5am cocktail hour

Let me begin with saying that I hate this show.

Let me follow that up with I also don’t hate this show at all.

I am annoyed at how fast I binged the first 6 episodes faster than running up my credit card at Macy’s on a black friday sale.

This anime falls into that category of shows I want to tell people about when they say that anime is just cartoons and people shouting at one another about the power of friendship and shit. However, it’s also absolutely drenched in most of common anime stereotypes. 

Nosebleeds, Tsunderes, High School Drama, and that loathsome self-deprecating nerd thing that so many shows do. If I hadn’t already seen a clip of it mid episode somewhere else, I probably wouldn’t have bothered to watch it at all. But I did, and now I’m fucking invested in the drama. Damn it, here we go again.

SO, here’s the rundown: 

It’s a take on the high school thing where students pair up in the class and have a pseudo-family for a grade. In older times, I believe it was something like “raising” a bag of flour, or a plant or an egg or an actual doll to simulate the experience of parenthood and married life. Supposedly teaching the value of cooperation and communication. Personally, I never got to experience this project firsthand, but if I’m being completely honest it’s something I’m sad I missed. High school was an awkward time for me, but that’s another story for another time. I digress.

Anyway, so we have the students being paired up and instead of raising a fake kid, they’re just required to share a dormitory together and emulate what it’s like being with and around someone else to share your life with. For a grade.

I mean like, obviously that’s gonna lead to some shit. A bunch of high schoolers shacking up together on the school’s dime? What could possibly go wrong?

I was skeptical that it was going to be “crazy” (read: overused) antics like guys getting caught peeping in on girls showering and getting slapped or some shit like that, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised that this particular trope has been dropped in favor of actual character development.

Instead we are treated to what will eventually become (what I hope) is an intricate allbeit predictable series of relationship triangles and an actual look into the characters true thoughts and feelings. It’s very clearly still an anime, but we do have moments of genuine anger, jealousy, envy, and sorrow

The characters are somewhat objectively generic; Nerd boy Virgin-kun, Main character-haired Gyaru-chan, Nerd boy Virgin-kun’s best friend Otaku-kun, Meek and squeaky Pigtail-chan, Super popular sporty Fuckboy-kun, MC-haired Gyaru-chan’s friends, Sporty-therefore she must be a lesbian-chan, and some other faceless people to clutter up the screen once an a while. 

I mean, yes, all of these characters have other aspects to them, but let’s be real; this is exactly what they want you to see these characters as.

Virgin-kun and Pigtail-chan have been friends since grade school. Virgin-kun obviously has a thing for her, and repeatedly kicks himself for not having the cajones to say anything to her about it. Pigtail-chan likes to pretend she’s not aware of this, but shyly admits to Lesbian-chan that she’s 150% got a thing for him too. Who could’ve possibly guessed that?

Gyaru-chan is literally drooling over Fuckboy-kun’s jockstrap, but Fuckboy-kun doesn’t even know what fucking day it is. But hey, pretty people like pretty people, no surprises there.

Well, for this little class experiment, and I know this may come as a shock to you...but Virgin-kun gets paired up with Gyaru-chan. What?!!? You mean the Nerdboy and the Popular girl are forced to work together? What a fucking plot twist!

Stay with me here, it gets even deeper; Pigtail-chan and Fuckboy-kun get partnered up too! What in the actual fuck is going on here?!?!?! Mind= blown. Amazing. I am figuratively speechless. Never saw that one coming at all.

I have to poke fun at this because you can’t possibly watch anime taking it seriously all the time. They needed a starting point, and by gosh they’ve gone and done it.

Now, onto the parts that actual keep me interested:

Majority of the first 6 episodes centers around the “main” couple of Virgin-kun and Gyaru-chan’s everyday cohabitation. There are of course some predictable slapstick moments, but what I actually enjoy is how the tone is lighthearted but also somewhat serious. They’re aware of the situation they’ve gotten themselves into, and they know it’s important for this project to go well if they have any hope of achieving their shared goals. Surprisingly, Gyaru-chan is the one that pushes things forward, but not like in a commanding way. She decides to give it some real effort and fulfill her duties as a wife, and she ain’t too bad at it either. If anything it’s Virgin-kun that can’t manage to get his shit together. He’s not particularly bad at it either, but he struggles with his own insecurities, repeatedly. Still, for what it’s worth, they’re believable.

And wouldn’t you know it, that’s the problem. 

I should mention that the one caveat of this experiment is that if you keep your score up high enough, you can choose to spouse-swap with another couple of equal standing.

Potential drama? Of course. Why the fuck not.

In the following episodes we’re shown a variety of up and down situations as Gyaru-chan and Virgin-kun’s relationship grows, while things between Pigtail-chan and Fuckboy-kun become rather murky as well.

Virgin-kun and Pigtail-chan share a few somewhat innocent moments, just so we’re clear that there’s still something going on there while Gyaru-chan may or may not be on Fuckboy-kun’s radar at all.

But what is Fuckboy-kun really after? His motives are questionable at best.

Is-she-actually-a-Lesbian-chan has her own issues to deal with but still encourages Pigtail-chan to pursue her dreams and not to give up just cause she doesn’t actually know how to talk to boys any more than Virgin-kun can talk to girls.(but they can talk to each other???)

And Otaku-kun...is clearly just there as cannon fodder and the “i don’t want to make our audience uncomfortable dealing with these awkward situations so I’m gonna say some dumb shit” guy.

So I’ll say it again: I hate this show

and also, I don’t hate this show at all.

I hate this show because it’s fuckin sappy. I get frustrated and throw my pillow at the wall when simple shit could be avoided by actual communication

But I also don’t hate it because I realize that these are all part of the characters development. It’s like watching a B-list horror movie that makes you yell “don’t go into the fucking shed” at the screen like an idiot. It’s not that i like yelling at screens, it’s that the show pulled me into this mess and I’m invested. 

I don’t care if everyone gets their happy ending. I’m fully expecting at least 1 if not all of these characters to end up heartbroken or otherwise emotionally damaged. 

But really, the reason I’m going to keep watching is because they make you care about them...just enough.

So, Episode 1 is like:

Ha. Hilarious. Sure why not, I’ll watch Episode 2...but then:

What??????

Nowwwww I get it.

The thing about this scene...this is not a "Yass!" moment.

It's the complete opposite, full of disdain and malice. There's no excitement in his voice, just a contempt and monotone befitting of his character.

This is like 2 seconds before "Let the bodies hit the floor" starts blaring

And it is fucking fantastic.