. poc don’t exist ahahaha

- everyone is pretentious, basically all of the main characters are elite and reasonably/pretty wealthy, except maybe the main character

- COVERING UP A MURDER

-the look of surprise when someone brings them a cup of tea, unasked for, just saying they thought they would enjoy it.

-breaking a glass on accident and panicking, expecting terrible, terrible things, but a caretaker just bumbles over with a broom, pulling on a pair of slippers and telling them not to move, not to step on anything.

-being given an unexpected hug, and stiffening, then melting into it.

-relaxing slowly, until one day they’re surprised at how comfortable they are with these new people.

-latching onto the roughest, meanest of the bunch, because that’s who they were familiar with, and the gruff, tough, scary person ending up softening up to them.

-always waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though it doesn’t.

So I come from a small (midwestern) town. And I mean - an actual small town (less than 1,500 population). I’ve lived in towns of under 500 population, and in towns of about 2,500 population, and in towns of 15k population, and in cities of 100k, and currently in a 700k city. 

So here’s some things about small towns you might not know if you’ve never lived in one:

If it’s got a population higher than 30 thousand, it’s not a small town. It’s just a town. Hell, I’d probably argue that if it has a population higher than 10 thousand it’s not small town, but I’m being generous. However the people in towns 30k–50k probably think they’re in a small town (they’re not).

The experience is vastly different depending on how far you are from a small-large city. And by that I mean - the people are vastly different. 

Are you less than 60min drive to a city of 80k+ population? the people are probably less likely to be farmers, more likely to work in said small-large city and commute (which doesn’t mean that everyone commutes or that no one is a farmer). The people probably lean slightly to the right of the closest city, but aren’t necessarily staunch conservatives. The town sizes probably bottom out around 2k min. 

Are you more than 2hrs drive from a city of 80k+ population? The town is more self-sufficient. Most work within their small town or a nearby small town. Depending on the terrain, more people are farmers. They’re probably mostly conservative, both socially and fiscally. The town sizes could be as small as 300 people.

The farther from the city, the more likely to be conservative, more likely to be farmers (depending on the terrain).

Population 15k+:

This town probably has a (singular) hospital, several doctor’s offices, probably a dozen department stores - and if it’s rural enough, probably a couple kinds of hardware/diy type stores (lowe’s, menard’s, home depot etc.)

There are several options for vets and at least one emergency vet 

1-2 dozen hotels

If it’s got anything touristy, double the hotels (2-3 dozen) - touristy being water, especially large lakes, hiking trails, fesitvals, nearby ski resort - any thing that would draw people there on vacation, even if it’s only people from that region 

Also add a “down town” area - boutiques, nice restaurants, probably a theatre

It has at least 4 options of elementary schools, and 3 options each for middle and high schools. It might have a community college (but probably not). There are private or charter options, specifically for religious students

There are multiple denominations of churches (catholic, lutheran, baptist, episcopal etc). Depending on ethnic make-up, it may or may not have a synagogue. It probably won’t have a mosque.

If it’s in a rural-ish area (the closest towns are all smaller) it probably has some kind of shopping mall. If it’s the smaller town, it may not.

It’ll have several bars, probably clustered in a central location, with a few others a little farther out from that area. 

This town has a few coffee shops (3-10), but may or may not have an actual starbucks. At least one is a local place, at least one is a chain (starbucks, dunkin, biggby). 

People drive everywhere. There is a bus system, but only the “down town” area would have issues finding parking. Most businesses/hotels have their own parking lot.

Most people live in houses but there are a few (3-7) apartment complexes, most of which are several buildings

There will be lots of restaurants, mostly chains or small mom & pop places, with at least a couple niceish options

This town might even have its own airport, but likely only serves regional flights to “nearby” larger towns/cities. Regional means like, less than 2hr flights, so that’s probably a bigger distance than you’d think.

There are dozens of gas stations and at least a dozen fast food places

Is it on a freeway? increase the gas stations, fast food places, department stores etc. 

This town probably has a rec-type center with a community pool and courts and what not. There are several options of gyms.

Population 10k ish:

May or may not have a hospital - if it does, it’s small. A few doctor’s offices, a couple of department stores, at least one hardware/diy type

A few vets, may or may not have an emergency vet

a dozen or so hotels. again - double that if it’s got smth that would attract people, especially water.

may or may not have a “down town” area

2-4 options at least of elementary, 2-3 options of middle and high school. No community college.

Still at least a few options of churches. Still might have a synagogue, still probably doesn’t have a mosque.

Probably doesn’t have a shopping mall, but might have a “business district - basically a few intersections with most of the stores, hotels, and restaurants.

Probably has at least two, maybe three coffee shops. At least one is a chain.

Probably doesn’t have its own bus system unless it’s near enough to a town of 15k+ or more - people drive everywhere. There’s plenty of parking.

Most people live in houses, but there are a couple of apartment complexes. Mostish of the houses have yards, but some might not.

A few options of restaurants, but maybe only 1-2 niceish places. A couple chain, a couple mom & pop. 

It would be strange for this town to have an airport. May have a landing strip at most, but unlikely.

There are probably half a dozen to a dozen gas stations. Several fast food places.

Is it on a freeway? increase the gas stations, fast food

This town might have a community rec center w/pool. Still a couple options of gyms.

Population 5k ish:

This town doesn’t have a hospital. It probably has 1-3 doctor’s offices. At least one department store

2-3 vets, likely no emergency vet

3-8 ish hotels or inns 

Might have a quaint but very small “down town” area

Likely only 2 options of schools, maybe only one high school. Possible to go to school with same people your whole life

2-3 options for churches. Probably doesn’t have a synagogue unless there’s a large Jewish population 

There’s no shopping mall of any kind, but probably has an area where most of the businesses are - at most 2-3 intersections worth

Probably has a coffee shop or two, but might not. Could be a chain or a local - but probably a local.

There’s no bus system unless it’s near enough to a town of 15k+. People drive everywhere.

Most everyone lives in houses. Most if not all have yards. There might be 1-2 apartment complexes but maybe not.

There are a few restaurants - mix of chain and mom & pop places. Might have a nice restaurant, but only one.

There’s no airport.

There are probably 2-6 gas stations, maybe 1-2 fast food. 

Is it on a free way? increase the gas stations and fast food.

Likely does not have its own rec center/pool, but probably has 1-2 options of gyms.

Population under 2k ish:

No hospital. Probably has one doctor’s office, but might not if it’s close enough to a larger “small” town. No department stores, but probably at least one, maybe 2 decent grocery stores. Could be a local chain or a mom & pop.

Probably has a vet’s office, but just one. 

1-2 inns/motels. If it’s an older town, it has like, a street that’s mostly made of older style buildings and is the “down town” - just a couple of blocks

Just one school system - elementary through high school. Everyone goes through the same school - you probably graduate with the same people you went to kindergarten with

1-2 churches. Probably no synagogue

There is probably a generalish area where the store/post office/school/etc is, but those are probably just as surrounded by homes and yards as everything else.

This town probably doesn’t have a coffee shop, and if it does, it’s local, not a chain.

There’s no bus system unless it’s close enough to a town of 15k+. People drive.

There might be an apartment complex. Everything else is houses. The houses pretty much all have some kind of yard.

There are probably two restaurants, probably both local. Nothing fancy. 

No airport.

Probably 2ish gas stations.

Is it on a free way? add a gas station and a fast food restaurant.

There’s no rec center (unless maybe an outdoor like, field type rec center), but still likely has at least one gym.

I could keep going down but I think you get the idea. If you’re writing about an actual town, do research on its population. If you’re making up a town, think about what size you need it to be to have the things you want (or don’t want). 

If your “small town” has more than one hospital, it’s not a small town. If it’s got a population above 10k, there is definitely more than one (and likely, many) hotels. 

Is it near decent-sized water (largeish lake, ocean)? People probably have vacation homes there. That increases property value and tourism. Even if it’s not a like, nationally-known vacation spot, people within 100-200 miles could likely make weekend trips there.

writer: *spends 25 minutes on google trying to figure out the right vocab word*

writer: *gets a paragraph done*

writer: *starts another sentence, stops* what is that really specific fact I need?

writer: *spends an hour trying to figure out this obscure thing that probably doesn’t actually matter*

writer: Wait what’s that thing called again?

writer: *has no idea how to search for what I need*

writer: *ends up digging through blogs and other archived websites for details*

writer: *needs to reference source material for fact checking*

writer: *has to eat and sleep at some point*

writer: should it be “she regards him with disdain” or “she glares at him with disdain” ??? (hint: it doesnt matter but gunna go back and forth over it for an hour)

writer: *gets distracted by the internet in general*

writer: HOW IS THIS ONLY 800 WORDS???????

writer: fuck proofreading

writer: okay fine i’ll proofread.

writer: holy shit this is awful.

writer: *reworks entire sections*

writer: *doesn’t think I’m good enough as a writer and stops for a few days*

“Haunted pool. Great.” Gracie sighed. Matt rolled his eyes and nudged her side with his elbow, urging her to follow him. He started to make his way to the deep end with his shotgun locked and loaded, ready to fire at any half-naked ghosts of dead teenagers from the 90’s.

Behind him, his sister stared up at the ceiling and groaned. “Why did you guys think that throwing a pool party here would be a good idea? The floor’s made of freakin’ tiles!”

“Freakin’?”

Here’s the writers who can’t output enough to keep up with the most popular writers.

Here’s to the writers writing even though they get no feedback.

Here’s to the writers who somehow manage to scrape together a little inspiration and a lot of hard work to write that story they know nearly no one will read.

Here’s to the creators who keep going even when it’ feels like screaming into an empty void.