do i even post anymore

ok enneagram side of tumblr, this is a tag for you (i hope people actually see it)

here are some meme-ish half statements. complete them with an enneatype.

phew. ok, i’ll start.

i look like a: 7 (edit: after some thought- I look like a 4, so emo and such)

i talk like a: 5

the authorities think i’m a: 8

my family thinks i’m a: 8

my friends think i’m a: 4

strangers thinks i’m a: 2

my classmates/co-workers think i’m a: 3

i wish i was a: 9

i’m actually a: 7

i talk like a: 6

the authorities think i’m a: 1

my family thinks i’m a: 7 or 3

my friends think i’m a: 2

strangers think i’m a: 3

my classmates think i’m a: 1

i wish i were a: 7 or 9

i’m actually a: 3

I look like a: 9

I talk like a: 3

The authorities think I’m a: 6

My family thinks I’m a: 2 or 1

My friends think I’m a: 5 or 7

Strangers think I’m a: 1 or 2

My classmates think I’m a: 5 or 2

I wish I were a: 5

I’m actually a: 6

I look like a: 7

I talk like a: 9

Authority thinks I’m a: 2

My family thinks im a: 4 or 5

Strangers think I’m a: 1 or 7

My friends think im a: 1 or 2

My classmates think I’m a: 5 or 2

I wish I was a: 5

I’m actually a: 2

I talk like a: 9

Authority thinks I’m a: 1

My family thinks I’m a: 5 or 4

Strangers think I’m a: 9 or 5

My friends think I’m a: 5 or 2

My classmates think I’m a: 9 or 4

I’m actually a: 9

I talk like a: 9

Authorities think i am a: 5

My family thinks i am a: 4

Strangers think i am a: cp6/(maybe even 8 tbh)

My friends think i am a: 4?

My classmates think i am a: cp6 or 8 (honestly they think i want to murder someone, i don’t even do anything)

I’m actually a: 9

I look like a: 5. I’d say 1 too.

I talk like a: irl? 8, 9. I come off agressive, and am explosive but also chill and relaxing somehow

Authority thinks I’m a: 9? p6? 4 because i rebel in my way?

Strangers think I’m a: 9, p6, 1, 8?

Familly thinks I’m a: 5, 8, p6?, 1

My friends think I’m a: 5 4 9 8

My classmates think I’m a: ???? 5? 9

I’m actually a: 4

I tag 🤔🤔

i talk like a: 4. edit: people protested. 5 & 6

authority thinks i’m a: well currently i’d guess 7, cp6, or 4. old school easily some combo of 135 tritype

strangers think i’m a: cp6 (i love that) (people sniff out my underlying frustration at everything) (and i like seeing reactions of ppl)

family thinks i’m a: uh. 9w8 maybe on one side, and p6w5 as HELL on the other. a bit 5 maybe.

my friends think i’m a: 5 or 9.

my classmates think i’m a: 5. they sniffed out my nerdiness. :/. and then i got upset over marvel nordic gods and gave them proof for life.

i’m actually a: 5

i talk like a: 7

the authority thinks i’m a: 8

strangers think i’m a: 2

family thinks i’m a: 3 or 9

friends think i’m a: if they knew enneagram they’d say cp6 lol

my classmates think i’m a: 5

i’m actually a: cp6

THX GLITTER FOR TAGGING ME

tagged by @lsfp and @scarredman thank you ✨

I look like a: 9 or maybe p6 (tfw anxiety)

I talk like a: 9, p6 maybe 1 when fi goes off

the authority thinks I’m a: Idk honestly? maybe 1

strangers think I’m a: 2, 9 or 8 depends

family thinks I’m an: 8 or cp6

friends think I’m an: 8 or cp6 lol

my classmates think I’m a: 1

I’m actually: 9w8

(i also wanted to do this for a while)

I look like a: 9 (used to be more like a watered down 4)

I talk like a: 9? or 1. i’m not sure

authorities think I’m a: 5w2, p6

strangers think I’m a: 2w5…?

family thinks I’m a: 1, 4

friends think I’m a: 4, 2

my classmates think I’m a: at school 4 or 5, at uni maybe p6 or 9 idk

I’m actually: 9w1

sorry for reblogging after you @tsvetaya, I just happened to notice this tag after like... 1.5 years... this is probably my only contribution to typology tumblr :’)

anyways, I should redo this, really (but none of this will make sense, be warned)

i look like a: 9w7

i talk like a: 7w3

the authorities think i’m a: 8w4

my family thinks i’m a: 7w5

my friends think i’m a: 7w3

strangers thinks i’m a: 4w5

my classmates think i’m a: p6w7

i wish i was a: 7wp6

i’m actually a: 7wp6  (￣▽￣) 

i feel like this is giving me closure to my typology days... farewell friends...

An Overview of Soc

The Social Instinct, above all, is the desire to belong to a greater whole. This often manifests as a desire for fame, recognition, attention, connections and the valdiation/esteem gained from them, or to make an impact on the world.

Soc fears rejection and shunning, varying its approach and actions to blend in with the group, whether it be climbing the social ladder or helping others and doing good. Soc feels a strong sense of loyalty to the group or community it’s in, especially if it feels appreciated and loved.

Soc connects with others through mutual bonding activities, and getting to know one another at a chosen pace. It seeks stable connections with others, whether for the sake of connecting with others or for their own sake. The interpersonal dance between people from all walks of life.

A common metaphor for Soc is fresh air; it is expansive, and travels far and wide, searching for others of its kind. It also brings forth sunlight; it shines on the Earth, bringing a gleam to all it touches.

Health Levels

(impacts Soc dominants the most)

Healthy Soc

Actively Contributing to Society

When healthy, Soc is selfless, though not self-destructive, and the Soc user is regularly seen doing social work, like participating in community movements or doing missionary work overseas. The Soc user is good-natured and affectionate, with an array of friends and acquaintances, traversing the social realm with grace and ease.

Average Soc

Friendly and Networking

The Soc Instinct becomes less confident in itself in the social realm, and may start to develop social anxiety, worrying what others think of them. At the same time, it becomes generous and amicable, but only if it serves to improve their status and reputation. If the Soc user is without a group or network to support them, they become listless and wandering, searching for something to be a part of.

Unhealthy Soc

Antisocial Attitudes

The Soc Instinct is lost, shunned and/or rejected by others, and starts to develop antisocial tendencies, withdrawing and resenting others or society at large for putting them in such a situation. This attitude further drives others away, burning the bridges between them and human contact altogether.

Soc-Specifics

Soc in so/sx

So/sx has the ability to see everyone simultaneously in relation to a greater whole, but also as individuals. Without any Sp to inhibit its Soc agenda, it can be as free as it wants to be when navigating the social realm. Like a bird in the sky, the so/sx seeks out flocks of people to be a part of, and picks out one or a few people to be best friends with. The cycle repeats, and the so/sx slowly but surely gains a circle of quality friendships.

Soc in so/sp

The so/sp seems to be driven by pure Soc, but unlike so/sx, it comes off as more awkward and bumbling when trying to interact with people. They’re often self-conscious, and do anything they feel that might get them accepted in the group, even if it’s questionable. They can socialize fine, but it is often on their own terms, e.g. if they feel as if their line has been crossed or are being taken for granted, they will back off or outright halt social activity with the person.

Soc in sp/so

The sp/so will use their Soc connection to a greater whole to provide a stable resource to support their Sp lifestyle. Though preferring to mind their own business, they will readily take on social responsibilities or situations if it doesn’t intrude on their inner boundaries. Although Soc-second, this stacking tends to handle people better than so/sp, since their sp needs are established clearly, while so/sp is usually oblivious that they have sp inhibitions at all.

Soc in sx/so

Soc in sx/so seems to be lacking, and there is usually a certain elitism about them; either you’re in their (often rigid) circle or not, no in-between. It filters interpersonal energy from the outside; instead of broadening their scope with Soc, they close off, and disengage into a world of Sx on their own.

Soc-blindness

Soc-blinds have difficulty seeing the need to make new connections (not necessarily the same as friendships) and network. Seen as aloof and stand-offish, they often come with a lack of engagement with people, or an attitude in doing so. They are generally unafraid of going “against the grain” and of social rejection, ignoring social conventions, usually leading to a rocky relationship with authorities. They have no need to be a part of a society or community, presenting an outsider-looking-in perspective.

Soc and Correlations to MBTI

Soc-dominants are mostly found in conventional extroverts, Fe-doms and types with high Ne/Se, such as:

ESFJ

ENFJ

ESFP

ENTP

Five: Okay, first go to settings.

Five: I’m a fucking idiot I thought you said emojis.

“Self-Preservation Sevens are confusing since they tend to be highly sociable and gravitate toward groups like Social Subtypes do.“

No? That´s SO. And SX blind 7s are rare so it doesn´t make sense that the description is so biased towards SO.

“(SP 7) is associated with the cliche of the “party animal,” compulsive socializers who want to enjoy perpetual good times.”

Ever heard the definition of self-preservation? Ever heard of so blindness? The only way I see an SP 7 being the “party animal” is if they´re stuck in a boring or awkward social situation and more or less accidentally over drink because of it. Even so, if they´re SP/SX they would probably just find someone to SX with or leave. Sure SP 7s like to enjoy themselves but hanging out with a bunch of wasted strangers let alone acquaintances is not necessarily their idea of a good time. And if they “need to escape” they´re probably in an unhealthy mental state and in that case would probably do it alone or turn to people in their SX zone. They´re looking for stimulation, not attention.

“(SP 7) interested in the latest gossip and everyone’s news - the group is a comforting barricade against the dangers of the outside world, a bulwark against an infringing universe.”

Again this would be a SO user. Doesn`t apply to SP/SX at all.

“(SP 7) Could equate being disciplined and financially successful with being dull and stodgy. The Seven rebels by staying “free” (i.e. irresponsible and broke).”

SP 7s are still SP doms and even though they might not be the most thrifty people on earth I´d say that if/when they are able to pursue a career or study path they´re actually into they can be very passionate and view financial or other types of success as a way to be even more fulfilled and free (new opportunities, better lifestyle, independence, more flexibility and control over own life). SP 7 could also be that person who works their ass of for months so they can afford to move, travel, or go do whatever their current goal is. And then later they might do it all over again for some other reason. Being broke is restraining and 7s can be very uncomfortable with that. The line between running away from vs. running towards something gets a bit blurry with them.

“(7w8) thin-skinned; may require that the people in their lives candy-coat the truth, telling the seven only what he wants to hear.”

Since when is anyone with an 8 wing / fix thin-skinned?

New alignment chart

Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works

Neutral Tired: You’re tired and tbh you aren’t going to take it to extremes but you’ve thought about it and you take naps when you can

Chaotic Tired: You’ve been tired for 50 years. You’re sleeping right fucking now. You stop doing something for two seconds and immediately nap. The house is on fire. Wake up, bitch.

Lawful Stupid: You remember that one time you forgot your McDonald’s food was on the top of your car and you drove off with it on top? That.

True Stupid: Ben & Jerry’s grape ice cream. That one time you turned in a paper 5 days late and tried to argue that it was a misunderstanding.

Chaotic Stupid: Putting your spoon in the microwave knowing full well that it would go up in flames but you needed the spoon to be hot so you could scoop ice cream easier.

Lawful Bastard: You’re a bastard with a moral code. So you might not actually knock a child over but youre gonna laugh when the little shit falls over or you see it happen in a video.

Neutral Bastard: You are a bastard in everything you do. Not extremely bastard, or too unbastard, but bastard enough. Your friend falls down a flight of stairs and you cackle. You run TheBootyDiaries account on tumblr.

http://www.typealyzer.com/

So this is simplified and everything, but here you go.

Sp 1 is self criticism, so 1 is projecting perfection outward, and sx 1 is external criticism.

An sx blind 1 won’t have that zealous element, an so blind 1 won’t have that mentorlike personality, and an sp blind 1 won’t be perfectionistic.

Sp 2 is seduction via a childlike demeanor, so 2 is seduction via helpfulness, and sx 2 is seduction through straight seduction.

Sx blind 2s won’t have the loverlike quality of 2s, so blind 2s won’t actually be helpful to others, and sp blind 2s won’t have an innocence to them.

Sp 3 are the workaholic aspect of 3s, so 3s are classic stereotypical 3s, and sx 3s embody a masculine or feminine ideal.

Sx blind 3s will be without “star power” NOTE: THESE 3s WILL NEVER AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT, so blind 3s will lack the ability to network and present, and sp blind 3s will lack any humility.

Sp 4s suffer pathologically by containing their feelings under a stoic facade, so 4s suffer by comparing themselves constantly to others with this shame and honor thing, and sx 4s suffer with emotional rawness and an aggressive stance towards others.

Sx blind 4s will lack the raw emotion that most 4s present, so blind 4s will not compare themselves to others, and sp blind 4s will not have any quiet stoicism to them and will make sure everyone knows their issues

Sp 5s withdraw from the world to a private space, so 5s serve in an informer role, and sx 5s horde secret or taboo information.

Sx blind 5s will have none of that mystery lovecraftian air to them, so blind 5s will have no filter for their haughty introversion, and sp blind 5s will be a complete mess trying to isolate themselves for research with no instinct for private research

Sp 6 is physical safety, so 6 is social stability, and sx 6 is attacking threats.

Sx blind 6s are fully invested in their fear with no aggressive resistance, so blind 6s reject trust in others, and sp blind 6s are anxious about safety and security with no skill for going on the defensive.

Sp 7 is about lifestyle, so 7 is about generosity and optimism, and sx 7 is about novelty and raw experience.

Sx blind 7s are without the stimulation a 7 feels, so blind 7s are without any impulse to give back to the world, and sp blind 7s are without an obsession with keeping their lifestyle in order.

Sp 8 is about pure survival, so 8 is about leadership over others, and sx 8 is about rebellion and eventual surrender to another.

Sx blind 8 is the most self controlled and unwilling to show weakness, so blind 8 has no filter for its aggression, and sp blind 8 has no strong instinct for survival

Sp 9 is about accumulating resources so it can remain stationary, so 9 is about making connections and being an active 9, and sx 9 is about a peaceful merging with another.

here are two more similar tests;  (the beige protocol) (entropy)

I’ve been reading about Enneagram instincts (a.k.a. Instinctual Variants) and I’m on the side of believing that, generally, we “have” all three, just in different orders. And I can’t remember where I read it, but there’s been clarification about how we only list two when identifying ourselves with them because the third one would be obvious and not the main focus. E.g. Sx/So could only be followed by Sp, the remaining instinct, so it’s not necessary to add it.

Still, this doesn’t mean that I believe a perfect balance between all three or, worse, forcing the use of the last ones at the expense of the first ones would be ideal for everyone. What I’m proposing is that we replace the notion that we don’t have the last instinct because we do. Unless, for some reason, you’re an exception and have an absolute 0 of it. And even then, it might still be developable to some extent. The key is in how much we can use it and how well.

If we look at them in the context of the following levels, we could identify where we’re at with each instinct. This is vague and it is given to interpretation, but it can at least serve as a reference.

Toxic - It is resented and even hated. There’s strong aversion to most, if not all, that is related to it. You avoid using it so much (and probably even expect others to as well) that it causes many troubles for you and all around you. Repressed – You keep yourself from it and hold it back. It makes you uncomfortable and you try to deny it. It may be somewhat distressing. However, it could be worse. Neglected – You allow it to manifest if it comes to it, but you barely pay any attention to it and let it, and what it entails, decay if it will. You might not be very aware of it. Acknowledged – You know of it, maybe understand some of it too, but are not quite personally involved with it. Accepted – You recognize it and welcome it as a part of you, your needs and wants, and are willing to invest in it. Basic Use – You do the minimal, but, to you, it is still better than nothing. You’re learning to do what is required in its area. Advanced Use – You’re skilled at it. It is relatively easy for you to practice and not something many can bug you about failing at or lacking in. Expert Use – You’re a pro at it and someone who can give great advice and/or assistance in its realm. Master Use – Congrats! Is a lifetime long enough to reach this point, though?

Just a post on my humble observations as an sx/sp.

so/sx: 

1. Usually the people whom you should never expect to withdraw from a social situation to talk to you.

2. Invites others to come join, thinking that it would be a good opportunity for you to make friends. 

3. Usually very flighty, its easy to think that they have a crush on you from the way they treat you.

4. Takes a while to put you as a priority, and even longer for them to admit it, while an sx/so has clear preferences from the beginning, marking their sx-zone with a clear no entry.

5. So/sx’s don’t need deep conversation as much so they let things flow as they go.

6. Masters of making others reveal their sx gracefully and are usually ‘crush’ material.

7. Becomes friends with your classmates or acquaintances but later position themselves next to you as a sign of close friendship. My so/sx makes my friends giggle and squirm with compliments then would trot back to me.

8. Sx/so would have people latching on to them, forming a group of ‘admirers’ who are sx-blinds but like the idea of sx. An so/sx wouldn’t be as expressive of their exclusiveness and would control the situation to make people feel included, and as a result they end up with friends rather than a group of admirers.

sp/sx

1. Would actually open up a lot but would withdraw a lot. By a lot I mean every possible opportunity they get to go back home, they would. sx/sp wouldn’t mind letting go of personal needs for a short amount of time.

2. Would be seen sitting alone or going out alone. They work alone and eat alone. Alone is the best way to go for them. And so with sx/sp’s, except sx/sp’s don’t stay alone for long before they try to find an sx friend whom they’d spend most of their time with.

3. Prefer the more outgoing types, so they don’t do most of the work. And they won’t. Even after months of friendship they still have to be invited to sit next to people. I’ve been told to ‘attach as much as you want’ by an sp/sx but on the flip-side they won’t move an inch closer to you.

4. Dictators of friendship boundaries, mostly because of their sp needs. 

5. They would accept your advances. If you ask them to go out with you they’d accept, if you ask them to call they would. They’re rarely the ones who’d suggest doing something, but if they do you have to accept immediately (if you don’t elaborate, even if they said it casually, YOU’RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE), while an sx/sp wouldn’t mind bringing it up a few times until they’re sure of your decision.

6. They’re better at deep conversation than so/sx. Its more concentrated, and it’ll leave you feeling more satisfied overall. 

7. They reek of sx. Inappropriate at times. But usually it happens when they want to bond with people and they are testing out their reactions. Sometimes it is done more carelessly than an sx/sp would have it.

Both types will act indifferent if they don’t want to go through the sx zone with you.

This summary is based off the premise that you have knowledge of the instincts already. This is strictly the role that the instincts fall into according to their order. 

1. The first instinct in the stacking: Your Shield

What is it: The first instinct in the stack is the instinct that you take the most seriously.

Why: Because this instinct is what we are most insecure about. We overcompensate in this area in order to make up for our insecurity.

How you can tell: You can tell by how a person spends their time and energy. They will most likely get “antsy” about not doing the things concerning their primary instinct.

How it manifests:  The first instinct is not just the one you defend yourself from others as a form of self-protection, but it’s also the instinct you defend to others. This means that we are defending ourselves from the world with this instinct, and that we are also can become defensive about this instinct to others. Which explains why it is the instinct you take most seriously.

Examples:

sp doms will defend against pain from the world by having and sp “bubble” around them. A safe space. They ”dome up” or “put their guard up.” They are able to retreat to a safe place where their boundaries will not be crossed in this space. Sp doms are very sensitive to their own and other peoples’ boundaries. They want to know that you are not going to cause them unease or threat or vice versa. Often Sp doms have noted that they need to feel safe before they can come out of their “shells.”

sx doms will defend against pain in the rawest form. The rawness is their defense. They jump right into things. The intensity of being completely raw is a form of protection because it’s complete immersion. This means that they do get hurt, but they often will take the experience and say “It was worth every second, and I would never take it back, even if it was painful.” If you were to ask an sx dom how they defend themselves from the world, they would most likely reply with “I don’t.”

so doms will defend against pain from the world by creating a “separate social identity.” This means that at an early age this “separate identity” was cultivated in order to not take the pain of socializing personally. To clarify, they don’t take the social world as personally because the identity they’ve cultivated is like creating a character. This is not to be mistaken as being fake. This means that they have created this character, who does showcase parts of themselves, it’s just not always all of themselves fully. So doms often say that they have many social layers to them.

More under the cut…

Based in feedback, I’ve decided to make this post based on my previous one on tritypes.

If you want to read the serious version, click here.

Enneagram 1:

Sp: “Is that… a typo … in my paper?! Oh my gad no no no no no!” *sends professor an apologetic e-mail although the paper was only a draft*

Sx: “Hey, you were supposed to be at my party five minutes ago. This simply isn’t good enough. Next time, you have to set an alarm so you’ll be here in time. And did you shower before you got here? Your hair is greasy. Shampoo is a thing, you know.”

So: “Eating meat is murder. You should really be a vegetarian, like ME.” *really emphasizes me* … *two minutes later* “… What?! What are you saying, you are not a feminist?!…” *cycle repeats with different concepts*

Enneagram 2:

Sp: *at a party late at night* “Wanna go to my place and check out my Pokémon card collection? Wink wink” *actually shows the other person their Pokémon card collection when they get there*

Sx: “Wait, so you are telling me this guy likes me, and that guy likes me? Well, then they should fight over me, of course! *watches from afar with a smug smile as these two guys tear each other apart*

So: “Is there anything you need? A blanket? A hug? A cup of tea? No? PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN BE OF SERVICE!”

Enneagram 3:

Sp: “If I can live my life without bragging about my achievements, you can live your life without bragging about your achievements. Idiot.”

Sx: *meets friends at pub* “Hey, guys! Eyes over here! Guess what, I was in the newspaper today!” *hands out a laminated copy of the article to each person in the group*

So: *on a date* “Well, that’s enough about you, let’s talk more about me now!” *explains how they’re gonna be famous and the power of ~dreams~*

Enneagram 4:

Sp: “No no, I’m fine, it’s just a dislocated knee cap. No, I swear, I can barely feel anything.” *laughs desperately* “No, these aren’t real tears. I swear, I can walk it off no prob!”

Sx: *meeting someone for the first time after chatting online* “Man, you are taller than me. Now I wanna cut off your head so I’m the tall one.” *pretends it’s a joke but is dead serious*

So: “Oh man. I’m so thirsty. If only that glass of water was a little bit closer to me.” *somebody finally hands over the glass after ten minutes of sighing* “Oh maaaan, now I’m not thirsty anymore. I’ll never be happy.” *sigh*

Enneagram 5

Sp: *may or may not be preparing for a zombie apocalypse, emerging from their man cave after ten days* “Well fuck, the sun is up. Better stay inside.”

Sx: “OMG, I’ve been playing this video game for the past three months, it’s really great! Yeah, I know the only thing you do is herd sheep, but it’s really fun! NO, you GOTTA try it! PLAY WITH ME PLZ, I’ve been so alone!”

So: “No no, you guys just talk. I’ll just sit here and play on my 3DS. It’s fine, really, I can just listen, that’s okey.” *quietly observes everyone for three hours and is the last one to leave*

Enneagram 6

Sp: “Shit, what if my savings won’t cover my hypothetical car accident when I’m traveling next summer!” *frantically saves more money for next year’s summer vacation to the neighboring town*

Sx: “Is that…. A challenge?! HOLD MAH PURSE, IMMA BEAT THIS FUCKER TO DAH GROUND.” *on the inside: “please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me” *

So: “See, here is the deal. I’m the high school jock, and you’re a nerd! So, get out of my way and know your place in this world, looser!” *also works the other way around* “I’m just a nerd, better stay away from that jock over there. He’s so cool. Wish he thought I was cool like him.”

Enneagram 7

Sp: “So this is where the party’s at?! I hope it’s okey I brought like twelve of my best friends … Whooooo partaay” *is shit drunk 10 minutes later in a stranger’s apartment*

Sx: *during an exchange student program* “OMG I’ve lived in this country for two days now! I GOTTA MOVE NOW! Hmm… let’s see, where have I not lived yet? Uzbekistan seems fun!”

So: *totally wants the last piece of the cake* “No no, you take the rest, I don’t even want it. No no, just take it, it’s fine, I’m fine, this is fine, it’s all good, we’re fine here. JUST TAKE THE GODDAMN CAKE!”

Enneagram 8

Sp: “Hey, you are my person broh! I’ll help you beat up that mean old lady across the hall. Hey, it’s no prob man, that’s what dude-bros are for.”

Sx: “I swear to god, if you ask me to move this couch one more time, I’ll rip out your vocal cords. I don’t care if it blocks the door to your room, this is where I sit and watch Netflix!”

So: *saves an old lady from drowning* The old lady: “omg, thank you so much, how can I ever repay you?” *so 8 just leaves, whispering to self*: “Another day is saved by the amazing Falcon Boy!” *whistles self-made theme song*

Enneagram 9

Sp: “Hey, I’m in my middle of my 18 hour South Park marathon here, please just - do not disturb me please. Oh, and, could you get me another beer plz?” *puppy eyes because they really don’t wanna get up from the couch*

Sx: “No no no, I’ll do whatever you wanna do. No, I swear, I’ll do literally whatever, just you name it. No, of course I don’t have my own opinions, why would I need that when I have yours?”

If you want to read a similar version based on subtypes, click here.

125: *in a study group* “Here is the paper you wanted feedback on, Brittany. Yeah, I know you said next week, but I had some time to spare. Oh btw, I just did a few changes” *hands back a fully rewritten paper*

126: *enters a party way too early* “THANKS for inviting me! Do you need help with anything? Getting the snack ready? Prepare the punch? Arranging the sitting group? Clean up the bathroom?”

127: *at a party* “Hey, guys, can I have your attention? I thought it would be fun to play some games so everyone can get to know each other, so if you all can arrange your chairs in a circle…”

135: “It’s leviOsa, not leviosA”

136: “I just finished color coding all of my curriculum, and I prepared my entire reading schedule for the next five years at uni. What did you say? When I have time off? … what about after Christmas?”

137: “Hey, let’s leave this party and find a pub somewhere. No, it’s no fun if not everybody is coming! What are you talking about sick, Brittany? You are ruining the night for everyone!”

145: “Well, the leading scientific research on the field says that you are a moron!” *leaves with a smug smile*

146: “You are breaking the law by downloading torrents, you know. I don’t care, but don’t come crying to me when the police get you.”

147: “I have spent the entire week planning this party, and now people are leaving early! I will never invite you to a party again! I will find new friends instead!” *plans another party with the same people next week*

258: “I find that yoga really helps me! You should try it, I can recommend the best classes! Hey, here is an idea: why don’t you come join me tomorrow! It’s really good for your back and I have this protein shake that… No no, I insist!”

259: “Well of course I will do your homework for you, I am so glad you asked” *is actually kinda happy*

268: “OMG Jason STILL hasn’t answered your text? That asshole! Okey, now you gotta give the silent treatment for like a week. No, Brittany, listen, I know this stuff!”

269: “Yeah, I can help you move, when is it? In the middle of the night on Wednesday? That’s a bit inconvenient, but sure, I’ll be there. No problem, bro.”

278: “You just need another glass of wine and then everything will be fun! No no, stop crying Brittany! I SAID STOP CRYING!”

279: “So Mathilde and Jonathan aren’t talking to each other, and it’s horrible. Yes, I know they are fictional characters, that’s not the point!”

358: “No no no, let me tell you how to fix the current situation”

359: “No no no, I’m fine, everything is fiiine, no problem, I’m chill.” *has internal breakdown because nobody is doing what they are supposed to*

368: *someone does a tiny mistake* “OMG how stupid ARE YOU?!?!?!?!” (tells nobody they can’t do it any better)

369: “I’ll have a grande double lite no gluten no lactose low fat diet frappechino with whipped cream and pumpkin spices on the go please – Yes, my name is Brittany. No! Bri-tta-ny!”

378: “You just gotta believe in yourself, man! It’s all about mindset! I climped this mountain in a blizzard last year, what’s your excuse?!” *stares down a person in a wheelchair*

379: *just got home from a road trip* “omg guys LETS GO ON A ROAD TRIP!!!” *starts packing*

458: *looks at a person completely expressionless* “Did you know that the perfume you’re wearing contains hardened whale vomit and feces?” Also: “Just don’t tell me what to do.”

459: *said at a party* “I wonder what Kant truly meant when he said: ‘Ingratitude is the essence of vileness.’”

468: “That baby was so ugly! … what? Nobody else was gonna say it.”

469: “Do you actually like this dress? For real? Like, you actually think it’s nice? Okey, thanks for telling me!” *goes to next person* “Hey, what you think about this dress I’m wearing? Oh really?”

478: “What are you talking about? I’m amazing! You just don’t get me because you are a poser like the rest of them. And yes, this is a velvet suit!”