*singsong voice* UR AN ASSHOLE

bro don't waste money buying a fleshlight I'm literally right here

having a cat is so miraculous. this little guy wants to sleep in my bed with me and purr on my chest. it’s his favorite hobby. no one told him to do that he just Loves His Mommy

nevermind he’s extremely naughty and has terrorized multiple people this morning

squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

reblog to thank ur mutuals for providing enrichment to ur enclosure

wydm you dont sexualize me and fantasize about fucking me raw? i thought we were mutuals

Good morning! I- *bites you* *bites you* *bites you* *bites you*

resteraunts will call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they don’t have to spell restarunt

the job was simple: seduce and murder captain toad. but shyguy never anticipated growing so attached to a target.