Somewhere Crying

I miss being touched.

I’m happy I’m moving out and doing it on my own, but sad because I’m doing it…on my own…..

Don’t sink⛵️

But of course, I was right

I get so angry with myself over the fact that i still think about you, i still find happiness in the memories i have of us. Beau, i don’t know what you did to me but i did really love you, i still love you. I’m sorry i couldn’t leave the same impression on you that you did for me but, i really do hope you’re happy and i hope you get your surgery and you feel more at peace with your body. I wish it could’ve been me, part of me still hopes you’ll come back eventually but that’s wishful thinking and i have to be realistic🥲

My birthday was yesterday and although I enjoyed myself, I couldn’t help but think of you and how I had the expectation that I would be spending my birthday with you and how special it would’ve been if it would’ve been with you. I found myself hoping for a text from you, or even a subtle post but alas nothing…

My daughter still talks about you. I smile and nod and agree with her saying yes I remember that too, but it hurts every time. I get upset with myself that I let you con your way into my life so easily, so fast. I should’ve held up my boundaries better. She still talks about you. Remembers the pictures you took together, Going out to dinner, your dog, your truck… she says your name so effortlessly. How could she know that it stabs me in the chest every time, reminds me what I lost…everytime.

I still think about you, i still miss you. The days get easier but i still have to fight at night to keep myself together.