probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions
for example, when chatting with coworkers, iâll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but letâs be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go âuhhhhh⌠no.â so instead, i phrase it as âso, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?â
phrased like this, thereâs rarely any awkwardness. youâve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic âout,â so to speak
but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation
so i said âhow about you just say âiâve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?ââ
now Walking Neighbor has an automatic âget out of jail free cardâ if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesnât have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because sheâs set it up to go smoothly
either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic
























