Am I a simulation?

It was so much pain that the only way to sleep was to pass out.. I wasn't a drug addict, I was an escaping reality addict. Am I overpass the pain or I just used to it? What doesn't kill us it hurt us, I need blood for my soul

All these silent screams, the burning in your chest and the bad acid in your stomach, fog in your brain.... It's been a long time, actually 3 years that I am healing and it's not about learning to go over it but to go through it... But I get stuck sometimes, it happens, sometimes it feels like I take a break but other times it feels like the depression wins, I don't know, maybe.. and I'm cool with that because it's not about what happened but what am I doing now and on, and sometimes I have no clue what the fxck am I supposed to do. It hurts but I'm used to it, also healing is to learn to go with it

Would you like you if you met you?

The weight of consciousness, the pain of failure, the razorblades of anxiety, the poking of worry, the face of depression, the hug of fear, the symplegades of sadness, the permanence of wound, the saltines of tears, the view of blind eye, the taste of vomit

I'm sober when I'm paying for my mistakes, the moment when i was buying lust high on drxgs

What hurts the most when no pain is enough?

I remember the sound of the rain drops inside my room, I remember the rusty razor that made this rain, I remember the broken drawer that give me that razor, I remember my hand full of scars opening that drawer, I remember the reasons why my hand is full of scars, I remember i was smiling before i remember

I don't want to forget, I just want to forget for a while