yuh

Saw something magical today. Kid in front of us on our flight (prob 4-5 years old) playing a wordle type game and his two first guesses were MOMMY and DADDY

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

Imagine how I feel

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

Turning into an adult is so crazy. I had a nightmare last night about accidentally paying 300 Euros for a slice of ham. I woke up sweating. No one prepares you for that.

can someone reblog this post with that “you’re the music guy, right?” meme where he has paulstretched pictures of thom yorke’s lazy eye on his ipod?

i wish shapes were like bugs and you could just get like a circle infestation in your house or something. fuck ive got bed triangles fuuuck. this could solve everything

Their barbaric dystopian surveillance, vs our helpful preventative surveillance

there are corners of this website where the year is still 2013. and sometimes, on beautiful nights when the veil is thin, you can find them . if you know where to look

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this