Look at all those big ass trees

Ralph Breaks the Internet is already a horrible movie but I just can’t begin to imagine how bad it will age

This is so fucking innacurate bc if ralph were real people on twitter wouldnt be hateposting about him theyd be drawing his cock

when you wake up from a 4 hour afternoon nap

@mexicanesecat @raimeyl references for y'all!

WOW! THE OG POST!

i will let my mind go wild with these knowing i’ll finally be able to credit the original artist

EEEE FINALLY THE ORIGINAL ARTIST

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”