THIS DAMNATION.

in lucian’s original canon it was betrayal that lead him to living in solitude. he’s been brought up and made to live up to expectations which took vigorous training and fortitude. because lucian has been met with more shallow smiles than genuine, his black and white perspective towards others stemmed from the treatment he was given. hearing one thing said to him directly, but then hearing the opposite behind his back. lucian learned to view the world as merely a giant chessboard and people as pieces, but it was ultimately his friendship with zadimir that lead him to think and believe that there were genuine people out there, a rare number among the countless pawns. lucian is incredibly deceptive, purposefully overbearing, narcissistic, and observant. he’s also a people-pleaser, and craves affection and adoration only to himself due to being touch-starved for so long. he has questionable coping methods but is a seeker of attention for the sake of sating himself. even if said affection is artificial on many levels. nothing ever descends past the surface because he’s afraid of it. lucian’s biggest fear is abandonment.

♡ for something ?