Engauged To Body Art

Alright let’s have a lil conversation here, shall we?

Imma address this pos image princess by princess, here we go.

SNOW WHITE - now before I begin writing about Snow White, let’s put this into context, shall we? Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs came out in the 1930s. THE NINETEEN THIRTIES. You think there were a whole lot of strong females running around in movies from this era? There weren’t. Women had only even had the right to vote in national elections for 17 years. Its a movie based on a fairytale written centuries ago. OF COURSE IT IS NOT GOING TO FEATURE A PARTICULARLY STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER. Now, let’s also keep in mind that Snow White is 14. Basically a child. And when her stepmother tried to KILL HER, she ran off into the forest and survived long enough to find a place to stay and people to support her. In fact, she does more to support the dwarfs than they do to help her. Yes, she is saved by her beauty, but let’s keep in mind that she met the prince before she “died” and so he isn’t only judging her by her face.

AURORA - Aurora is cursed at birth by a witch who was pissed she didn’t get invited to her mutherfucking birthday party. THATS THE WHOLE REASON. SHE DIDNT GET AN INVITE SO SHE COMES A BURSTIN IN TO LAY DOWN SOME SHIT. So Aurora can’t even help what her fate will be because it is predestined for her. She lives almost alone in the forest. And what is this “owner” shit?? Prince Philip is  FUCKING BADASS and saves Aurora from a DRAGON. And again, this movie was made in the 1950s. Still not a notoriously strong time for women.

JASMINE - are you fucking joking me with this one. The whole kickstarter of the story, THE WHOLE REASON THIS HAPPENS, is because Jasmine stands up and says “this law that says I have to be married to have power is STUPID AND WRONG”. She is enslaved by a powerful man and she stands up and says “hey moron this is STUPID AND WRONG” and then uses her assets to help Aladdin to defeat Jafar. And then what happens at the end of the movie? Her father says “hey that law that we have that says you have to marry a prince is STUPID AND WRONG AND I AM GETTING RID OF IT BECAUSE IT IS STUPID AND WRONG” jfc I can’t even with this one, Jasmine is one of the strongest princesses.

ARIEL - “this one” had intentions of becoming a human BEFORE she met Eric. “This one” sang A WHOLE EFFIN MUSICAL NUMBER ABOUT IT before she even SAW the prince. “This one” saves her prince when HE ALMOST DROWNS in the ocean after being hypnotized and almost married off to an evil sea witch in disguise. “This one” followed her heart instead of doing what her parent said she had to. “This one” stood up and got what she wanted. Yes, Ariel is silly and cute BUT SHE IS ALSO A BADASS WHO STANDS UP TO A HUGE ASS SEA WITCH WITH AN ALL POWERFUL TRIDENT

BELLE - OMG WTF WHO CAME UP WITH THIS DESCRIPTION OF BELLE BECAUSE I WILL FIND YOU AND CUT OUT YOUR INNARDS. Belle is well read, quirky, refuses to give in to the unwanted sexual advances of a man, embarasses that man in front of a whole village BECAUSE of those unwanted sexual advances, doesn’t judge on appearances, and furthurmore, IT ISNT HER GODDAMN SEXUALITY THAT MAKES THE BEAST LOVE HER ALRIGHT YOU FUCK TRUMPET. It is her brains and her heart and her ability to see past the fur and appreciate him for who he is, her willingness to give herself for her father, her patience and her kindness and even her stubbornness to not take orders and do what she sees right. FOR FUCKS SAKE

CINDERELLA - Again, the 1950s. Cinderella is a hard worker who never gives up hope and does everything she can to get to the ball. When she gets there she doesn’t even seek out the prince, he comes to her. ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT PHYSICAL ATTRACTION NEVER HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD BECAUSE IT DOES. And then they spent hours together in a garden dancing and talking and he wants to marry her because he loves her OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS IN THE KINGDOM he picks her and he doesn’t even care where she came from. He doesn’t even know her name. So he uses what he can to find her and thats a shoe. Also, watch the Cinderella sequels because the prince sure as hell isnt only interested in her for her looks. Cinderella got her happy ending because she worked hard for it and DESERVED IT and never gave up hope.