Hello!

Odysseus: I love you.

Calypso: You do?

Odysseus: But not in the way that you want me to.

Calypso: So....like a friend?

Then one day, Telemachus being bored as hell and probably got into another fight with the suitors, goes up to Athena and asks her if her friend ever did something stupid

And Athena just. Jumps to tell all the bullshit Odysseus got into. It's like a therapy session to talk about how dumb he can be. And Telemachus eats it all up

Fast forward to when Ody comes back home and Athena just hangs around sometimes. Telemachus, again, bored goes to ask Athena about stories of her friend and the shit he did. And Athena freezes up. Odysseus gets curious, and jealous, cause he never knew about a friend, and asks his son.

The mix of pure horror on his face when he discovers his son knows all the stupid shit he did in his youth, and the joy of Athena calling him her friend and talking about it goes entirely unnoticed by his son.

Athena meanwhile is dying inside.

web martin time

I just think he deserves to be a little evil

There are other modes of control

If I stab you with your own trident

*odysseus and poseidon are both still on the rocks in the middle of the sea*

odysseus: ok, let's just agree to both say we're sorry

odysseus: on the count of three

odysseus: one..two..three

poseidon:

odysseus:

GET IN THE WATER???

WINDBAG JETPACK??

“you can’t kill me.”

“exactly.”

“how will you sleep at night?”

“next to my wife.”

ODYSSEUS????

I have delivered🫡

*telemachus and odysseus walking down to the docks, after odysseus said he'd go sailing with his son*

(listen the man had missed 20 years of his son's life, he could ask ody to dress in drag & do the hula and odysseus would already be shouting "LUAU" in a grass skirt before tele finished his sentence)

telemachus: i'm so excite- *looks ahead*

telemachus: *stops walking* oh no *sad noises*

odysseus: *still walking* what's wrong son?

telemachus: *points to the sea beyond ithaca's shores* poseidon must be angry today, look at the storm in the distance

odysseus: *looks ahead but without worry on his face* no need to worry, we can still go sailing, follow me

telemachus: *confused but follows his dad*

*both make it to the docks*

odysseus: you get started, i've just got something to do & then i'll join you on the ship

*telemachus hops on the ship and odysseus turns to face the sea*

odysseus: *red eyes activate* i'm. going. sailing. with . my. son.

*the sea storm dissipates in record speed*

odysseus: good.

odysseus: *red eyes deactivate*

odysseus: *turns to telemachus smiling like nothing happened* shall we go then?

telemachus: *happy but very confused*

Eurylochus and Darling