Our Moonlit Scars: The Embrace Of The Moon
Creature Eren | Cabin Mikasa
Words : 981
@eremikaweekevent | DAY 4 ; nightmares & comfort
It was the same every night. He no longer felt the cold of winter; his whole body was burning, surrounded by the flames of his sins. He was both victim and executioner at the same time, his eternal prison, and he felt everything viscerally : the sensation of his bones shattering beneath the giant’s jaws, his eyes bulging from their sockets, his skin tearing apart, scars opening one by one to reveal withered flowers and dead caterpillars, his blood as dark as night in the moonlight, and he screamed, so loudly, screamed in agony, but his screech always echoed in the silence, no one came, and no one ever will, with only eternal torture to keep him company.
Until he then inflicted his own torment on faceless, nameless people, clenching his victims in his fist, their eyes filled with tears and blood, begging for their lives, until he shattered their fragile, tiny bodies to devour their souls and their affliction. He could feel their intestines and wormy guts sliding all over his throat, the foul smell of dried blood and bile enveloped him like a cursed veil. He dyingly wanted to vomit, but couldn't. He was perpetually trapped with death all around him, never understanding its nature, faithful to herself like an old friend visiting him every witching hour, tormenting him, denying him any relief. He could beg, fall to his knees, but Death only merely offered him a mirror to reflect his vile and immoral nature, confronting him with what he truly was: the pathetic, insignificant, silent insect in its purgatory, and the blind demon of these terrifying massacres, playing out these two roles like an endless dance.
After what felt like hours-or maybe even years, he looked up at the moon and suddenly, he saw that it begin to transformed into a gigantic, feminine hand, as pale as the original shape in the sky.
Was this his deliverance? Had an angel taken pity on him and finally granted him an end and peace?
He heard a voice in the distance, so gentle it could only come from heaven, calling his name: “Eren” “Eren.” He had never cherished his name more than at that moment. He held out his claret hand, in desperation, hope shining in his eyes with a trembling smile, the angel met the outcast, the unloved one, until finally touching-
“Eren, it’s me! Please wake up!!”
He was jolted awake by her cries. The room was shrouded in darkness, with only the moonlight filtering through the wooden shutters. Startled by the sudden awakening, he brutally bolted upright, curling up in the corner, his towering figure casting a giant shadow on the opposite wall of the room, until he saw her, clearly, in her white nightgown with straps slipping down of her shoulders, her long, ebony hair flowing down her back. She was sitting on the edge of his bed, her moon-like eyes filled with worry and tears:
"Eren, it’s me, it’s Mikasa. Don’t be afraid, it was just a nightmare, I'm here." Her words came out as a whisper, almost inaudible; like she was talking to a frightened animal.
She reached out her hand toward his cheek, gently inviting him to join her, without fear, just with a strange patience and innocence in her gaze and her gestures, the meaning and origin of which he still didn’t understand.
Mikasa…why did you make the mistake of looking at me when you first saw me?
His body was completely drenched in sweat, the bed completely soaked, but all that mattered was the touch of her hand against his cheek; it was so cold, the same sensation as a snowflake landing on his cheeks when he went out in the morning to admire the sunrise; so cold, so warm, so alive. His breathing began to slow slightly, and he covered her hand as gently as he could with his own, twice as large as hers, burning hot, covered in scars, the roughness masking the beauty, and closed his eyes to simply savor her presence by his side:
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-” He kept muttering it with broken voice until she finally pulled him into her arms, his face buried against her bosom, as she soothed him as best she could by stroking his hair:
“Shh…it’s over, it’s just you and me now.” She continued to whisper to him, solacing him with her caresses; a guardian against his pain, until he fell completely asleep into infinity.
The first rays of sunlight began to appear, the birds began their morning symphony; the mountains were covered in a white so pure and untainted, and in that little cabin lost to the world, two shadows lay entwined. For the first time, Eren had fallen asleep without drifting to the other side of the hell within his mind, he was still embrace by a beauty so unbearably soft who protecting him from all harm, even from himself.
Everything that draws me in condemns me, this forbidden desire…
He was nothing but a monster in a woman’s arms, listening to the beating of her heart as if it were his salvation. Paradise did indeed exist, he thought, and it was an ethereal creature with a scarf around her neck, in that color that had terrified him so much at first, reminding him of blood and the fragility of human nature and his own, until it became a protective sight of tenderness and miracle, the endearment of life replacing death.
He then had the sudden audacity, the indecency in his thoughts, to make a wish, just one, in the silence of the morning mist, as if time had stood still; if anyone could hear him, he prayed to the sky:
"Let me dream of her from now on. Only her."